Every Day That Goes By… Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power

Welcome to Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power, and thanks so much for coming by. I was going to continue on with our “A Psalm a Day…” series, but just recently a sweet friend of mine lost her mom, and her story breathes reality into the need of loving the unlovable/difficult people in our lives. So I thought it would be a good time to refresh our hearts and minds about loving those unlovable/difficult people because every day that goes by is one less day to do this and there’s no time like the present. For those of you who are coming by Coffee Hour for the first time, I am confident that the truths in these steps will resonate within your heart. Grab your coffee and come on in.

My husband and I were on our way home from seeing his mom just last week – she suffered a stroke a little over a year ago, and just recently had a bad fall. She goes in and out of lucidity, mostly in, but there are times when she too can be very difficult, but the sweet thing is my husband is realizing he’s got to make her a priority, not just for her sake but for the sake of no regrets when she is no longer with us. So anyway, we were just about home and a fairly new friend of mine called. She got right to the point and said, as close as I can remember: I just want to thank you for helping me with my mom. She fell yesterday and is now on life support. I could hear her choke down a sob. She went on to tell me how grateful she was for having come to our loving the unlovable/difficult people workshop and how much it had helped her relationship with her mom.

My heart was squeezed in a bittersweet sort of way as we talked for a few minutes more and she filled me in with the details. We ended the conversation with a tentative plan to get together to pray the following day. The next morning she sent me a text. Her mom had passed hours earlier. The pronouncement of her death took my breath away as I groaned out a sob, but in the minutes to follow, I was filled with a sense of thankfulness as I realized that my sweet friend would not have to wrestle with the regret of not loving her mom in the end.

What about you? Is there someone that you care about but you don’t really like? Well every day that passes is one less day to love that unlovable/difficult person in your life, and if that person happens to be a family member, the regrets cut deeper when their life ends without your love.  Here’s 10 steps to help:

1: Make a list of your unlovable/difficult people. “Get better at loving…”

2. Take 1 at a time and write down three words that describe why that person is     unlovable/difficult, in YOUR opinion.

3. Share your list for accountability purposes. Must be someone you trust – He’s always a good choice!

4. Review those three words from Step 2. Now take a look in the mirror. Do any of those three words describe you at times? Could it be that you like that person less when you are acting just like them?

5. Send her/him a card – Keep it real. Use humor. Laughter always helps.

6. Detach with love – learn to separate the person from the attitude/fault/flaw…

7. Let go: When you think of this person, what is the first thing that comes to mind? Are you still hanging on to your own bitterness, frustration, et cetera?

8. Review, remind and rewind. This step can be used as a springboard on to the next person on your list.

9. Don’t judge them; pray for them. (And even if you don’t believe, you still don’t hold a gavel!)

10. Remember, to give what we want to receive, we must become what we want to attract!

If you’d like more details on these steps, we do have an audio CD from the “Loving the Unlovable/Difficult” workshop. Just email me: Evinda@chicklitpower.com

A big hug and thank you to you, Pam, for truly breathing even more life into these ten steps. May His arms hold you whenever the pain of your loss overcomes you…



P.S. We’re back on the air today with Blog Talk Radio at 1:00 Pacific Time. Just click on the “listen to my weekly podcast” link to the right.;)

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