Faith Filled Friday

Frienemies!

Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art…. It has no survival value; rather it is one of those things which give value to survival.”
C.S. Lewis, The Four Love

Thanks for joining us for Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power and Faith Filled Friday with Trench Classes United. Grab your coffee and your Strand of Faith and come on in. I hope what is shared today will go with you this weekend and follow you into any kind of conflict you find yourself in with a friend whom you may now consider an enemy, aka, a frienemy! J

Have you ever watched children in conflict? There is actually something to be learned by observing their struggle with innocence and their juggling of their little cups of pride that spill out onto the one they are conflicted with or by. There is this sort of bittersweet thing about them as they wiggle through the conflict.

I got to watch how littles handle conflict at one of our grandson’s birthday parties a while back. Of course, everyone wanted to be around him and it was pretty interesting to watch him trying to juggle all the attention, especially since he was the birthday boy and everyone wanted to be his number one friend. Well, there was this one friend there who was insistent upon him paying more attention to her. It was kind of funny, in a peculiar sort of way and in other ways, not so funny. As I watched them, I marveled at the truth that we as adults can be so like children, except – and this is a big one – they still have a blanket of innocence around them and they get over conflict soooo much quicker!

Watching this very assertive little girl and how little B handled her attention was like witnessing the acting out of Colossians 3:12a-13 which tells us “to put on tender mercies, kindness humility, meekness, longsuffering, bearing with one another and forgiving one another if anyone has a complaint against the other, even as Christ forgave you, so you must do.”

Let me try and paint this picture verbally: As the party progressed, this girl, who by the way little B says “She’s a girl and she’s a friend, but she’s not my girlfriend” J – rather aggressively demanded her way.   At first he ignored her; that didn’t work. Then he tried appeasing her; that worked for a New York minute. And then as these things didn’t accomplish her desired goal, the conflict escalated and they began to sort of toss their point of view across to the other in hopes that the other would catch it. But then, a burst of innocence would happen and one of them would stop it with a hug, or a simple “I’m sorry,” and the conflict was over. All was forgiven…until the next time she, or he, didn’t get their way, or the other felt slighted or ignored and not special and then the tug of war began all over again.

His other grandma, whom my heart loves, and I were talking about it and she called them “frien-emies” and that stuck with me; you can’t be an enemy unless you’ve been a friend first! Think about it; we aren’t nearly as hurt or offended by a stranger’s behavior as we are by the behavior of one whom we love or care deeply for.

Why can’t we be more like children, and get through the conflict with a simple “I’m sorry”? Why does it seem to require so much more as we get older?

Maybe it’s time to consider the value that that frien-emy brings to our life…and if there’s more conflict than caring, maybe it’s time to evaluate the amount of space they take up in our hearts without paying rent…

True transformation can only happen with another and that’s the value that a friend brings!

Love,

Evinda

 

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