The Night after The Bachelorette, and After the Final Rose-From Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power

Welcome to Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power and thanks so much for coming back to “The night after The Bachelorette.” Grab your coffee and come on in for a scene by scene rewind of the FINAL night! 🙂

We’re off to Vomo Island in Fiji, the perfect place to “write the last chapter” in her love story says Ashley as she also affirms that she’s not going to have any regrets. She also looks into the camera and says she feels so confident about her feelings for these two guys. Hmmm, how can you really love two people at the same time?

Her reunion with her family was sweet. It’s obvious that she’s very close with all of them. As she describes J.P. and Ben to her family, it’s actually kind of honest, in a weird sort of way. With one she has passion and with the other she admits to being more compatible. Well, I wish I could buzz on over there like a fly and whisper in her ear that compatibility can turn into passion, but if a relationship’s foundation is merely passion, then it will become a dying ember. Her family steps right up to the plate and says that they are going to be able to figure it out for her, that they will be able to figure it out by watching her interact with each of them. RED FLAG!

J.P. is up to the plate first. Let’s see if he hits a homerun or strikes out. Ashley actually looks pretty much herself as he begins to talk with her family about his and Ashley’s first date. They all seem to get along pretty well, a lot of laughter and then when she’s with her mom and her sister, her sister says she’s too much for him.

Ashley began to cry at her sister’s honesty, a bit brutal. Mom encourages her to follow her heart, and Ashley says her heart’s a little broken at her sister’s opinion. Wow, she’s crying hard and Mom’s trying to smooth the waters that have become big waves of confusion for Ashley. Her sister goes off with J.P. and admits right away her skepticism of their relationship and then just says she doesn’t see it, meaning the two of them. J.P. defends his feelings and their reflection and tells her that he wants them to all know he’s 100 percent in love with her and that there’s an undeniable chemistry between them.

Wow, this girl’s realism is a splash of cold water for J.P. especially when he asks her if he proposes to Ashley, would she not be happy for them? She shook her head and said she wouldn’t be. It really rocked J.P. and stirred his anger and his temper and he makes a valid point that she made such a harsh judgment after 15 minutes. As he shared this with Ashley, Ashley admits her confusion and says I just need to figure it out, and J.P. responds with these words: “I thought you had it figured out.” Ouch. 🙂 This day did not end well at all. The biggest thing that is up in the air at this point about Ashley and J.P. is a big question mark.

Ben meets the family and Ashley stands back wrapped in anxiety and fear. Now, they’re on the couch and talking. The ice breaks and Ashley breaks out in goofy mode and we get to see something that we’ve never seen before. Ashley and Ben break out in doggie talk. It was hysterical. So this is part of what they did behind closed doors and off camera? It’s so funny, refreshingly funny. 🙂 The whole family is laughing and I’m seeing a connection there that is definitely different from that with J.P.

Oh, it’s tough older sister, about to ask some tough questions and Ben tells her that it makes perfect sense to him to be with Ashley; that they are like best friends, that her joy when they are together gives him the confidence he needs to propose to her. He also told her sister that nothing has been forced with them and he’s in it for the long haul and the cherry on the top of that day was that the family likes him, including big sister! 🙂

Oh, so I didn’t realize they get a day together after meeting the family. Ben and Ashley are going up, up and away in a helicopter to explore the island of Fiji. I’ve really got to put this place on my bucket list!

First they take a mud bath in the hot/healing springs. Ben comments on their “playful friend” side and Ashley is definitely having a good time with the mud. Before they see each other for their evening date, he shares with us that he doesn’t say the “l” word very often. They toast to everything going well tonight and to everything being well received.” The silence is a bit heavy and Ashley picks up on it right away. Ben’s vulnerability is so stinking sweet and honest as he tells Ashley that he’s in love with her and the walls came down. Funny thing, each of them said the same thing about kissing the other all their life, that they would be lucky to be able to and that they definitely could.

