Fears are like . . . From Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power :)

Welcome to Coffee Hour at Chicklit Power and thanks for taking time out of your day to join me for more of this true story that has turned into one of the most amazing revelations ever revealed to me, one that I hope to keep alive for a long, long time, especially being involved in a ministry that is dedicated to helping others reach their Destination? Joyful! ™ Grab your coffee and let’s get back to the beach. 🙂

When I returned from talking to the girl, Janine asked me what had happened and I told her. The guy in charge of taking the reservation slip took Joe and Janine’s and they were off walking toward their kayak. George started to walk forward and all I could say was, “I can’t do it.”

“Yes, you can.” He continued to walk toward the guy.

I’m not going,” I screamed all three words for emphasis.

He turned around and headed back toward me, and he didn’t look happy. I heard him tell the guy that I was chickening out. He seemed a bit irritated with me but my fear was consuming me so much I didn’t even have the wherewithal to tell him off. When he got within a few feet of me, all I could think of saying was, “What if we tip it over?”

“This was your idea,” he reminded me. “I can’t believe you got us all the way down here and now you don’t want to go.”

By now, tears were threatening to spill over and out of my eyeballs any second and that got him away from himself. He hates to see me cry and if it’s something he can fix, well he’s the man for the job. He began to caress me with his words instead of harass me. “I won’t let anything happen to you, baby.”

I stopped shivering momentarily and he pointed to one of the workers helping a couple get in the kayak and out into the waves. “They’ll help us get over the first couple of waves, honey, see?”

I watched the guy helping the young couple into the kayak. He stood behind the kayak and sort of held onto it as if to stabilize it for them as they got into it and then he held on and gave them a shove out into the wave coming their way. He actually made it look pretty easy.

“See, honey; we won’t tip over,” George assured me.

“All right; I’ll try it. As soon as the words came out of my mouth, I regretted it and when George had picked out our kayak, I backed out again. “I just can’t do it,” I nearly screamed.

I don’t know if it was the look on his face or if there was some hand that pushed me from behind, but suddenly I felt myself walking forward and toward him. He grabbed one of the guys who helps people get in and pushes them out and asked him to give us a hand. “I can’t do this,” I repeated, frustrated that he was ignoring me.

“You’re going to be fine. I’m not going to let anything happen to you, now get in the front.” The next several minutes were like a big blob of blur. I got in the front and my whole body began shaking uncontrollably. We were moving and George wasn’t in the kayak and I began screaming like a young terrorized child. “No, I Ca– — cant do th– — this.”

“Calm down” was all I heard from the back.

I strained to turn around but the guy echoed George’s command. “Stay calm and look straight ahead and lean back a bit.” From the front, I was hearing waves, really loud waves; and I was seeing the white o f the waves and they were way too close to me for my comfort.

I screamed again. “ I wa– — WANT OUT, gasp, gasp. Let — gasp, gasp — me — gasp, gasp — OUT. I can’t — gasp, gasp — do THIS.” I was literally gasping for air and I could feel the veins in my neck pulsating but my heart was beating so loud and hard, it felt like my voice and heart were in competition to outdo each other and I didn’t care what veins were popping out or how I looked. I was frightened beyond my wildest imagination, beyond my remembrance of my worst nightmare. This was a different kind of frightened – or was it?

No, it actually wasn’t. I realized that I had felt this same fear when I was out there all those years ago, being tossed to and fro by the strength of the waves, rolling over and over and over until I lost consciousness.

Oh, for sure I was a goner now! I mean there I was screaming like a toddler having a royal fit, only this was way worse because I’m supposed to be acting like an adult and I absolutely did not care who was staring at me. In fact, I never even gave it a thought. As I look back on it now, blogging about it, at least I can sort of giggle at the thought of what I must have looked like to anyone watching out there! 🙂

Strengthened by Him,

Evinda

 

Be Sociable, Share!

Tags: , , , , , , ,

One Response to “Fears are like . . . From Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power :)”

  1. Jan Bachelor says:

    Yes, I can hear your terrified screams resounding in my mind right now. My Momma was also taken under by the rip tide when she was a young girl. She always had great fear of even learning to swim at all after her experience. She would panic when water came over her head even in a pool. I remember her being tortured by my Dad for her terror, but by some act of God, she would go ocean fishing, and ride in our little dingy boat. She really never totally overcame that fear, but she, I believe, had more faith in God protecting her then in her panic. Wow, she was an amazing woman, my Momma.