Archive for the ‘Media relevance’ Category

Wednesday’s Word

Wednesday, November 8th, 2017

per·spec·tive

The interrelation in which a subject or its parts are mentally viewed; also: point of view; the capacity to view things in their true relations or relative importance.”

Did you know that your perspective can be affected by your perception?  I know; I see you scratching your head so let me make a confession: I honestly thought they were the same thing! Welcome to Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power and Wednesday’s Word with Trench Classes United. Come on in for what I hope will be a powerful blog that will clear your perception to positively affect your perspective, no matter where you are in life!

I can’t take credit for this breakthrough; it comes from Jason Frenn, the author of Power to Change.  Let me see if I can explain it to you in a way that brings clarity. As the definition states, perspective is where you are physically, emotionally and spiritually when you view something, or someone, and perception is how you interpret what you are looking at, perceiving with your mind and soul, from any given perspective.

For example, we have all read or heard of those amazing stories of a person born into poverty, or a not so positive generational cycle of any type; this equates to their perspective, position and/or placement in life. Now, how they rise above it and make something of themselves because of how they viewed and interpreted their circumstances is their perception. In other words, perception is how we take in whatever we take in.

Let me share a word picture that comes to mind: There are many arteries and blood vessels (little pipes) that carry oxygen and blood to and from the heart but they can’t do that if there are clogs in the pipes, so to speak. Life can clog those pipes –perspective—and receiving God’s love becomes really difficult, if not impossible for many. (John 3:16) It is NOT because God’s love isn’t powerful enough to clear the clog, but more because their perception needs to receive truth in order to unclog the perspective.

His love is what changes our perception so that no matter what perspective we are viewing our life’s circumstances from, or those of others, our perception doesn’t waver.

Perception can change your perspective.

But how do we change our perception despite our perspective?

God knew there would be so many of His kids born into unhealthy cycles,  incredibly unpleasant circumstances, which is why He left us the precious gift of His Spirit: to change our perception, despite our perspective.  Could it be that when we feed our faith, our perception is able to rise above our perspective?

What will you do today to positively affect your perception in a way that lifts you above your perspective?

Thoughtfully,

Evinda

 

Oh, Little Children . . . Part II from Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power

Tuesday, May 7th, 2013
Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power

Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power

Thanks so much for joining me for Coffee Hour today and part II of our WOW for May! Grab your coffee and come on in.

So now that we have the backdrop for verse 4, let’s get our spiritual shovels and go dig through this verse which holds significant relevance for us individually as well as a flashlight of hope for us nationally, considering the disastrous direction we are headed.

You are of God, little children – STOP! Now, I don’t’ know about you, but when I read that, I thought, why in the world is he calling these people “little children”? Is it because of their weakened faith? So I looked up the translation for “little children” and bingo! I found the answer and I was so excited. I’m telling you, it pays to dig! “Little children” was/is a term of affection by a teacher to his students/disciples. The term is figuratively only and not meant literally in this verse! This implies that we are teachable! Okay, let’s keep going.

You are of God, _________ (put your name there), and have overcome them – STOP! Let’s talk about the “them.”

The “them” in that verse is referring to is those false prophets/teachings/spirits. Now let’s stop and graze here for just a bit with the term “brainwashing” in mind. Pardon the pun. Whew, this is tricky because brainwashing can be both bad and good but not at the same time! What I mean is some people may call me brainwashed because of my faith and how I try to live my life. I try and wash my brain daily with His Word, which is the only truth that can wash away the lies from my past, those that were passed on to me from others as well as those I’ve told myself.

See, we aren’t born thinking we are fat, or thinking we are ugly, or inadequate or stupid, or ____________. The list can go on and on and you can fill in the blank. Something or someone contributes to the dilemma of false message based on false teaching. Please hang in here with me; you’ll be glad you did. And by the way, I’m not trying to get all psychological on you and I understand many believers have a fear of psychology but when we apply The Word to our life’s experiences, you can’t help but see God, so therefore you have God-ology! Sometimes it just requires digging to get to the simple truth.

So while 1st John 4:4 was/is John speaking to 2nd and 3rd generation Christians about the spirit of oppression that surrounded them, brought about by false teachings, he is also speaking to us in our generation about the false messages we tell ourselves about ourselves as well as those who try to oppress us with things that go against the Word of God.

Now in Part I of this WOW, I mentioned national brainwashing … website mission statement cloud 200x

Sorry for the pause, but I had to stop and pray for the spiritually correct, and not politically correct words!

Some bloggers use their blog as a political platform often with the intent to create a schism, drawing a line; I am not one of those. I will never proclaim to be wise in the ways of the governmental/political forum so let me just say with confidence what Scripture tells us over and over again: What was once wrong will become right and what was once right will become wrong. I was both outraged and fearful as I read that our military could suffer severe consequences if they share their faith. Here’s an excerpt from an article I found about this:

“The statement, released to Fox News, follows a Breitbart News report on Obama administration Pentagon appointees meeting with anti-Christian extremist Mikey Weinstein to develop court-martial procedures to punish Christians in the military who express or share their faith.

“(From our earlier report: Weinstein is the head of the Military Religious Freedom Foundation, and says Christians–including chaplains–sharing the gospel of Jesus Christ in the military are guilty of “treason,” and of committing an act of ‘spiritual rape’ as serious a crime as ‘sexual assault.’ He also asserted that Christians sharing their faith in the military are ‘enemies of the Constitution.’)”

I urge you to take the time to read the entire article for yourself. The article’s title is: “Pentagon may court martial soldiers who share Christian faith.” Google it! After you read it, determine if there is any type of brainwashing that has brought about this possible order. If you determine that there is, is it good? Or is it bad? Doesn’t the assurance that Greater is He that is in You comfort you in these times?

Join me tomorrow for part III of our May WOW.

