I Want to Fly Like an Eagle-September’s WOW-From Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power

Welcome to Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power and welcome back to the conclusion of “I want to fly like an eagle,” our title for this month’s WOW (words of wisdom/weapons of warfare.) Grab your coffee and come on in. I was just bending down at my stepson’s feet while watching him openly cry.

My mother’s heart took over and I reached for him and he let me. I wrapped my heart — I mean my arms around him as he sobbed and I rubbed his back and just kept telling him we were going to get through it. When he finally pulled away, I went and sat down by George and we listened as he shared the junk that he’d been going through and holding on to. He admitted to needing help in letting go of something he’d been doing for a long time and he knew if he moved in, that would help him get on a straighter path.

What really got me is when he started sobbing again, saying that he’s never left her; she’s always been the one to leave him and all he wanted was some sort of normal family. I felt as though someone had taken the wrench to my heart. How desperate we all are for love and my stepson was/is no exception. His pain is proof of the hole left in him years ago that has left him determined not to quit and has kept him going in this unhealthy cycle. “I just want my son with me,” he kept sobbing.

Now those words in and of themselves are a huge answer to one of our prayers, which was that he would rise to be the dad that God created him to be, and yet, we know he needs to become the man he was created to be, which we know God can work simultaneously. George and I didn’t hesitate in saying that would not be a problem; we would find childcare and make it work and we started coming up with a game plan that was immediately all but forgotten when he explained some more consequences for other circumstances in his life. We came up with a new plan, taking the consequences one at a time.

He definitely left our home that night lighter than when he walked in, actually admitting to having hope for the first time in months. When we walked back in and closed the door, the reality of it all set in, I have to admit, my flesh took over and I began to think of all the changes and how they are going to affect us, our home, our marriage, our entire life! Tremors of anxiety hit me like a huge earthquake and the aftershocks keep coming, throwing me to my knees in prayer as I realize how selfish I’ve become, having my husband all to myself, now knowing I’ll be sharing his time and attention with his son and within a few months, our grandson. How will I ever get through this and how in the world can I handle another thing on my already full plate?

My flesh and spirit have been having a tug of war. My spirit reminds me that “Those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint.”(NKJV)   We have some mountains to climb and some obstacles to soar above before we can get little Brydon home with his daddy. I say we because though these are my stepson’s issues and problems, we are family and that is our first ministry. Oh, how I long to pass this test and soar through this trial with wings like an eagle instead of my head down in defeat and my heart full of complaints. His Word says I can as long as I hope in Him.

What about you; what trial are you needing to soar through? We can either grovel or fly. Father, give me wings . . .

Soaring in His love and grace,

Evinda

 

 

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7 Responses to “I Want to Fly Like an Eagle-September’s WOW-From Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power”

  1. Jan Bachelor says:

    Trials are just part of this human earth realm we are strive in. Anticipation of “what ifs”, “how can”, and “I don’t want to be in this position.”, are all the stuff that stress comes from. We try to look ahead to all the scenarios that could possibly happen and those that are really way-out-there in fantasy land. The truth is, we don’t have a clue about the turns that the future holds. No way we can CONTROL anything outside ourselves. We just give it to Jesus and trust that He has a total perfect plan for us because truly we are under the wings of God who soars for us. If it were my choice I would stay in the nest forever! Ha

  2. admin says:

    Hmmm, me too! That sounds safer!!!
    Love you

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  7. admin says:

    Dear Kurtis,
    Thank you for joining Coffee Hour!
    Blessings,
    Evinda