Nana Holds from Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power

Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power...

Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power…

EL pen Logo with heartThanks so much for stopping by today. I promise it will get a little happier here soon so stick with me as we get closer to wrapping up Nana Holds; and stand by for more of life’s valuable lessons in months to come as He prepares me to share Nana Prays! Grab your coffee and let’s get back to coffee with my girlfriend.

I stared at her, my heart overflowing with gratitude that despite me, she was learning something incredibly valuable about God! And how funny it was that God had allowed me to be used in her life in some of her darkest moments, and now He was using her in mine! Yes, one of God’s most precious gifts He gives us is relationship. I was sort of dumbfounded by the irony of it all.

Her words echoed in the hallways of my mind, spilling comfort over into the depths of my heart: “Well, He’s not going to leave you now. He’s brought you this far. It’s just another change.”

“I definitely know that, friend and” – the ringing of my phone collided into the end of thought.

I looked at her. “It’s him.”

She motioned for me to answer it.


“We’re on our way!” His enthusiasm tugged at my heart and I couldn’t help but smile, but only a little bit. It had been a long time since I had seen or heard such happiness, such life in his voice and I certainly didn’t want to rain on it with any level of bitterness.

I looked at my watch. It was already almost 12! “So where did you want to eat?” I asked him.

“Where are you right now?”

“I’m with Joanne at Starbucks by the freeway.”

“Let’s meet at Red Robin.”


“I’m starving like Marvin,” he laughed at himself.

I couldn’t even think of eating at the moment, but I didn’t tell him that.

“Invite Joanne to come. I haven’t seen her in a while. It will be fun.”

His childlike enthusiasm pulled at the strings of my heart again and I smiled because I had missed that part of him for so long.

Joanne had heard him, too, and she was shaking her head vehemently.

“I don’t want to interrupt in your family time,” she whispered for my ears only.

“So what time do you want me there?” I asked.

“Well, we just left Santa Ana, so let’s say 12:45.”

I agreed and then asked to talk with John for a second. He came on the phone and I congratulated him for his release and confirmed God’s hand in it. He sounded relieved but otherwise pretty non-emotional, which I had learned by this time didn’t mean anything negative from him; it is just part of his makeup. After we said good-bye and I hung up, I felt as though I was the one with dual personalities: how could I be so torn but still be so kind to this person who was in so many ways still more boy than man? Would the things I learned while he was home for those thirty days stick? And what about all that I’d learned the entire almost two years? Would we continue to build the foundation we started with the little bit of conversing we had finally engaged in? Would the respect continue to grow? And then there was George and our relationship. Would he ever value me just as important as his kids? Would he learn to confirm his convictions with them and for them?

I sat back in my chair, willing myself to just stay in each moment, to not mind-screw the future to death and rip myself off of any lesson I needed to learn. Joanne and I shared a comfortable silence, each of us lost in our own thoughts.

Finally, I looked up at her and re-invited her to lunch.

She repeated her desire to not intrude on our “family” time and I assured her she would be doing me a favor, sort of helping me ease into this new lane of change. With that, she agreed and I told her I’d pick her up at her house in a half hour.

My confession of needing her help must have triggered something because she changed her mind and even offered to pick me up from my house in a half hour. She wanted to go home and change, and so did I. There was no need to stay in my workout clothes. I needed to make an effort at looking happy, even though my heart was not quite there.

We’ll resume with more of the ending of Nana Holds after our WOW next week. Join me tomorrow for Power Friday.

Reminiscing with thankfulness,


Nana holds . . . in her heart

Nana holds . . . in her heart


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