In His grip of grace,

Evinda

 

The “High” Way to Heaven-August’s WOW-From Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power

Thursday, August 2nd, 2012

Coffee Hour!

Thanks so much for coming back to join me for more of our WOW and a coffee break. Let’s get back to this word search that led to our words of wisdom to live by for August (Philippians 3:14-I press toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.)

So we dug some truths out about the climb in life; now let’s dig for some truths about the word press: to pursue without hostilitySTOP! Wow, to pursue without hostility is a mouthful and while hostility may seem a bit strong for what I’m trying to convey, let me just say with conviction that complaining leads to hostility! Ouch! Oh, thank You, Father, for the truths hidden in Your Word that when found, have the power to transform!

Press also means to follow, follow after, for example, follow righteousness; follow humility, love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, gentleness, goodness and self-control. I can’t help but believe that the more we press into and follow after the things of God, the deeper our transformation in our journey upward on our way to the prize of life eternal!

I’m getting this analogy of the Olympics and the lighting of the torch, so let me see if I can put it into words: While the torch lighting is not the most exciting thing to happen during the Olympic Games, the visual representation signifying the start of the games is one that always sends chills to the viewers. Each of the Olympians has trained long and hard and their journey began long before they lit the torch and yet, the lighting ceremony is the goal toward the prize – a possible gold medal.

Our goal as believers is to commit to the climb; the prize for the believer is the place of victory. Victory is when Christ has become the center of his/her life, not a peripheral place; and the upward call is when Abba brings us to Him through Jesus, at the end of our race, journey, game, life, whatever you want to call our time on this earth!

So while life is hard, and often seems to a never-ending climb, again I must say I’d rather be climbing on the highway of heaven than falling backwards into the pit! I pray that these words come alive in your life!

Back to Single by Evinda Lepins

The Book that started it all is RELEASED!

Pressing upward,

Evinda

 

Power Friday-From Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power

Friday, July 27th, 2012

Coffee Hour!

Thanks so much for joining me today for our Friday Power Thought at Coffee Hour! Grab your coffee, iced or hot, and come on in!

So our power thought today is not just co-dependency related. In fact, when you first read it, you may ask, what does that have to do with the price of eggs? I mean, with co-dependency! But since co-dependency is the loss of your true self — therefore it’s a self-wounding process — it really has a lot to do with co-dependency.

I’m sure you’ve heard the phrase, “Be true to you,” or “Stay true to yourself.” Well, without further ado, here’s our power thought:

Integrity is undivided!

Have a great weekend!

Joyfully,

Back to Single by Evinda Lepins

The Book that started it all is RELEASED!

Evinda

The Sound of Silence-From Coffee Hour with Chickilt Power

Monday, September 12th, 2011

Welcome to Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power and thanks so much for stopping by. Yesterday was a day filled with a myriad of emotions and yet there was something  that spoke the loudest among the silence. Grab your coffee and come on in. Let’s talk about yesterday.

Yesterday, there was no escaping the reminders of that day ten years ago that changed our nation forever, stole the lives of 2,819 innocent people, rendering everyone they touched affected in a myriad of ways. Picture after picture, during the attacks, in the midst of the search and rescue missions, in the chaos of the rubble, the unspoken question of “why” stares back at us.

There are no words to even begin to describe the pain of the loss, especially for those who lost a loved one — a friend, a husband, a wife, a father, mother, sister, brother, aunt, uncle, cousin – no one’s loss is measurable.

I would never even begin to believe that I could offer any kind of solace about the silence that fell upon where the Twin Towers fell, and now where a most appropriate and beautiful memorial is imbedded in such a way as to never be destroyed. However, I am awe-inspired by what fills the sound of silence.

As I watched segment after segment on the various channels yesterday, listened to cited memories over the radio, there were two beautifully profound and silent attributes woven in everything that I heard that spoke louder than the silence suffered ten years ago: Love and hope.

Those attributes are two of our Father’s passed down to us and impossible to take away, even in the midst of the most horrific thing that I have ever witnessed happening to our nation and its people.

Paul Simon gave an amazingly moving performance as he sung “Sound of Silence,” a song that he wrote during the aftermath suffered from Kennedy’s assassination in 1963, with that same indescribably excruciating and gut-wrenching emotion that can come only after a tragedy. Together the audience joined in love and hope, despite the loss.

I don’t think I’ve ever heard President Obama read an entire chapter out of the Living Word of God, and I’m not the one who can judge his heart, so I choose to be inspired toward love and hope.

Giuliani, the former mayor of N.Y., read from the book of Ecclesiastes, and again, I am inspired toward love and hope.

Many now grown men speak of missing their dad, and find refuge in their motivation toward a brighter future. Again, I am inspired to love and hope.

There were so many inspiring memorial memoirs, and despite the tears, the suffering still lingering from this senseless act of terrorism, in the midst of silence, I continue to hear love and hope.

May love and hope inspire your choices today,

Evinda

 

The Night after The Bachelorette, and After the Final Rose-From Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power

Tuesday, August 2nd, 2011

Welcome to Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power and thanks so much for coming back to “The night after The Bachelorette.” Grab your coffee and come on in for a scene by scene rewind of the FINAL night! 🙂

We’re off to Vomo Island in Fiji, the perfect place to “write the last chapter” in her love story says Ashley as she also affirms that she’s not going to have any regrets. She also looks into the camera and says she feels so confident about her feelings for these two guys. Hmmm, how can you really love two people at the same time?

Her reunion with her family was sweet. It’s obvious that she’s very close with all of them. As she describes J.P. and Ben to her family, it’s actually kind of honest, in a weird sort of way. With one she has passion and with the other she admits to being more compatible. Well, I wish I could buzz on over there like a fly and whisper in her ear that compatibility can turn into passion, but if a relationship’s foundation is merely passion, then it will become a dying ember. Her family steps right up to the plate and says that they are going to be able to figure it out for her, that they will be able to figure it out by watching her interact with each of them. RED FLAG!

