If I could have coffee with God… From Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power-More answers to why bad things happen to good people . . .

Welcome to Coffee Hour and thanks for joining me! We’re still digging and searching for some answers to the tough question “Why do bad things happen to good people,” a question that has turned into a series within the series, “If I could have coffee with God …” So on that note, grab your coffee and go to that quiet place so we can seek Him for more answers for ourselves as well as my sweet friend who is in great need of some answers. 🙂

So where were we? Oh, yeah, that’s right. We talked about God hearing the cries and prayers of someone who seeks Him with their whole heart, and if we are doing that, then He will hear us and we can come boldly to the throne of grace in time of need. If you actually stop and think about that, when I’m really there with Him, I don’t imagine that I’ll be so bold. 🙂 But then again, I can’t imagine how I’ll be, can you? 🙂

Anyway, I told you we’d get back to my friend’s story and I shared with you that her life got happy, for a minute. A couple of years after giving her child up for adoption, she became a Christian and gave her life to the Lord, “thinking that He would take care of me forever,” she says. Then she met and married her husband and “In 1972, life was good; husband was good and I thought I was on a very good path.” STOP! We passed a diamond that won’t stop sparkling. Follow me. 🙂

Oh, do I ever remember the pattern of coming to the table, aka a relationship, with a bunch of junk in my trunk hoping that the newest relationship would prove to be more than a distraction. Sad to say, I did that more than once and each time was more devastating than the one before, until my heart was one shattered mess. 🙁

I’m so blessed that through the gift of grace, I have been taught that we can’t come into a relationship wounded, hurt and disillusioned and expect to become whole. That is not only unrealistic, but it is unfair to the one you’re in a relationship with because it really does take two complete halves to equal a whole. And talk about taking something bad and doing something beautiful with it, all of that has been used and will continue to be used in my writing/speaking adventures! 🙂

Unfortunately, though, many of us have bought into the lie that it’s too painful to deal with wounds of the past, so we set out to feel good and bury the wound, but that woundedness has more power over our lives than we realize. It leaks out into our most important relationships, our career choices, the way we socialize, or not, and on and on. That is what I see happened to my friend who is sick and tired of bad things happening to good people. Her unresolved wounds leaked out into all areas of her life. Let’s get back to her story.

She went on to share with me that “Little by little, the path began to erode.” The things that happened were definitely painful. Her mom moved to Oregon without telling her she was going to do so — there really is an inner child in all of us that never stops hoping that we will be accepted by our mother and/or father, or that they will change, or that they will love us. The list of hopes is endless — and to top that wound off, 15 years into her marriage, she learned that her husband was doing terrible drugs. Ouch!

As I relive her past, I can’t help but be blessed and honored at His sovereignty that has allowed me to befriend her and love her despite her negativity and difficult disposition. Oh how I remember that pain when I discovered that my son’s dad was doing drugs. And talk about disillusioned! But I do understand, so much better now than then, that people have choices, and good people get affected by people’s bad choices.

Anyway, she thought that God was just testing her to see how much she could handle on her plate. I don’t believe God tests us with other people’s mistakes and bad choices, but I do believe He uses them to sharpen us, to refine us, to grow us and to become even more intimately real in our lives, IF we let Him. He truly is the only one who can take something so emotionally ugly and turn it into something spiritually beautiful. 🙂

I’ll try and wrap her story up on Wednesday, but don’t forget to join me tomorrow for “The Night After… The Bachelorette” blog. UGH!  🙂  🙁  🙂

Join us today for Blog Talk Radio, our “Destination? Joyful! Show, Unpacking the Junk One Piece at a Time,” 1:00 Pacific time. If you can’t join us then, just click on “listen to my weekly podcast” link and you will land right in our show so you can download it onto your IPod or just listen at your leisure.

Smiles to you! 🙂

Evinda

 

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