Jenn’s Journey

Good morning my friends.  We had a big weekend here at our house where my daughter and I both celebrated turning a year older! Isn’t it funny how excited kids are about birthdays and us adults let out a heavy sigh at yet another year gone by on the calendar? I usually find myself on memory lane at this time of year…grab a cup of coffee and join me.

I’ve had a basket of what I’d call junk sitting in my room for about a year. I’ve needed to go through it and decide if there is anything worth keeping. I knew there were some things in there from childhood and teen years. A couple of days before my birthday, I decided on a whim, to look in it. I found a diary I kept in my freshman and sophomore years of high school. Oh, the teenage angst! I had to laugh at some of the tidbits in that book. On the other hand, it was eye opening.

It seems I spent a lot of my time worrying about boys. Worrying what so and so thought of me, or if a certain someone would like me back. Wondering if I measured up, looked good enough, and if my affections were not returned, crying over what was wrong with me. I am certain I was a typical teen, but what jumped out at me was how focused I was on finding happiness in another person. Or maybe I should call that, looking for my self-worth in the opinions of others. I saw the patterns in myself that I am still working on changing…and I am happy to say, I see that I’ve grown up a lot, thank God! It was fun to see how parts of me are the same too.

Some would say that looking back is unnecessary. We live in the now, don’t we? The past is the past. You can’t change anything so why waste the time thinking about it? Not many hours after I read through that diary, I saw a post on Facebook, reportedly by Joel Osteen that says “The Life in front of you is far more important than the life behind you.”

As some of you know, I’ve been attending the trench classes called Transform, taught by Evinda. These classes focus on the eight roots of wounds, weaknesses and worries. It’s an in-depth look into the past, focusing on where we’ve come from while pointing us to the One who can heal the wrongs of the past. While I agree with the quote from Joel above, I have to say that I believe we must look back in order to have a more fulfilling life ahead. If we do not do this, we are doomed to repeat unhealthy patterns we’ve been taught. Looking back exposes the things that led us to those patterns in the first place. We might need to grieve events of the past…pray over things, and forgive people who wounded us. Unless we spend this time with ourselves and with God, it’s difficult to move ahead in life and relationships successfully. Looking at and learning from our past enables us to live successfully in our present!

Once we’ve resolved things in the past, or at the very least, surrendered them to God, we are in a much better place to enjoy the present, while looking forward to the future. Perhaps this is what the verse in Philippians 3:10-13 is talking about,” I want to know Christ—yes, to know the power of his resurrection and participation in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death,  and so, somehow, attaining to the resurrection from the dead. Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already arrived at my goal, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me.  Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.”
Until next week, be blessed,


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One Response to “Jenn’s Journey”

  1. Jan Bachelor says:

    You are right that we review our past and learn from it. But the key is that we DO NOT linger there and just observe, not set up for full scale tour. It formed who we are now, and shall teach how to go forward with in sight. We just never want to spend too much time staring at those waves that have gone to sea and are no longer. We are surfing on new water now for sure!