J.P. is up to the plate first. Let’s see if he hits a homerun or strikes out. Ashley actually looks pretty much herself as he begins to talk with her family about his and Ashley’s first date. They all seem to get along pretty well, a lot of laughter and then when she’s with her mom and her sister, her sister says she’s too much for him.

Ashley began to cry at her sister’s honesty, a bit brutal. Mom encourages her to follow her heart, and Ashley says her heart’s a little broken at her sister’s opinion. Wow, she’s crying hard and Mom’s trying to smooth the waters that have become big waves of confusion for Ashley. Her sister goes off with J.P. and admits right away her skepticism of their relationship and then just says she doesn’t see it, meaning the two of them. J.P. defends his feelings and their reflection and tells her that he wants them to all know he’s 100 percent in love with her and that there’s an undeniable chemistry between them.

Wow, this girl’s realism is a splash of cold water for J.P. especially when he asks her if he proposes to Ashley, would she not be happy for them? She shook her head and said she wouldn’t be. It really rocked J.P. and stirred his anger and his temper and he makes a valid point that she made such a harsh judgment after 15 minutes. As he shared this with Ashley, Ashley admits her confusion and says I just need to figure it out, and J.P. responds with these words: “I thought you had it figured out.” Ouch. 🙂 This day did not end well at all. The biggest thing that is up in the air at this point about Ashley and J.P. is a big question mark.

Ben meets the family and Ashley stands back wrapped in anxiety and fear. Now, they’re on the couch and talking. The ice breaks and Ashley breaks out in goofy mode and we get to see something that we’ve never seen before. Ashley and Ben break out in doggie talk. It was hysterical. So this is part of what they did behind closed doors and off camera? It’s so funny, refreshingly funny. 🙂 The whole family is laughing and I’m seeing a connection there that is definitely different from that with J.P.

Oh, it’s tough older sister, about to ask some tough questions and Ben tells her that it makes perfect sense to him to be with Ashley; that they are like best friends, that her joy when they are together gives him the confidence he needs to propose to her. He also told her sister that nothing has been forced with them and he’s in it for the long haul and the cherry on the top of that day was that the family likes him, including big sister! 🙂

Oh, so I didn’t realize they get a day together after meeting the family. Ben and Ashley are going up, up and away in a helicopter to explore the island of Fiji. I’ve really got to put this place on my bucket list!

First they take a mud bath in the hot/healing springs. Ben comments on their “playful friend” side and Ashley is definitely having a good time with the mud. Before they see each other for their evening date, he shares with us that he doesn’t say the “l” word very often. They toast to everything going well tonight and to everything being well received.” The silence is a bit heavy and Ashley picks up on it right away. Ben’s vulnerability is so stinking sweet and honest as he tells Ashley that he’s in love with her and the walls came down. Funny thing, each of them said the same thing about kissing the other all their life, that they would be lucky to be able to and that they definitely could.

Now it’s time with J.P. and they talk about their relationship and J.P. says, “When it comes to you, I’m flexible on everything.” He shares with her that he’s madly in love with her and that he’s been dying to tell her, and in his words, completely vulnerable and completely exposed. And Ashley is feeling so good with where things are at. She even says she gets lost in J.P. Hello, that’s a big red light! But I think she’s gonna blow right through it. Oh, somebody stop her and give her a ticket, please! 🙂

Now, this is just an Evinda-ism, but J.P.’s emotions are driven by the need to win this contest, seriously. I don’t think it’s really real, but that’s just my opinion!

So Ben is picking out an engagement ring much like the other bachelors! Well, maybe it’s a bit different. When J.P. shows up to pick out a ring and the jeweler tells him, what are you going to do if she says no, his face falls and he gets a twinge of anger. It almost looks as though he doesn’t pick out a ring, but he does.

Ashley looks amazing, stunning and beautiful as she goes to stand in position and waits to break Ben’s heart; that’s right, it’s Ben she says no to but Ben is convinced that she’s going to say yes. This really inhales vigorously. Why in the heck does she kiss him if she’s gonna say no. Ashley starts to cry when Ben comments on the fact that she doesn’t have a ring on her finger and he plunges forward with his profession of love and then gets down on his knee and proposes. All he can say is “Wow, I didn’t see this one coming.” Ben is crushed, absolutely crushed and Ashley runs after him. Her words sound so meaningless, like they added coal to his fire of anger and humility at being completely vulnerable. Oh, this is senseless but one thing Ben said that struck me was, “Ashley went safe today.” I actually think she’s taking a huge risk that is not going to have good payoff results.

J.P. is taken by her beauty. He takes her hands as he rewinds their journey, and admits that he’s taking a leap of faith, that he smiles because of her. He bends down and proposes and she says yes. Now that we’ve all witnessed it, we should bathe them in prayer before they are sent out to the sharks, aka, the media.

After the final rose begins with hearing from Ben after reliving his refused proposal and he admitted to it being tough to watch. The reason it was so tough, as Chris says, is Ben’s love for her was genuine. Ben told us that the hardest part was after professing his love to Ashley and proposing and her rejecting that proposal, getting back up was the toughest thing to do. He does make the comment about putting himself out there and becoming vulnerable, he wouldn’t have done that without Ashley and her opening him up to that ability to feel love again.

When Chris asked Ben how the days were that followed, he said they were tough and what made it worse was he had to go to his best friend’s wedding on his way back home. “Where are you now; are you over this relationship?”

“Well, I think about Ashley, obviously. She impacted my life greatly and I’m a more complete person because of this whole journey.” Wow, what a guy!

Ben really wants to know when she made that decision and he finally gets to ask her!

OMG, who is that walking out? Why do they do it; go and get all changed up and looking completely different? Her hair is completely dark, now or is that the original Ashley that we saw with Brad? I’m so confused.

