A Sad & Ugly Truth-From Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power

Welcome to Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power and happy Monday to you! I can’t believe that October is half gone! Am I dreaming or is time flying? Anyway, grab your coffee and come on in for a giggle or two while I share a few more symptoms and solutions before sharing the sad and ugly truth I learned from this fun event I was blessed to be a part of. I think we left off at symptom number 4. 🙂

4. You know you’re in menopause when: You entertain thoughts of opening up a Jiffy Lube services for women and wonder if you’re turning into a nun. Have no fear, another menopausal symptom is here. (Okay, so this is a delicate subject, and a bit personal, but it is a symptom so I hope no one is offended! 🙂

(Solution):

As my OBGYN says, use it or lose it

‘cause it’s shrinking real fast.

You’ve got to make that special time

with your honey last.

So even when you feel

it’s the last thing you want to do,

cuddle up to him and let him get

all lovey-dovey with you.

If you have to fake it until you make it,

you’ll receive a double prize.

A happy husband says his menopausal wife

looks gorgeous in his eyes.

When your guy’s not feeling respected,

he may go looking for your broom.

Don’t be surprised if he hops right on

and takes you for a spin around the room. 🙂

5. You know you’re in menopause when: PMS turns into 24/7 IMS (Irritable mood syndrome) which symptoms include but are not limited to: Broom rides and mood swings, depression and/or anxiety. There is nothing more perplexing to the man than watching his menopausal woman get on her broom and fly around and then just as quick as she gets on and flies, she gets off and returns to her happy self. It’s beyond a man’s comprehension. Menopause is God’s way of granting the man patience. I’m thinking that’s why the word men is in there. Say the word backwards and what do you have? “Pause oh men” . . .

(Solution)

Recognize this IMS for exactly what it is;

menopausal symptoms are like post-marital bliss

where you thought you knew yourself and the one you married, too,

but one of you begins to morph after saying the words “I do.”

Post-marital bliss often involves constant surges of pride,

while menopause is hormonal surges that send us on that ride.

It’s time for an attitude adjustment, a washing of your mind.

What goes in is what comes out is exactly what you’ll find.

Tell yourself it’s temporary, you’ll get back to normal soon;

get on your knees and pray so you don’t ride that broom to the moon. 🙂

6. You know you’re in menopause when: You’re Sleepless in Yucaipa. . . Yup, insomnia is a definite sign of “the change.” Sleep deprivation is definitely a form of suffering, and not just for you, but those you live with. After nine nights of Sleepless in Yucaipa, and my broom never touching the ground, I parked it in a two-hour spot and pretended to be nice while in my doctor’s office who immediately wrote me a prescription for a mild dose of Ambien. The side effects of sleep deprivation are too many to count and heighten the menopausal symptoms by ten, so it’s nothing to mess with. Have no fear; another menopausal symptom is here.

(Solution):

Don’t meditate on meditating

while waiting for sleep to come to you.

Jesus ain’t the reason for this season.

Go ahead, ask Him to help you through.

There are things that come from the garden

that can help you go night, night;

black co hash, lavender or Melantonin

can all do the job just right.

But also make sure that only night time

is shining in your room

and just before you go to sleep,

you’ll let go of that old broom.

I hope those brought a smile to your heart! Have an amazing day and don’t forget to join us today on Blog Talk Radio at 1:00 Pacific time as we continue towards our Destination? Joyful! ™ and overcome eating disorders and all of their effects.

Joyfully,

Evinda

P.S. I’d like to say Happy Birthday to a special friend, Ginger. May the memories you create today, sweet friend, fill your heart with love for years to come. I love you so very much and cherish our friendship.

 

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7 Responses to “A Sad & Ugly Truth-From Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power”

  1. Refugio Julius Juarez says:

    Spot on with this write-up, I actually assume this web site wants much more consideration. I’ll most likely be once more to learn much more, thanks for that info.

  2. Jan Bachelor says:

    Glad to see that you are giving hope to those who need to know they are not alone in this. I think in the covered wagon days they called this “wind sickness”, because so many women just walked outside and never came back. Poor ladies, they didn’t have an understanding of what was going on and how to cope without going insane. Maybe “Lyda Pinkums” women syrup didn’t exist yet.(For those of us who can even remember that product) Ha. Your poems are cute and true too. Hang on, it doesn’t last forever, it just seems like it.

  3. costume col mao says:

    splendid information , thanks for writing it

  4. Patrick Froneberger says:

    The article is worth reading, I like it very much.

  5. Julio Bennerman says:

    Exceptionally interesting thank you, I think your trusty visitors may well just want further blog posts along these lines maintain the great content.

  6. Thank you, I’m glad you like it! and yes we did. 🙂

    blessings,
    Evinda

  7. jasminelive says:

    Like it … very well pointed!