Welcome to our Faith-Filled Fridays and John’s perspective…it is such an insightful thing to be able to almost see inside the heart of another, which is how John writes. Grab your favorite beverage and join him for a powerful faith-filled Friday!
I have been playing the piano more and more lately as my camera officially lived its last days. Photography and music are things in me which bring me a sense of peace. They are artful expressions and they have been a huge part of how I have sought healing in my life. Photography was something I picked up after my best friend/dog Bella passed away. Shooting photos has been part of therapy with PTSD. It has created a flowing of understanding and answers within me, sometimes long before I ever had the most naked question.
So there I was, practicing my scales upon the piano and I felt an impact. I felt words from out of nowhere crash into me. The words: “Bitter to Better” hit me like a freight train and my hands felt motionless upon the keyboard. It was surely a moment and a God-sent epiphany. I really needed them and their healing revelation they delivered.
Many times in life when I feel a rising bitterness start to germinate and move through the weed-filled soil of my soul, I can feel it pierce through where it seeks to photosynthesize and grow into something I care not to hydrate, bare nor carry. To do so could be natural and normal for the world we live in. It’s a cruelty that is extremely taxing to not only carry for others… but also myself. Bitterness is surely a weapon of mass destruction within one’s own spirituality. I once said something to someone many years ago and I saw the pain it caused them in their eyes… it didn’t only hurt that person but it hurt me and I suspect it hurt God as well. It was such a huge price to pay. I could not bear to carry this powerful hurt I caused another and it almost felt as though I had stoned myself with my own anger, bitterness and words.
That was a huge day in life for me. A place I often find myself being tested from. It takes not only prayers but solid dedication to not become a person that becomes bitter and stays that way. You see, anger and bitterness at first do not break through to the light to photosynthesize because it is more at home in a cold darkness. In this darkness one can become lost and soon the heart, mind and soul follow.
Bitterness can not only cut us short of who we seek to be, but from the love we yearn to feel and give back to others. Trust me when I say no balance will ever be found within hurtful emotions, not for others, nor for self. Sad is the anger that fills one with a false sense of power and instead an emptiness that consumes one from the ability to ultimately let go and love life completely.
So what does it all mean? I think the sum of it all just might be this: Sometimes we must endure a finish line we never sought in the first place but perhaps when we pray, we train our minds to be muscles of reflex for positive thinking, and let our heart’s be just vulnerable enough to feel we can also see that the other side of that line is actually a new starting line, a new fresh beginning… For me it’s the place where bitter moves to better and hurt moves to HEALING…
Even as I write this, I dare myself to step over that line… sometimes all we need to do is start moving our fingers once again on the piano…
On your mark, get ready, set, GO!