So Ben’s asking her when did she make that decision and she said that there was really a point in time – she wasn’t specific as to which point – that she thought he was the one she would end up with, but at the end, she had to follow her heart. Oh, how Hollywood has done such an injustice by painting love all with passion!

Ben, you definitely left with dignity and you still have it, as you sit there and admit that he’s glad that he went through it and that this journey opened him up.

Chris gives Ben a chance for any final questions and Ben asks if there was anything he could have done different, and Ashley convinces him that there wasn’t because he was perfect the way that he is.

J.P.’s and Ashley’s first public appearance and when Chris asks, “What do you love about this woman,” J.P. answers, “When I’m with her, nothing else matters.” And then Chris asks Ashley the same thing, “We’re just a team always on each other’s side. It’s not

just about him, but about us and what we have together.”

Now they’re addressing the tabloids and how mean they are. If I can say one thing that you will remember from this blog, don’t believe everything that you read in those magazines! They have their own agenda and it doesn’t include the feelings or considerations of the people involved.

He got the girl and the plans are Ashley is a month away from finishing school and then she will be moving to New York and they will be getting a place together and try and experience a “normal” life together before committing to a wedding date and marriage! Well, that’s getting started off on the wrong foot and is definitely not the old “normal” and moral, but hey, that’s Hollywood!

Thanks for sticking with us through this series.

Thoughtfully,

Evinda

 

The Night After the Bachelorette from Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power

Tuesday, July 26th, 2011

Welcome to Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power and welcome to “The Night after the Bachelorette.” I know for some of you this isn’t your favorite show; neither is it your favorite subject that I blog about, but I’d like to just reassure you that one of the reasons I do it is to look for opportunities to point out some spiritual significance while trying my hardest to not be sarcastic. I’ll admit, it’s a little tough sometimes, the way Hollywood glamorizes love and/or the search for it.

So tonight we’re off to Fiji with the final three — Ben, Constantine and JP — and Ashley and the previews look like the show is fileld with lots of drama, aka, Hollywood’s form of excitement. Oops, there I go, getting sarcastic! 🙂

So she spends some time rewinding her time with each of these three guys and assuring us or herself that she’s really confident with who is left. Remember that; she’s really confident about who she’s chosen to be here at this point, confident of a happy ending.

The first date is with Ben, but when we go to open the door with her, all we see is her eyes pop open wider than saucers and her mouth drop to the floor! Guess who is back? No, not Bentley! 🙂 Ryan came back because he has convinced himself that they have something; that there were things left unsaid. OMG, this guy’s heart is about to be broken – change that to shattered! He explained to her that he never saw it coming, that she was going to let him go and he felt that they didn’t get to see “this” through. I wonder what “this” is. I have to see you again and just say this: All I’m asking for and I can live with the answer either way, but I feel that we didn’t have a full chance. And you know where you are with things and I don’t know if after I left if you sat back and you regretted anything, if you’ve thought about me at all, or if you thought wow, maybe we should have had more time together or we should have had more of a chance. If that’s in your mind at all, then like I want to spend more time with you so bad.” Poor guy, he swears there was something there and he’s really risking it all for the chance at love.

I can’t even begin to describe Ashley’s look on her face as he assures her that he doesn’t need a response right now; that he’s staying for a couple of days. Talk about clumsy and awkward. He really is a good-looking guy and to many, I’m sure he looks like a weird-o but what a nice guy and pretty cute, too. He even says if he gets hurt, that’s fine, but at least he can say he gave it his all. Ashley admitted to being shocked and thrown for a loop and even admitted that she thought about him quite a bit after she sent him home, wondering if it was the right decision, but now it’s time to focus on Ben.

Ben calls his relationship with Ashley effortless and Ashley feels very comfortable with him, completely comfortable. She loves his hunger for life, and Ben does have that joy about him. She also feels very protected by him. Wow, Fiji has to be on my bucket list. It’s beautiful. They talked about the hometown date and how Ben’s mother and sister see good things from Ben since he’s embarked on this journey looking for love. “Hysterically perfect” is Ben’s quote for the day’s events, and he feels as though it’s going to only get better. He is pretty funny, but as I think of the what-if’s, like him going home, my heart hurts for him. Something that suddenly doesn’t feel so effortless is telling Ashley that he loves her despite the “sense of clarity” he received from being with her for the day. Ben admits to feeling committed to her at this point. He’s learned a lot about himself because he’s met Ashley. Now, that’s a good thing. What happens when she isn’t in his live? Will he regret getting to know what he’s come to know as himself? And this clarity, will it get muddied, our clouded with pain? I have to say this: What if we were to take away the ambience, the beautiful surroundings? Would they both still feel the same?

Now it’s Constantine’s turn. This is the relationship that has moved the slowest and the one that I have the most respect for. They’re going up, up and away in a helicopter. What an amazing view! 🙂 Ashley just called Constantine a Greek God? 🙁 Wow, what high expectations! She says he’s still very closed off so she asked if anything changed after the hometown date and Constantine admitted that he missed her.

She then plunged ahead and asked him, “How many houses did you look at before you bought one?” She already knew the answer; it was 108. She made her point, because he immediately defended himself and then he said, but women and houses are different. “But you have to think things through; you take your time. We do have time, but we don’t have a lot of it, which makes this hard because I like you so much and I did from the beginning.” She told him that the waiting was worth it after the hometown date. She can’t figure out what he’s thinking and that bothers her, because he’s not forthcoming with the thoughts of his heart and she’s frustrated because their relationship is not progressing at the rate that it needs to be. Wow, what a bummer, because they could actually have something decent, but for Hollywood’s rules.

