Loving the Unlovable-Step 3 From Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power

Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power...

Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power…

EL pen Logo with heartThanks for joining me for another Cup of Grace for the Day! When we allow Him to pour into us, we are able to love the unlovable/difficult people in our lives. Let’s get back to Step 3.

So did you think of someone you can share your list with? I did and it’s my husband. I just smiled as I wrote that because the first time I wrote this series, I wouldn’t have dreamed of sharing the list with him, and no, it wasn’t because he was on it – or was he? He does hop on and off periodically, but I now know that is “normal.” It becomes unhealthy if he stays on that list!

So we have discussed that finding someone to share our list with requires a level of vulnerability, but it also requires that we lay down pride. What’s in the middle of pride? That’s right, “I”! Laying down pride and letting Him reside is what it takes to admit to something that may reveal a not-so-positive fact.

Here’s a little diamond to help sparkle some light of reasoning on the need for accountability:

Guilt leads us to accountability; shame is a lack of transparency. Accountability brings us to freedom, and points us to our need for a Savior, while shame, a lack of transparency, keeps us locked up inside! Why is it we tend not to be so transparent about our struggles and weaknesses?

Think of some forms of accountability available to you right now. How about church attendance? See, His Word will never come back void, so that could lead us to accountability, if we allow it to and become doers of what we hear, not just hearers of what we hear. How about a small group Bible Study where you share your struggles as well as the lessons from the Word?

All right; let’s keep moving in this series before I begin another one! 

We’ve identified who those unlovable/difficult people are, whether one or ten by writing them in your journal here or in a separate one. Don’t forget to leave a line or two in between each name, and leave room to add more names. That’s right; because it’s not unusual for this list to evolve. After all, many people are in your life but for a season and some are in for many seasons, so before they evolve off your list, wouldn’t it be awesome to be able to say, “I learned how to love that not-so-loveable person”?

There is not one person in your life by accident, but I hope, as you work through these steps, your list will decrease as your ability to love increases. You will understand why and how that can even happen within the next few coffee hours so hang in there.

The second thing to do to help you in learning how to love the unlovable is to look at each name and allow your mind to wander to the last couple of interactions you’ve had with this person and then write down the first three adjectives that come to mind. As I am re-writing this series and bringing it current, I just realized that one of my unlovable and difficult people was second on my list and she has now moved to first place! Most of our interactions are now kept to surface stuff, but three adjectives that come to mind whenever I see her, let alone try to have a conversation with her are: loud, bossy and angry! Wow, those are similar to the adjectives I chose for my biological mom way back when. It is going to be interesting to explore this as we get further into the steps.

Oh, don’t you wish that we could twitch our nose and presto! We are able to love these unlovable/difficult people and not let them get on our last nerve! But, because of the tent of flesh we live in, the challenge to love others is real and we do need a form of accountability. So did you find someone to share your list with yet? If you’re struggling with that, I have a suggestion: Look up. He’s waiting for an invitation to this process.

Encouraging you in the journey,


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