The Night After the Bachelorette from Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power

Welcome to Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power and welcome to “The Night after the Bachelorette.” I know for some of you this isn’t your favorite show; neither is it your favorite subject that I blog about, but I’d like to just reassure you that one of the reasons I do it is to look for opportunities to point out some spiritual significance while trying my hardest to not be sarcastic. I’ll admit, it’s a little tough sometimes, the way Hollywood glamorizes love and/or the search for it.

So tonight we’re off to Fiji with the final three — Ben, Constantine and JP — and Ashley and the previews look like the show is fileld with lots of drama, aka, Hollywood’s form of excitement. Oops, there I go, getting sarcastic! 🙂

So she spends some time rewinding her time with each of these three guys and assuring us or herself that she’s really confident with who is left. Remember that; she’s really confident about who she’s chosen to be here at this point, confident of a happy ending.

The first date is with Ben, but when we go to open the door with her, all we see is her eyes pop open wider than saucers and her mouth drop to the floor! Guess who is back? No, not Bentley! 🙂 Ryan came back because he has convinced himself that they have something; that there were things left unsaid. OMG, this guy’s heart is about to be broken – change that to shattered! He explained to her that he never saw it coming, that she was going to let him go and he felt that they didn’t get to see “this” through. I wonder what “this” is. I have to see you again and just say this: All I’m asking for and I can live with the answer either way, but I feel that we didn’t have a full chance. And you know where you are with things and I don’t know if after I left if you sat back and you regretted anything, if you’ve thought about me at all, or if you thought wow, maybe we should have had more time together or we should have had more of a chance. If that’s in your mind at all, then like I want to spend more time with you so bad.” Poor guy, he swears there was something there and he’s really risking it all for the chance at love.

I can’t even begin to describe Ashley’s look on her face as he assures her that he doesn’t need a response right now; that he’s staying for a couple of days. Talk about clumsy and awkward. He really is a good-looking guy and to many, I’m sure he looks like a weird-o but what a nice guy and pretty cute, too. He even says if he gets hurt, that’s fine, but at least he can say he gave it his all. Ashley admitted to being shocked and thrown for a loop and even admitted that she thought about him quite a bit after she sent him home, wondering if it was the right decision, but now it’s time to focus on Ben.

Ben calls his relationship with Ashley effortless and Ashley feels very comfortable with him, completely comfortable. She loves his hunger for life, and Ben does have that joy about him. She also feels very protected by him. Wow, Fiji has to be on my bucket list. It’s beautiful. They talked about the hometown date and how Ben’s mother and sister see good things from Ben since he’s embarked on this journey looking for love. “Hysterically perfect” is Ben’s quote for the day’s events, and he feels as though it’s going to only get better. He is pretty funny, but as I think of the what-if’s, like him going home, my heart hurts for him. Something that suddenly doesn’t feel so effortless is telling Ashley that he loves her despite the “sense of clarity” he received from being with her for the day. Ben admits to feeling committed to her at this point. He’s learned a lot about himself because he’s met Ashley. Now, that’s a good thing. What happens when she isn’t in his live? Will he regret getting to know what he’s come to know as himself? And this clarity, will it get muddied, our clouded with pain? I have to say this: What if we were to take away the ambience, the beautiful surroundings? Would they both still feel the same?

Now it’s Constantine’s turn. This is the relationship that has moved the slowest and the one that I have the most respect for. They’re going up, up and away in a helicopter. What an amazing view! 🙂 Ashley just called Constantine a Greek God? 🙁 Wow, what high expectations! She says he’s still very closed off so she asked if anything changed after the hometown date and Constantine admitted that he missed her.

She then plunged ahead and asked him, “How many houses did you look at before you bought one?” She already knew the answer; it was 108. She made her point, because he immediately defended himself and then he said, but women and houses are different. “But you have to think things through; you take your time. We do have time, but we don’t have a lot of it, which makes this hard because I like you so much and I did from the beginning.” She told him that the waiting was worth it after the hometown date. She can’t figure out what he’s thinking and that bothers her, because he’s not forthcoming with the thoughts of his heart and she’s frustrated because their relationship is not progressing at the rate that it needs to be. Wow, what a bummer, because they could actually have something decent, but for Hollywood’s rules.

I love what she asks him next: “Are you ever overly consumed with your emotions?” To which he responds, “Absolutely, yeah.” The conversation deepens and deepens as they get honest with each other and he admits he doesn’t have that “falling in love” thing, and “this fantasy suite, I know what it means and I also know what it implies. And I knew if I got to this point and I wasn’t in love with you, then I wouldn’t accept the fantasy suite. And I think that – I just want to show you a level of respect. I’m not pretending and I’m not going to start that now. I respect you too much as a person to make this any harder than this has to be.”

Wow, I like this guy, really like this guy!!

When Ashley asked, “Where does that leave them now,” he very matter of factually admitted to it being the end of the road for him and he got up and left! The reality of the possibility that she may end up all alone after all this hits her hard as she walks back to her suite.

Constantine leaving has given Ashley “clarity” and she knows what she has to do now so she goes to see Ryan. She says all these really nice things, and then there came a “but.” “But I did know that it was the right decision in that you were exactly like what I wanted in a guy on paper but I didn’t feel that passion that I know I need in a relationship.” She continues to put the knife in a bit deeper as she tells him she’s found that with not one person but with two! 🙁

All he can say is, “Yeah, well . . .” and the he asks her if she’s happy and she says that she is, but she’s trying to figure out why she feels this way for two guys. What a nice, nice guy who has a great life but he’s missing one thing: someone to share it with. I pray he never settles but that he invited our Father into his desires for a relationship.

Ashley admits that she’s gonna take a risk with JP and put it all out there! While I don’t think he’s the best fit for her, it’s obvious that JP is who she’s going to pick, in my opinion. There’s a sense of risk, definite chemistry, and she is extremely comfortable with him. She thinks this could last a lifetime and he wants to be the one she chooses.

Ashley shared the fact that Constantine was gone and that Ryan had come back and that two guys had gone home. He tells the camera that he wants Ashley for his wife, but he doesn’t think he will be telling her until he knows it’s just him and her.

Let’s talk about these fantasy suites for a second. Come on! Are they really necessary? They say it’s so they can have time completely alone with no cameras and crew. But why is there always a bed there? Why do they feel that that has to be tested? It’s as though sex is some sort of recreation when no real foundation has been built. Such a bummer, but that’s just my opinion!

Hmm, the differences between Ben and JP: Ben is the one she’s most comfortable with; their relationship is so light and most playful. Ben is the one she’s most compatible with. She can’t even describe what she feels about JP. She feels that they compliment each other and she believes that they can make each other very happy.

So now let’s get to the rose ceremony that though it seems unnecessary since Constantine is gone, Ashley feels it’s the most important. She wants to make sure they want to accept the roses and that they’re in it for her.

She emphasizes that she really wants them to think about accepting the rose. Ben said he thought about it all week and he accepted it. She calls JP forward who agrees to accept the rose. This really surprised her I think she was thinking that maybe they would bail, too@

Next week we’ll be meeting her family as they explore more of the island of Fiji . . . Don’t miss the dramatic finale! 🙂

Thanks for hanging in there with me


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