I love what she asks him next: “Are you ever overly consumed with your emotions?” To which he responds, “Absolutely, yeah.” The conversation deepens and deepens as they get honest with each other and he admits he doesn’t have that “falling in love” thing, and “this fantasy suite, I know what it means and I also know what it implies. And I knew if I got to this point and I wasn’t in love with you, then I wouldn’t accept the fantasy suite. And I think that – I just want to show you a level of respect. I’m not pretending and I’m not going to start that now. I respect you too much as a person to make this any harder than this has to be.”

Wow, I like this guy, really like this guy!!

When Ashley asked, “Where does that leave them now,” he very matter of factually admitted to it being the end of the road for him and he got up and left! The reality of the possibility that she may end up all alone after all this hits her hard as she walks back to her suite.

Constantine leaving has given Ashley “clarity” and she knows what she has to do now so she goes to see Ryan. She says all these really nice things, and then there came a “but.” “But I did know that it was the right decision in that you were exactly like what I wanted in a guy on paper but I didn’t feel that passion that I know I need in a relationship.” She continues to put the knife in a bit deeper as she tells him she’s found that with not one person but with two! 🙁

All he can say is, “Yeah, well . . .” and the he asks her if she’s happy and she says that she is, but she’s trying to figure out why she feels this way for two guys. What a nice, nice guy who has a great life but he’s missing one thing: someone to share it with. I pray he never settles but that he invited our Father into his desires for a relationship.

Ashley admits that she’s gonna take a risk with JP and put it all out there! While I don’t think he’s the best fit for her, it’s obvious that JP is who she’s going to pick, in my opinion. There’s a sense of risk, definite chemistry, and she is extremely comfortable with him. She thinks this could last a lifetime and he wants to be the one she chooses.

Ashley shared the fact that Constantine was gone and that Ryan had come back and that two guys had gone home. He tells the camera that he wants Ashley for his wife, but he doesn’t think he will be telling her until he knows it’s just him and her.

Let’s talk about these fantasy suites for a second. Come on! Are they really necessary? They say it’s so they can have time completely alone with no cameras and crew. But why is there always a bed there? Why do they feel that that has to be tested? It’s as though sex is some sort of recreation when no real foundation has been built. Such a bummer, but that’s just my opinion!

Hmm, the differences between Ben and JP: Ben is the one she’s most comfortable with; their relationship is so light and most playful. Ben is the one she’s most compatible with. She can’t even describe what she feels about JP. She feels that they compliment each other and she believes that they can make each other very happy.

So now let’s get to the rose ceremony that though it seems unnecessary since Constantine is gone, Ashley feels it’s the most important. She wants to make sure they want to accept the roses and that they’re in it for her.

She emphasizes that she really wants them to think about accepting the rose. Ben said he thought about it all week and he accepted it. She calls JP forward who agrees to accept the rose. This really surprised her I think she was thinking that maybe they would bail, too@

Next week we’ll be meeting her family as they explore more of the island of Fiji . . . Don’t miss the dramatic finale! 🙂

Thanks for hanging in there with me

Evinda

The Night after the Bachelorette-From Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power

Tuesday, July 19th, 2011

Welcome to Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power and thanks for coming by for “The Night after the Bachelorette.” Grab your coffee and come on in. We’re about to go on the hometown dates with Ashley and the four guys, Ben, Constantine, Ames and JP, and it appears we have some concerned families.

It’s already the first commercial break and the only thing she’s said that is worth writing is that when you meet the families, it puts things on a whole different level. Okay, let’s get to the first hometown date with Constantine, who is a restaurant owner.

Oh, I can’t wait to meet his family. He took her to his restaurant and she was really impressed with the love all his staff showed him. He taught her how to make a pizza while his staff peeked around the corner totally checking her out. He’s actually very funny and Ashley picked up that he’s totally real and more comfortable in his own space. Constantine just said something rather profound: “That’s like the beauty of love is that you can only be open and ready for it. You can’t do anything to make it happen or force it to happen.” OMG, you should have seen his chefs and waiters and waitresses all looking through the glass window out onto the patio, straining their necks, a couple of them obviously on tippy-toes to see if he was going to kiss her and he didn’t disappoint them! 🙂

Now it’s time to meet his family. How cute; they have balloons hanging up with a “Welcome Home Constantine” sign. His sister, mother and father were so excited to see him. Dad recognizes his happiness right away. The love in the family is beautiful music and it inspires Ashley.

Mom initiated a one-on-one talk with Ashley and I love her insight. She wants her son to find the love of his life, but she feels that they need more time because of course, everything is wonderful when you’re jetted away to these awesome places and beautiful beaches, and life is wonderful, but real life is different! Can I get an AMEN!!! I like her! Now she wants to ask a mama question, which was legitimate. She wanted to know if this did go in that direction, would Ashley relocate to where they all were, and Ashley said without a doubt, she wouldn’t have a problem doing that, especially if it’s what he wants.

Now it’s time for father and son who reiterates that it takes time, but he gives his blessing if he feels that Ashley’s the one. Dad said to use his mom and him as an example. He talked about ups and downs, that it’s not going to be perfect, but in the beginning, it should be.

Ashley was obviously very comfortable and had no idea about the planned surprise just as they were going to get ready to leave the doorbell rings and his entire family shows up, grandmas, aunts, uncles, sister, cousins and then they did this dance. I could so get on with his family. “All the pieces of the puzzle are really put together for me and Constantine,” Ashley said. She really didn’t want to go. And Constantine’s dad, well he wished for them to have love forever.

Ahhh, Ames is so excited to see her and his family includes a sister and her husband, another sister and a brother and his wife and his nephews and nieces. Mom can see that Ashley has really caught Ames attention, and his sister Serena could see the spark but wonders if Ashley has it. So, she gets right to it and tells Ashley clearly he has feelings for you. It’s serious now. You’re meeting his family now, his nieces and nephews and I’m just curious, what are your feelings for Ames?

Ashley admits that their relationship has moved a lot slower than the others but she’s choosing him over the relationships that have moved faster because she sees so many good things in him.

