Tam’s Trench Truth

Hello everyone and welcome back to our Trench Truth Thursday.

 

For three weeks now, I have been sick. I just cannot seem to kick this. I have never spent so much on cough syrup, cough drops. Chronic coughing all the time till the point you feel like you could faint is so hard to do hour after hour, day after day and week after week. I started feeling like I had a little energy a few days ago and my cough got just a little better but then it bounced back with a vengeance. Trying to work like this has been incredibly difficult when you drive all night long.

The other night, I had to pull over because of a coughing spell wherein I coughed steadily for several minutes straight, I jumped out of my car with major anxiety and I took to prayer. To be honest, I don’t know if that’s what you could call it. I asked God why He wasn’t giving me some relief; that I was really starting to get upset. I hurt everywhere and my ribs feel like I went rounds with Mike Tyson. What adds to my frustration is the lack of help from the VA Hospital It’s as if no one is listening there. Anyways, let me get back to my conversation with God.

 

Please help me; bring me just a little relief, I cried out.

 

And just like that, my thoughts returned to something I wrote last year about how every breath is special in life. I still feel that way. But when breathing actually hurts I must say it challenges one’s own words and belief about each and every one of those breaths. I caught myself thinking maybe it’s ok to not have to love each and every breath. My mindset has always been about trying to challenge myself to appreciate life no matter what is happening, because I know how special it is.

 

But maybe it’s ok to just not have to be responsible for every breath. Maybe that’s God’s lesson is in this. The hardest thing to try and grasp is why He heals some and some don’t get their healing here in this life. Maybe I should ask Him for strength to get this instead of trying so hard to understand why I’m going through it.

 

Coffee Hour Friend and Trencher, can I ask you to pray for me? Pray that I would be given the strength to endure all that life is sending my way..

 

Much love everyone.

John Tam

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