Jeff’s Java Hour @ Chicklit Power

Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power...

Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power…

Well, guys, I have got some news for you; now this may come as a huge shock to you — I know it did to me — but did you know that you cannot figure God out?! I know; why is it that we try to? So let me tell you how I think I’ve finally come to the realization that I better stop trying because His ways are just not my ways! See, I recently moved to Austin, Texas and by sheer, blind luck, call it coincidence – I just can’t figure it out –I ended up living literally next to the woman who was going to be my boss.

Now, to me, I was thinking, “Wow, God! That is so amazing. For sure, this job is going to be the one!” I mean, He orchestrated it so that she lives right next door to me, guys! NEXT DOOR! Well, to make a long story short, the job fell through and for reasons I don’t want to get into, I will not be working where she will be my boss. And to make matters even worse, I still haven’t found a job and believe me, I have been looking like a crazy man.

Honestly, with each day that goes by, my depression has deepened, leaving me wondering what the heck! I thought He brought me out here to be the provider for my family! I thought I had a job. As I think back to how perfectly everything had worked out up to this point, I can’t help but feel a bit disillusioned. You know, when you think you have God figured out, or His plan for you, and you misread it, whew, that’s a higher kind of low! Something else I’ve been able to learn from this entire mess: there’s no peace where depression lies and His ways are not mine! [Isaiah 55:8]!

Every time I replay the scenes in my head, it’s a form of torture. I mean, down to the finite detail of my potential future boss living right next door – something we didn’t know until we were moving in on our first day here. And when it came time for the final interview, it was a slam dunk! I even met everyone at the restaurant that was going to be mine and they liked me! They were even going to start me out $2 more an hour than the normal starting pay, and still, my boss lived next door to me. I was convinced that God must have aligned this job for me, but He didn’t.

I know that there is some reason for it but I just don’t know what He’ll make of it, or why He chose to work it out this way, or when He will give me that job, or where will He take me to work. All I know is I need some help in my unbelief, believing that His plans is to lift me up and to prosper me [Jeremiah 29:11] is grating on my trust nerve but I’m trying to sink my teeth into this Biblical truth.

Sometimes I feel like an ant, trying to look up and figure out why the giants of the world do what they do. That’s kind of what we look like when we try and figure out God. Trying to figure Him out is kind of like putting Him in a box, and that says a lot, or a little about our faith! That realization was a huge blow to my spirit these past two weeks. By the time you read this, I will be going into another interview for another job at a utility company. I’m super excited about it but would covet your prayers as I have no idea what tomorrow holds or where my job is!

God, please lift me up. I have sinned in my anger and I have fallen short in my depression. Please, God, I need you. Don’t ever let me go. Please give me at least a glimpse of your grace so that I may know that everything will be okay.

Jeff's Java

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One Response to “Jeff’s Java Hour @ Chicklit Power”

  1. Jan Bachelor says:

    Okay Jeff, you will be OK. God has a plan for you and your job. He is making a way where it appears there is no way! Hang tough, Jeff, He has heard your prayers!!!!! Love, Nanny