Serena asks another tough question: are you comfortable when you guys are together? Is it easy or do you feel like you have to work toward things or do you guys just — does it come naturally?

She feels something for him; he’s different in a good way and she’s just not ready to stop learning about him.

His sister says, “He’s like an onion. You keep peeling layers and you’re going to find out more.” She then confirms that he’s the most loyal, honest person you’ll ever know and he’s a romantic. His sister says that Ames has brought other girlfriends home before but this time it’s different. “He’s smitten with you.”

All Ashley could say is she wants to know more.

When Mom and Ames talk, he really comes out with how much he admires how she’s handled things. We definitely have a different opinion on that one.

Okay, now back with his sister Serena. Ashley asked her to tell her a bit about Ames’s father who died when Ames was ten and then his step-dad passed away, too. So that gave Ashley another piece to this puzzle. Serena wasn’t convinced that Ashley’s spark was/is as bright as Ames. Oh, now Ashley is telling Ames’ mom that she thinks they’re both similar and yet, when Ames has said that, she looked a bit bemused. Bummer, she just admitted to still missing the spark, that romance and passion. Why is it we feel that has to come first?

Oops, his sister gave Ames a heads up about kicking up the romance, so he did just that and took her to this beautiful garden and under his favorite tree with a picnic lunch.

Oooh, I like what Ames says: You can have romantic through the ordinary. There’s so much more magic in the ordinary; life doesn’t have to be like fireworks. And then she reached over and he leaned in and kissed her. Then he took her on a horse-drawn carriage with some beautiful horses, the perfect ending to their hometown date, a storybook romance.

Now it’s time for Ben, Sonoma, California. This is the winemaker and he says it’s his turn to surprise her all day. They start at the winery, and he shows her many more facets to him and they share a sweet moment before they begin their picnic in the rain. Ben tells Ashley that he’s only brought one woman home to meet his mother, and he assures her that it’s a big deal to him. Ashley asked Ben to describe his dad: “A gentle giant, super happy with life, soft-spoken, didn’t say a lot but super, super happy about life. He would have liked you.” Ben admits that this process has put him in touch with a different side of himself, the emotional side and he likes it. I hope he’s able to say that no matter what happens. Ben makes it very clear that “my mom and sister have to like you, or it’s not going to work for me.” If things don’t go well, then it may be the end for me.” Wow, his vineyard is beautiful.

Ben’s sister breaks the ice by talking about Ben’s hair, and then admitted to being the one that signed him up for the Bachelorette. Julia says Ashley is sweet, but she’s skeptical so she brings Ben in the kitchen and they talk, heart to heart. Ben admits to being into it despite it being scary and exciting all at the same time. When his sister asked if he saw himself engaged at the end of this, she smiled when he responded that if things keep progressing the way that they are, he most definitely sees himself engaged. Wow, I sure hope he don’t get a broken heart. 🙂 🙁  🙂

Ben told his mom that he hasn’t said he loves her but he likes her a lot. He’s really grown through this process, and he talks about his dad that passed away, and mom tells him that she thinks dad would be proud of him. Ahh, Ben has tears in his eyes. What a sensitive heart. With tears running down his face, he admits to missing his dad. There really is a little boy inside each man.

Okay, so now it’s JP’s hometown and this is who I think she feels the most for. We’re in Long Island and JP’s so excited to have her all to himself and he didn’t sleep a wink all night. It’s raining so JP has a special plan for them and Ashley narrates that she doesn’t care if she walks with JP down the street for three hours. She just wants to be with him. That says a lot! They’re going roller skating and didn’t even get their skates on before kissing. She is the most genuine with him. She’s going to meet his mother, father, his brother Roy and his brother’s girlfriend. JP admits to taking only four girls home to meet his family. He also admits that he’s willing to risk getting hurt for a chance at love. Interesting concept, huh?

The welcome from the family was genuine and loving. Mom is concerned and has so many questions to ask. She is honest about not wanting to see her son’s heart hurt like it was hurt before. When she asked if he was in love, he couldn’t quite say it, but he is confident that she doesn’t share what they share with the other guys. Mom is still guarded and tells Ashley as much as she relives a season of broken-heartedness for JP and says she’s nervous because she sees love in JP’s eyes when he looks at her. Mom really puts her on the spot and Ashley doesn’t flinch at all, but in fact encouraged it. She fell in love with JP’s family and talking to Chris, she has no regrets. I think maybe Constantine and JP and Ben get to stay, but let’s see.

Ben is the first name she calls to give a rose to. JP is second. Boy, they’re milking it. Just say Constantine’s name and get it over with. Whew, she just did. Poor Ames, he’s completely shocked, but still he’s smiling. He breaks down a little bit, telling her how impressed he is with her, and that it was beautiful and even more poetic than he expected and that he will remember every second of it. What a truly nice, nice guy, another broken heart. Somebody please tell me what is the purpose in all of this?

Have a great day,

Evinda

 

The Bachelorete, the night after-From Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power

Tuesday, June 28th, 2011

Welcome to Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power and welcome back to “The Bachelorette the Night After.” So I was reading the People magazine just yesterday afternoon, and there’s Ashley on the cover, talking about what a fool she feels having watched the first few episodes. She even admits that the first time she cried because her heart was broken, but then when she got to actually sit and watch the episode where Bentley bailed, the producers did not edit out any of the other degrading comments that he made about her, so having to watch that all over again brought the tears gushing to the forefront. I knew she was gonna feel pretty stupid when she saw the episodes uncut, but I have to say that I feel so bad for her having to soak in all that humiliation on top of a broken heart! 🙁

She really fell for that guy, and why, I haven’t a clue. It’s like this force takes over that is hard to resist and I think that there’s something in her that likes the bad boy and she was even warned about him. And the even sadder part, Bentley is still laughing about how he duped everyone! How sad is that? Talk about drama, I think this would be termed epic!