Now it’s time with J.P. and they talk about their relationship and J.P. says, “When it comes to you, I’m flexible on everything.” He shares with her that he’s madly in love with her and that he’s been dying to tell her, and in his words, completely vulnerable and completely exposed. And Ashley is feeling so good with where things are at. She even says she gets lost in J.P. Hello, that’s a big red light! But I think she’s gonna blow right through it. Oh, somebody stop her and give her a ticket, please! 🙂

Now, this is just an Evinda-ism, but J.P.’s emotions are driven by the need to win this contest, seriously. I don’t think it’s really real, but that’s just my opinion!

So Ben is picking out an engagement ring much like the other bachelors! Well, maybe it’s a bit different. When J.P. shows up to pick out a ring and the jeweler tells him, what are you going to do if she says no, his face falls and he gets a twinge of anger. It almost looks as though he doesn’t pick out a ring, but he does.

Ashley looks amazing, stunning and beautiful as she goes to stand in position and waits to break Ben’s heart; that’s right, it’s Ben she says no to but Ben is convinced that she’s going to say yes. This really inhales vigorously. Why in the heck does she kiss him if she’s gonna say no. Ashley starts to cry when Ben comments on the fact that she doesn’t have a ring on her finger and he plunges forward with his profession of love and then gets down on his knee and proposes. All he can say is “Wow, I didn’t see this one coming.” Ben is crushed, absolutely crushed and Ashley runs after him. Her words sound so meaningless, like they added coal to his fire of anger and humility at being completely vulnerable. Oh, this is senseless but one thing Ben said that struck me was, “Ashley went safe today.” I actually think she’s taking a huge risk that is not going to have good payoff results.

J.P. is taken by her beauty. He takes her hands as he rewinds their journey, and admits that he’s taking a leap of faith, that he smiles because of her. He bends down and proposes and she says yes. Now that we’ve all witnessed it, we should bathe them in prayer before they are sent out to the sharks, aka, the media.

After the final rose begins with hearing from Ben after reliving his refused proposal and he admitted to it being tough to watch. The reason it was so tough, as Chris says, is Ben’s love for her was genuine. Ben told us that the hardest part was after professing his love to Ashley and proposing and her rejecting that proposal, getting back up was the toughest thing to do. He does make the comment about putting himself out there and becoming vulnerable, he wouldn’t have done that without Ashley and her opening him up to that ability to feel love again.

When Chris asked Ben how the days were that followed, he said they were tough and what made it worse was he had to go to his best friend’s wedding on his way back home. “Where are you now; are you over this relationship?”

“Well, I think about Ashley, obviously. She impacted my life greatly and I’m a more complete person because of this whole journey.” Wow, what a guy!

Ben really wants to know when she made that decision and he finally gets to ask her!

OMG, who is that walking out? Why do they do it; go and get all changed up and looking completely different? Her hair is completely dark, now or is that the original Ashley that we saw with Brad? I’m so confused.

So Ben’s asking her when did she make that decision and she said that there was really a point in time – she wasn’t specific as to which point – that she thought he was the one she would end up with, but at the end, she had to follow her heart. Oh, how Hollywood has done such an injustice by painting love all with passion!

Ben, you definitely left with dignity and you still have it, as you sit there and admit that he’s glad that he went through it and that this journey opened him up.

Chris gives Ben a chance for any final questions and Ben asks if there was anything he could have done different, and Ashley convinces him that there wasn’t because he was perfect the way that he is.

J.P.’s and Ashley’s first public appearance and when Chris asks, “What do you love about this woman,” J.P. answers, “When I’m with her, nothing else matters.” And then Chris asks Ashley the same thing, “We’re just a team always on each other’s side. It’s not

just about him, but about us and what we have together.”

Now they’re addressing the tabloids and how mean they are. If I can say one thing that you will remember from this blog, don’t believe everything that you read in those magazines! They have their own agenda and it doesn’t include the feelings or considerations of the people involved.

He got the girl and the plans are Ashley is a month away from finishing school and then she will be moving to New York and they will be getting a place together and try and experience a “normal” life together before committing to a wedding date and marriage! Well, that’s getting started off on the wrong foot and is definitely not the old “normal” and moral, but hey, that’s Hollywood!

Thanks for sticking with us through this series.

Thoughtfully,

Evinda

 

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One Response to “The Night after The Bachelorette, and After the Final Rose-From Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power”

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