Loving the Unlovable-Step 5 From Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power

Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power...

Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power…

EL pen Logo with heartLoving the Unlovable

Step 5

Welcome back to our time of learning how to love those unlovable, difficult people in our lives! We are making amazing progress and I just didn’t want to stop that progress right in the middle with our WOW for April, so we’ll keep going through these steps and when we’re done, then we’ll get to the Words of Wisdom for April, which I have a feeling will be a nice bow on this series! Grab your coffee and come on in.

I have some good news for you: Step 5 is definitely less intense and can actually be fun, depending on you!

In today’s technologically growing world, receiving a card in the mail has taken on powerful significance. No matter how busy I am, how down in the dumps I might be, or how happy I’m feeling, when I receive a card in the mail just because or to thank me for something, I stop in the moment and let its sentiment squeeze my heart.

Can you imagine how much more powerful the impact would be if you received a card from someone you thought didn’t like you? Think on that for a moment. Did you ever stop to think that maybe, just maybe, that unlovable person wants you to like them?

Now I realize that sending a card may not be something that you would ordinarily do. That’s okay; still try it. Remember, you’re working on making you a better you so that unlovable person can move on down and off your list!

Now, the card could be a humorous one. Laughter is so good for all of us. It could be a “Just thinking of you” card and you could add some simple words such as, “Hope this brightens your day,” or “Just wanted you to know you are in my thoughts” – you don’t have to tell them they’re negative thoughts!  How about, “Hope this makes you smile.” That’s an honest statement. I could go on and on with some examples, but do you get the picture?

Chances are if they are on your unlovable list, you may know a little bit about them, their likes or dislikes. For example, do they collect certain things? Are they pet lovers? Anything involving animals makes for such a great ice breaker! Whatever little thing you know, you could take that and apply it to this step of sending a card.

The first time I did Step 5 with my biological mom, I actually had to do some digging to discover some things that she liked because those things lay buried under the negativity. I actually did discover a couple of things, one being she loved to play solitaire first thing in the morning to wake her brain up. So whenever I went out of town on a vacation, I would buy her a deck of cards as a souvenir and then send them to her.

The first time I did that, my unlovable negative mother, whom I can be just like, called me to thank me! I’ll never forget hearing the smile in her voice! It was that smile that reminded me that things and people are never as they seem and I really didn’t know her as well as I thought I did. That realization alone was enough to begin the work on me and expect less from her.

When we take the focus off the negative we see in others and put it on the possibilities with Christ, our perspective will change. Try it; you may be pleasantly surprised, but – yes, there’s a “but” – check your motive. Don’t expect anything in return. The true gift lies in the lack of expectation! It’s okay to hope for a response, but if they want to stay tuck on bitter or resistant, let them. Can you just hear, “Bitter, party of one, your table is now ready”? Don’t join them at their table! Just know that your gesture does plant a seed and all seeds need watering. Try to do something the following week, such as text them a short message, or send another card, or calling when you know they can’t answer to leave a kind message. Pray for opportunities, and watch the doors open . . .


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One Response to “Loving the Unlovable-Step 5 From Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power”

  1. Jan Bachelor says:

    Great idea for Step 5. It’s a heart thing that reaching out. Even if you never find out if it made an impact of a yea or a nay. It doesn’t matter, because your heart was doing it’s thing and how they receive it is up to their own heart. Love the Step 5!