Anyway, we better get to the show, but let me tell you, from what I read from the interview that People Magazine did with her just recently, I’m thinking she winds up with no one, but that may be a little premature supposition on my part. But we’ll see. . . Grab your coffee and come on in. Let’s get comfy; this could be a little long! 🙂

Hong Kong is absolutely amazing, with one of the most beautiful skylines around, breathtaking, but Ashley is more caught up in the dot, dot, dot closing statement from Bentley. She’s got it bad. Oh, Chris is knocking on her suite. “My greatest fear for you is at the end of this, one of these guys is down on one knee proposing to you and all you’re thinking is hmmmm, what if, so . . . He then goes on to inform her that Bentley is in the hotel that she’s at. “Shut up!” There’s dead silence. Chris encourages her to not let Bentley be vague, to get the closure she needs so she can give the other guys a fair chance. It’s so crazy how we can be so attracted to poison, something literally absolutely positively wrong for us, but still we fall . . .

She’s walking to his room and when he opens the door and pulls him to her, their first few words are a bit awkward. He has the nerve to tell her to tell him everything that he missed. She begins to admit how hard it was when he left, and he has the nerve to say it was hard for him too. Lie; it’s a lie! So he’s turning his dot-dot-dot statement into a period. So I guess she got her closure, and she looks pretty confident, but is she?

She’s getting ready to see the guys and she looks less haunted by Bentley. The first date card arrives. “Lucas, let’s find our good fortune on the streets of Hong Kong.” They have a casual time walking through the city and at dinner Lucas admits that there are three things he would like to have from his date with her before the night ends: love to dance with her, love that first kiss and he would love that rose. In the meantime, date card comes and Ryan, Mickey, Constantine, Aames, Blake and Ben, “Let’s get our hearts racing. Love, Ashley.

Let’s get back on the boat with Lucas and Ashley Well, he gets one of the three, and that’s the rose. Oh, and he got a little kiss and then he really kissed her! Oh, how cute; he is dancing with her, and she’s liking it and feel protected with him.

It’s the group date and they are going to be dragon boat racing! Onstantine and Ben are the blue team. Blake and Ryan are the red team. Aames and Mickey are the black team. Each team had to go out in unfamiliar territory and recruit some boaters. Talk about a challenge. Ryan played it smart and their team got a translator. Ben and Constatine went after couples but were having a hard time finding willing participants. Aames and Mickey got a team of six or seven to help them. Score! Ryan and Blake got four guys to help so they were moving forward. Ben and Constatine put on red robes and wound up getting a whole team. And they’re off. . . Blake and Ryan won the race and in the midst of them savoring their win, someone from the group of people that were recruited engaged to their love. Wow, and they didn’t do it Bachelor or Bachelorette style! 🙂

Ames got her in the elevator and took her up to the 48th floor, and the ride up was definitely not wasted! Let’s just say that their lips were in hiding just about the entire ride.

We find out that J.P. gets the next one-on-one date while the group date is happening, which seems to be kissing the time away and ends with Ryan getting the rose.

Ashley is really excited to be on this date with J.P. Over dinner, she asked him when the last time that he cried was, he said his last breakup. Of course she dad to inquire if he had really moved on and he was honest with her so she felt she needed to be honest with him and she was hoping it didn’t backfire. She didn’t tell the other guys but for chemistry sake, she felt she could tell J.P. whose mouth dropped when she told him that she had seen Bentley two days ago there in Hong Kong, but then he was like pretty cool about it.

She told him that she feels so strongly about him and wanted to tell him about the whole journey. So they actually just overcame what could have been a big elephant in their relationship and J.P. admits to being more emotionally attached than he’s ever been and completely blown away by how he’s feeling. He’s crazy about her. I think J.P. is very genuine and believes he feels all that he is feeling. Oh, that he would remember all that he’s feeling when the tides of trials and troubles come up upon their ocean floor. Hmmm, maybe J.P. is the one. Maybe she does choose someone.

So she’s feeling like a new woman, confident and captivating. She has convinced herself that because J.P. took the news of Bentley being there so well, she owed it to the rest of the guys to let them know how she had fallen for him, about the dot, dot, dot, and that she felt all this time that she didn’t get the closure but since he did come to Hong Kong, she did receive her closure. She made an emotional deposit into all their egos but it did backfire.

The guys really put her through the fire with some very tough but necessary questions. They remind her that they are putting a lot on the line and here she has been thinking about him this whole time. She stopped herself mid sentence when she realized how upset they all were with her and she got up and excused herself. The guys discussed it among themselves, and a couple of them, the more they talked, the more ticked off they got. Oh, my, but the testosterone laced with pride is rising and it almost looks as though a few of them just might get up and walk out! Actually, Mickey did leave. What a bummer.

Ashley admits she doesn’t know how to navigate through this right now. She doesn’t know how to make everyone happy right now, but, hey, who of us does, right?

It’s time for the rose ceremony, and Ryan, Ben and J.P. already have a rose. Ben gets the first one, and the next one goes to Constantine. The final rose goes to – it better be Ames – yes! It’s Ames! Blake is asked to say his good-byes.

Next week, we’re going to Asia and of course, the previews are definitely making it look very confusing and like she’s not gonna have anyone there at end! 🙁

Join me tomorrow for a much more positive coffee hour. 🙂

Blessings

Evinda

 

The Bachelorette, The morning after- From Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power

Tuesday, June 21st, 2011

Welcome to Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power and thanks for coming by for our “The Bachelorette the morning after,” blog about what happened, scene by scene on this what I’m going to term a meaningful series, but not for its message, more for all its ugly truths that I can pull out of the fantasy of it all. Grab your coffee and come on in for some girl talk. I’m sure you’ve seen some of the articles on our seemingly senseless bachelorette, Ashley.

