Say Nothing at all!
Psalm 141:3: “Set a guard, O Lord, over my mouth; Keep watch over the door of my lips.”
Welcome to Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power and Trench Classes United! It’s Wednesday, time to take a verse and chew on it so we can digest it into our very being and utilize it in this journey of life! Grab your coffee and your Strand of Faith and let’s go strengthen our faith and trust in the Author of The Greatest Book ever Written. J
So when it comes to writing these blogs, I really like to write about what I’m learning, something I’ve recently been through or a recent conviction. This is why I say I write from my heart to yours.
Have you ever walked into a room or up to a group of “friends” and feel the tension as they become quiet with your appearance? You just know they’re talking about you, right? Maybe, maybe not! J But nevertheless, it’s a horrible feeling.
What do you feel when you hear/read the word gossip? Most people when asked that question say they don’t like it; they think it’s wrong. The funny thing is almost everyone does it…but I must say unconsciously because they’ve become immune to their own form of gossiping! The word gossip is a noun and means: “Idle talk, rumor, especially about the personal or private affairs of another.” Hmmm, personal or private creates a conundrum with the use of social media, but still, anything we say about another, if it can’t be said in front of that same person, shouldn’t be said!
Recently I was at a function with people I’ve known for a while, people that I truly care about – I have to be careful here because I don’t want to go down that slippery slope of gossiping! Anyway, one person in particular began the gossip fest with “What do you think of your new church ‘Active’”? The tone was one of sarcasm and I know it’s based on her own experiences with the church and the pastor. As I write this and rewind the evening, I remember I started to go down that slippery slope with her…but stopped her gossip train by sharing with her this truth: “As I’ve said before, I have based my opinions on him, and the church on my own experiences with him and them; all I can say is he has a heart for others.” I went on to give one of my opinions, which wasn’t necessary, but at least that definitely derailed the track she was going down.
After dinner, we moved around to our various tables and there were two people who every time I went around them, they were talking about someone different, and it was like they were pulling from each other what they could to find out what the other thought of the person. I sat in silence with another bystander and said absolutely nothing at all. AWKWARD! Now, years ago, I might have chimed in and given my two cents in order to feel a part of the conversation, to fit in, belong, but I’ve been the recipient of the harsh harm that gossip can cause; and though I’m not completely rid of this sneaky, slithering tendency that creeps in at the most unsuspecting times, I’d like to think that He and I have a better grasp on it rather than gossiping grasping me.
Within minutes one of them was sitting next to me and before I knew it, she was leaning over to me, and she began to whisper about the other’s son, something he had done, asking if I had seen the post on Facebook having to do with what she was talking about. I let her finish and then I looked her straight in the eyes and just said gently but matter-of-factly: “What if that was his need at the time and he didn’t do it with the intention that you’re implying? What if what you’re thinking isn’t accurate?”
Well that was like a splash of cold water on a cold day!
What if we were to just give people the benefit of the doubt, quit trying to drive their cars (lives) and base our own opinions on our own experiences…and then say nothing at all. Why do we feel the need to talk about others? Is it really about the other person, or more about us?
When we gossip about another person, it says more about us than about the one we’re talking about!
Gossip is like alcohol, legal but deadly! It causes so much damage. Father, help us to live by the golden rule: If we don’t have nothing nice to say about another, let us say nothing at all. Set a guard, O Lord, over our mouths. Help us to keep watch over the door of our lips.
Learning and unlearning