Nana Holds-from Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power

Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power...

Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power…

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Thanks for joining me today and taking time out of your busy life to just stop and shut out the cares of this world. Grab your coffee and let’s get back to more of Nana Holds.

Do you have a tendency to be gullible? And I’m not referring to a great joke, or even pranks people play. No, what I’m speaking of and this assessment is speaking of is denying hurts, habits and hang-ups of others.

Oh, my friend, I have to admit, I am still way too gullible. I do have a tendency to believe the best in others, and that’s not a bad thing. But when it comes to a level of denial, that’s where this symptom can add to the infection in an incredibly detrimental way and at a speed that will make your eyes water with speed-induced blurriness, in more ways than one.

At the time I stood before our friends of CPM on February 23rd, I could freely admit that in my past, beginning with my first husband, I was blindsided by my own issues that interfered with the reception of all the warning signs. In fact, I was

Nana Holds 2-23-13

Nana Holds 2-23-13

as clueless as a bug entering a web spun by a spider. Never in a million years did I imagine that he was a drug addict. I’ll never forget how I found out that major truth, either, but not until almost seven years into the marriage! Wow, talk about someone swimming up the Denial River!

I continued swimming up that river while single-parenting my son, who at the age of twelve was learning how to romance drugs and later on, in high school, he, in his own ignorance and gullibility, was completely taken in by drugs and I was devastated. And each time he came out of rehab, I believed the best in him, starting over with a clean slate, as Christ tells us to do, but my denying enabled him in ways I didn’t know.

You might be saying, “What’s wrong with that?” Well, nothing, really, that is as long as you don’t ignore all the other warning signs. One key that I wish I would have learned easier is the truth that a child needs a parent first, not a friend! I was afraid to really “parent” my son for fear of him not liking me. That’s the condensed version and there’s much more that goes into that, but hopefully you can relate in some way with this scenario.

God tells us to show grace, but He also commands us to pray for wisdom and discernment, to train our kids up in the way of the Lord and when they are old they will not depart from Him. Now I always like to add, they may wander, but . . .

website mission statement cloud 200xWhen we are actively pursuing Him, He will prepare us for the things we need to know to avoid swimming up and down the Denial River. I know this to be true because as my relationship with Christ developed, I remember suspecting certain things, especially having to do with my son’s drug use. Instead of acting on it right away, I would pray for Him to reveal it. And you know what? He did. I partnered with the best Father ever to help me in parenting my son in his later teen years. I believe with all my heart that is why he eventually did return!

But that is not to say that since being in this amazing relationship with Christ, I haven’t reacted before praying when I suspect something about someone, anyone for that matter, i.e., someone talking crap about me, someone keeping something from me, someone lying to me. I’m sure you get the gist; I mean, I’m not inhuman and though I have tougher skin now, three years into writing and ministry, I still have a tender heart and I do cry when offended!

Sometimes I need to remind myself that I can’t stop anyone from doing anything, that if they are on the tracks and the train is coming, headed straight for them with some sort of train-wreck of a battle, I cannot play SuperWoman and go rescue. People are going to do what they will and my responsibility is not to rescue them from their consequences, neither is it to pretend it’s not happening, but to pray for wisdom and discernment to know how to navigate through the stormy waters and to continue to show them the love of Christ. We need to get our head and heart out of the sand, look up and give it up!

So, take a minute to see if you have a propensity to be gullible, especially when it comes to excuses from others in the midst of suspicions. Before I leave you today, let me share an acrostic for the word “denial,” which comes from the Celebrate Recovery curriculum. Denial . ..

Disables our feelings

Energy lost

Negates growth

Isolates us from God

Alienates us from our relationships

Lengthens the pain

Praying that the eyes of our hearts will be opened …

Evinda

Nana Holds!

Nana Holds!

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One Response to “Nana Holds-from Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power”

  1. Jan Bachelor says:

    Gentle as lambs and wise as serpents. Discernment of things in the Word and in this life take time, wisdom, understanding, and knowing when to “hold’em and when to fold’em”. It’s like me reaching out to every TV commercial that “promises” miracle age reversal or incredible weight loss and control. Yep, been duped over and over again, but I never give up because someday it could be the answer to all I believed. People are like that too. We reach out with an open heart and a guarded trust and feel our way through the “30 day trial” to find out our perception was misplaced and our venture of trust bent. But, “buck up boobie”, cuz’ we are going to try, try again. Maybe we actually learned something from that “30 day trial” and will be more observant but still open. Going forward, always seeking because out there is “one” that is for real!