Welcome to Coffee Hour and thanks so much for stopping by! We’ve been in this series for a while but when you consider how emotional most of us women are, is it any wonder? Grab your coffee, and your Strand of Faith and let’s go talk some more about chasing a characteristic instead of all our feelings!
So we’ve talked about chasing self-control versus the feeling of being in control, the characteristic of being content versus chasing feeling happy and then that feeling of being in love. Oh, to learn the powerful truth about love being so much more than a feeling; it’s a verb, not a noun; it’s a choice!
So what are some other feelings that we women tend to chase? Well, off the top of my head, without digging too deep in my old trunk of junk, I can come up with a couple more feelings that continue to tap me on the shoulder as if to remind me that they are always around. How about the feeling of acceptance, feeling like you fit in and belong somewhere with someone? Too much chasing of this feeling can lead to loneliness which can spiral down into the pit of depression. Instead of chasing that feeling, which is really a need because we weren’t created to do life alone, pursue the characteristic of being accepting by looking out instead of always in. In other words, get out and smell the flowers; do what you like to do with you! Become the type of person you’d like to hang out with and then reach out to invite someone else out for coffee, to go shopping, to have lunch, to exercise, to scrapbook…you get the idea! Whatever activity you enjoy, just do it!
How about the feeling of being understood? Now that one not only keeps lurking over my shoulder but is constantly screaming in my ear. I have to consciously choose to chase being understanding and flick that need/feeling to be understood away. I’ve actually learned – and I am still learning — that pursuing the characteristic of understanding others keeps me clear of the battlefield of trying to be understood, for I am focused on the other instead of myself. The funny thing about that is the more I understand others, the less I need to be understood!
If we look back over these “feelings,” we can see that they all have a couple of things in common. First, they are needs within us, which isn’t a bad thing; we just may not know the recipe and be trying to put too much of the wrong feelings in. Another thing they all have in common is that if these needs/feelings are not replaced with their opposite characteristic, they become insecurities within us. When they become insecurities within us, then they are given the reigns for many of the choices that we make in life. In other words, these feelings/needs are given too much power in our lives! It is much better to dance with a characteristic than it is to chase a feeling!
I’m so glad that the chase has ended and has been replaced with chasing the characteristic of self-control, which means “meekness within, with restraint, to hold one’s self back”! Love it! I’m no longer chasing my tail; no, I’m chasing new beginnings.
There are many other “feelings” out there but let me ask you, what “feelings” do you catch yourself chasing? Please feel free to share them by leaving me a comment and/or emailing me at Evinda@chicklitpower.com