Nana Holds-from Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power

Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power...

Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power…

EL pen Logo with heart

So glad you could make it today for our Coffee Hour and more of Nana Holds. We are right smack in the middle of this 30-day trial with Bryce home, and in some respects, I’m doing all right on the stand, and in others, well, let’s just say my seat got a little too hot a few times! Grab your coffee and let’s go chat about how to struggle through when someone is projecting their struggle on to you.

Let me start with a God-wink, a gift that He gave to Bryce within a week of being home on his 30-day vacation from his new “job.” George had told the owner of the company that they both worked for that Bryce was home on a vacation – no need to tell them why – and would be willing to work while he was here so as to begin chipping away at the huge amount of money that Bryce owed them. The owner thought about it and albeit hesitantly at first, agreed to put him on a couple of jobs while he was home.

One evening we were all hanging out in the living room and something came up that steered the conversation towards Bryce’s restitution and George and he began to pick up with a conversation that they had obviously started earlier in the day. They had decided that when Bryce had to return to court, which was about thirty after re-entering T.C., if the court asked if restitution was satisfied, that George would take care of it – just FYI, we’re talking over $5,000! Not that the amount should matter!

Suddenly, right on cue with my emotions, anger being the dominant one, a hot flash came bursting through and began to spill down my back nonstop, almost as if someone had attached the hose to a faucet and turned it on ever so slightly and stuck it down the back of my shirt. Well, water don’t travel upward, so I’m sure you can guess where it traveled and I couldn’t just sit there, still! I was livid but holding my tongue and Bryce was beginning to pick up on that and acknowledged me: “It’s not in stone; it’s just something that we’ve been talking about.”

I looked at him, pushing my anger down to a level less seen, my emotions still somewhat turned up to intense level – which I’ve since learned he

Precious moments with his cousins!

Precious moments with his cousins!

hates and I’ve toned it down – “I don’t have a problem helping you, Bryce. The problem comes in when you two are having this conversation before your father and I have this conversation.”

I let my words linger and prayed he would understand because it was obvious that my husband didn’t.

Let’s stop right there so I can explain a couple of things I’ve learned since this situation which actually held so many diamond-like lessons. Again, though, let me reiterate, I am in no way trying to point fingers to either my husband or my stepson, rather share with you transparently what God is teaching me through each of them because it’s not what they did or how they behaved that has eternal value accounted to me, but how I behave, respond or react will all be talked about when I get there.

Right about now in this hot-flash moment, I’m feeling very left out, disrespected and financially walked on. I’m also feeling completely exasperated with my husband who for reasons unknown to me up to this moment continues to choose not to communicate with me. Now, just because I “feel” those things doesn’t make them right; but these are the emotions that were playing tug-of-war with Christ in me!

Let’s finish our time today talking about these emotions. Have you ever felt what I’ve just described feeling? If so, how did you handle it? Please, feel free to email me and we can have coffee over your comments.

Filled with hope,

Evinda

Nana Holds!

Nana Holds!

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