I was in the grocery store on Saturday when I saw on the cover of US Magazine a picture of Ashley and the words, “Why she took him back.” I was standing quite a ways from it but as soon as I read those words with my new permanent fixtures that are on my face, aka, glasses – ugh — I walked up to the rack to pick it up as if picking it up would make it not true. I knew it! There to the left of her big, big picture – and she is cute but . . . never mind, I won’t be catty! – There is Bentley smiling like a little boy who just won some sort of huge friend contest or something. “Unbelievable,” I muttered. My honey was even disgusted and is now determined that the show is rigged. Can anyone really be that crazy to self-inflict such inevitable heartache? I didn’t even read the article. I actually have a personal preference for the PEOPLE Magazine because I have found things that they have printed to be true versus the other gossip magazines. And that’s not meant to offend anyone. I just like to keep it real and therefore, I need to read what’s real. So let’s go see how much of these previews they showed last week and the articles that are on the newsstands are true.

They’re off from Phuket to one of the most romantic cities in Thailand, Chang Mai. Ben F. gets the first date with Ashley in Chang Mai. They went to the big marketplace, tried on hats, she tried on clothes, they stopped at a painter’s booth and they painted umbrellas. Ben has a great sense of humor and is really interested in what interests her. Their dinner was set upon an amazing flower-engraved setting that flowed with romance. Ben shared with Ashley about his dad passing and his heart being guarded since then, sort of like an emotional zombie. He has since come to terms with it all and says he’s ready to move forward because he’s less selfish and is taking down the emotional walls.

Meanwhile back at the resort, it’s time to tell who’s going on the group date: Constantine, Ames, Nick, Blake, Lucas, Ryan, JP and Mickey, which leaves Ben C and for the 2 on 1 date.

Back to dinner with Ashley and Ben, she asked him what his agenda would be for the relationship and he said my agenda would be about spoiling her and focusing on her, and for the first time in a long time – she means since Bentley – she’s feeling hopeful. She’s definitely better suited for Ben than Bentley!

So this date is a perfect example for some Thai culture, some training in the Moi Thai boxing, hands, fists, legs, anything goes. They were all pretty animated to show off their stuff until they were actually taken to a live ring and told they were going to actually now put into reality what they had practiced. First up to fight is Blake versus Lucas, and the winner is. . . Blake! Now it’s J.P. and Mickey.

This is so stupid. What in the world was she thinking? Now she’s admitting that it wasn’t sucha good idea because she’ realizes as these guys are pummeling each other that she likes them more than she thought. So, J.P. the little guy beat Mickey. Now it’s Ames and Ryan, and Ryan has been a bit cocky since learning that they were going to be doing this. Oh, No, Ames is sort of seeing stars and is holding up his hands so Ryan won that one. Ames has never been in a fight in his life. Poor guy’s got glassy eyes! He got his bell rung.

Then it’s Nick and Constantine, but as they’re fighting, Ames isn’t looking so good and Ashley goes off to get him help and Constantine wins his match but Ames is taken away in an ambulance. Again, stupid idea, Ashley! 🙁 He does return hours later in the midst of their cocktail party after dinner, but he’s suffered a mild concussion and is not able to hold an intelligent conversation. He’s actually a bit goofy and disoriented.

Blake finally gets a moment with Ashley and I love what he said: He says that relationships that are hot out of the gate don’t last; love is a marathon, not a sprint! Then Lucas gets a turn and he gets to show her how to golf and all she can say is “I was pretty turned on.” But when Lucas asks her what her type is and she says she doesn’t have a type, he tells her he knows her type is like Bentley! You should have seen the look on her face!

So she’s made her decision about who gets the rose and Blake not only gets the rose but some reassurance too. By the way, he’s the dentist! 🙂

Now we’re on the two-on-one with William and Ben C. Wow, what a beautiful view through the river waters surrounded by wild life, waterfalls, greenery everywhere and then they get off at a little park-like setting and there are three elephants carrying three guys. William is actually annoying and definitely insecure. He spends his one-on-one time talking about Ben and throwing him under the bus.

OMG, and I thought women were the only ones who stirred the pot with gossip, which is garbage that comes out of one’s mouth and is usually not true! And, yes, she’s falling for it. I mean, hey, she fell for Bentley, right?  She actually ended the date halfway through based on the garbage that came out of his mouth. What a bummer, a huge misconception! I think she needs some communication classes, but then again, if she weren’t so insecure, I don’t think she would have handled it like that. She made it all about her. To put it in Ben’s words, “What a terrible, terrible way for things to end, such a shame.” But hey, the one-on-one date turned into a no-one date! She sent the pot stirrer packing, too! What goes around comes around!

Now that’s the smartest thing she’s done all night. I’m thinking this is the guy that roasted her really bad, right? But then here comes more insecurities and now she’s thinking maybe this way to find a husband isn’t going to work after all!  Hmmm 🙂

Okay, so we’ve wasted two whole segments talking about Bentley and her needing closure. So they’re building it all up really well so I’m sure we’re gonna see him soon, if not this show, then the next one! Wow, is that ever going to be a big piece of humble pie when she looks at the rewind of the episodes! I wouldn’t want to be her.

Finally, the rose ceremony, and Constantine gets the first one. Next up is Lucas. The other guys are looking a bit nervous. J.P. is the next one to get a rose. Ames gets a rose. He should! J Mickey gets the second to the last rose. Here comes Chris to tell us it’s the final rose. That’s so funny to me. J As if we don’t know that already! Anyway, it’s between Ryan and Nick, and Ryan gets it.

They are off to Hong Kong next week and guess who will be joining us . . . Yep, Bentley! I wonder how much he was paid?

Join me tomorrow for more on the “If I could have coffee with God . . .” series and our tough question is: Why do bad things happen to good people.

Have an amazing day

Evinda