Hi and welcome again to Monday’s blog and coffee time! I am happy you are here and thanks for reading some of my thoughts.
This past weekend was Mother’s Day, as we all know. It’s a special time to recognize mothers and all they do! While some would argue we need to do that all year, and I tend to agree, it is nice to have a day set aside for an extra reminder. Same for Father’s Day coming up in a few weeks!
This year I was reflecting on my own motherhood and the journey it has been. I will forever be grateful for the opportunity to mother my sweet little daughter. She has brought so much into my life. She is extremely creative and imaginative, which has made me tap into that myself; it’s helped me remember my own imaginative days. Why did I lose that? I think as I grew up, I let too many other things that take the place. My daughter wakes up happy most every day, which has been a total inspiration for me, the non-morning person! That influence has perhaps been one of the biggest life changers for me…seeing that sweet, happy little face first thing is so joyful. Her ability to communicate her feelings and bounce back from disappointments is amazing. I am blessed.
There was a time in my life when I did not think I would ever be a mother. The fact that I am is one of the biggest answers to prayer. The journey was not without pain though and that is what I want to share with you today. I was married for 10 years, five of which were spent hoping to get pregnant and have a baby. Infertility is a much talked about issue nowadays, and I have many friends who have faced it. The sadness and grief it causes is very complex. As women, we expect that it will just happen, and for many of us, we may have spent years of our life preventing it until the right time. Once you decide you want to have a baby, and month after month brings disappointment, it is a very difficult season to live through. To top it off, I did not have any emotional support at home so it was a very lonely time for me. The marriage was extremely lonely as it was and there were some days I had no idea how I would keep living that way.
I cried out to God a lot in those days. I went through the emotions of wondering what was wrong with me; why is this happening to me? After several years of trying, I had begun to accept that perhaps this was not my lot, and began to think of what else would fill my life. We had talked some about adoption but had never seriously pursued that option, and I had long ago decided pumping my body full of hormones and fertility drugs was not for me.
Though often I gave up hope, a verse I found once stayed in my mind as a small beacon of light: “He settles the barren woman in her home as the happy mother of children.” (Psalm 113:9) I wondered many times how/if God would do this for me!
My life changed instantly one night in June of 2008 when a friend from Washington called me to tell me about a baby she knew was going to be up for adoption in just a few months. The more of the story she told me, I realized that I knew the people she was talking of; they were friends and neighbors of my sister here in CA!! I get chills when I think of how God orchestrated this situation. To make a long story short, we made contact with the parents, and because they knew us they immediately said that we could have the baby.
The following two months were spent going through all the proper channels to be able to bring her home and on August 7th, 2008 that beautiful girl was born. On August 9th — my birthday!!!! — she was placed in my arms and I became a mom. I had no idea of the road that was before me but I knew that God had answered my prayer. He had indeed turned five years of barrenness into a unique and beautiful story.
God answers prayers. He has His own timing. Someday I will look back on the twists and turns of life as I do on those difficult five years, and know I would not have it any other way. Some days are hard, some weeks and years are too, but through it all, He listens and He walks through it with us. When His answers come, they are right on time!
Until next week, be blessed