Thanks for joining us for our Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power. Oh, my goodness there’s all kinds of changes happening within our ministry; some have been painfully challenging and some have been seemingly easy…but change I know is for our good and His glory. Grab your coffee and your SOF and let’s go talk a bit more about some of the most difficult types of changes.
The third most difficult change is a change in a relationship, such as getting married or a marital separation, or conflict with what was once a good friend or family member. Conflict…hmmm, why do we have to talk about conflict? I hear you asking! Because conflict can bring good change, or bad change, depending upon the way we handle it!
See, conflict is usually because emotions get in the way and cause friction between people. The sad truth is the conflict may have begun over something small but the longer it stays unresolved, the bigger it gets! Often times, conflict sucks the energy right out of us because we conflict over who’s right instead of what’s right!
But let’s, just for a moment, look at the positive side of conflict that we may utilize it to bring positive change in our hearts, our families and our world. Conflict surfaces important problems so they can be addressed. Conflict can also cause us to give careful consideration about important decisions. Conflict can also cause us to reconsider a decision, especially those decisions that were made without thinking or made in the heat of a moment. And finally, conflict provides opportunities for creativity, especially if you are conflicting over truth!
Did you know that there is a win/win solution to conflict? Let me give you the two ways in which both parties can feel a sense of winning in the midst of a conflict and in this way you can both bring about a positive change: Both parties need to recognize that something is wrong without pointing fingers, which requires information gathering before making judgments. Let me see if I can use this analogy: A treating physician has to do the lab work, assess the medical problem, before coming up with a diagnosis. In other words they don’t just grab some Advil to treat cancer! See, conflict can be like a cancer, poison to the soul and fast-spreading! Stop it in its tracks and take a good look into all sides of it before throwing your hands up and your relationships out! See, not to spiritualize conflict, but listen to what Rom 12:18 says about conflict: If it is possible and to the extent that it depends on you, live at peace with….
The second way to achieve a win/win in the midst of a conflict would be to come together and collaborate ; this forces us to deal with what’s true, not with what’s false, and not that emotions are false, but they certainly are not anything to depend upon, and they most definitely need not be why a relationship is thrown away!
So when conflict threatens to change your relationship(s), remember to strive towards a win/win solution to reach connection so as to not disconnect and bring negative change!
Thanks for joining me for the third toughest change that can truly send us tossing and turning in the sea of life, especially if our well being is a bit too dependent on someone else! Remember, for things to change, I must change and as Mahatma Gandhi says, “You must be the change you wish to see in the world” or in your relationships!