Loving the Unlovable-Step 4-From Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power

Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power...

Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power…

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Loving the Unlovable

Step 4

Whew, our last coffee hour was a bit grueling, but freeing, don’t you think? The fact that you are continuing confirms that He is with you and encouraging you in this process. I am excited to be on this journey with you, on our way to Destination? Joyful! ™ I wish I could see you face to face in our Coffee Hour! Grab your coffee and let’s go and talk a little more about Step 4.

The digging we did in that last step wasn’t easy to do; at least it wasn’t for me. I’ll never forget the splash of perspective and emotional pain I felt when the revelation and truth of being just like the first unlovable/difficult person on my list penetrated deep into my heart. But I can say this: As it illuminates, and we walk in its light, we are closer to freedom, just as John 8:32: “You shall know the truth and the truth shall set you free.” (NKJV) Another truth that I’ve learned to live by is actually the title of a book I read years ago “For Things to Change, I Must Change!”

Another brilliant spark within these truths is as long as you work on you in this process, that unlovable/difficult person no longer holds the same power over you! Sure, they may remain on your list, as a couple of mine have, but if we work these steps, they will move down the list instead of up, and the chances of them moving off the list increase when you continually practice loving the unlovable.

Yes, Step 4 does require some honest reflecting into your own character, and doing this will work like a mirror reflecting what needs to change in you. Most of the time, you will see yourself staring back at you through those descriptive adjectives. Remember, a lack of transparency translates to shame, and walking with shame is not abundant living!

There may be an occasional time when that powerful realization of the need for change doesn’t come to fruition. Then what do you do? You could list three more adjectives for that unlovable person, and see if those fit. Something tells me they just may.

For many of us, it is so much easier to focus on the flaws and faults of others, especially if you have a tendency to avoid your own emotions, as well as the emotions of those with whom you have relationship. Jesus knows about this weakness in each of us. Let me tell you why I say that:

In Matthew 5, Jesus escapes the multitudes and heads up to the mountaintop and His disciples follow. It is during this time that the famous “Sermon on the Mount” is given. There are so many priceless life lessons in the couple of chapters that follow without any sort of break in between. I wish I could have been up there with them but at least we have the recordation of it. In Chapter 7 He teaches them and us about not criticizing and/or judging others.

As I re-read this chapter in Matthew, and the footnotes, I can actually

the Book that teaches us how to love the unlovable!

the Book that teaches us how to love the unlovable!

imagine Jesus looking out to His disciples and chuckling as He tells them “And why do you look at the speck in your brother’s eye but do not consider the plank in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me remove the speck from your eye’; and look, a plank is in your own eye?” (NKJV)

He knows that the things that bother us about others are often the things we dislike in ourselves and that it’s so much easier to magnify the flaws and faults of others while minimizing our own. He even said it twice; He wants us to get the picture and seriously, if you visualize this illustration, while it’s humbling, there is humor. Our God loves us right where we are and encourages us to do the same with others. That’s grace and to whom much is given, much is required!

Smiles and hugs,


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