Nana Holds from Coffee Hour@Chicklit Power

Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power...

Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power…

Thanks so much for joining me for a coffeeEL pen Logo with heart break and more of this true life-changing season that is drawing to an end, but leading into a new beginning. Grab your coffee and join me.

We didn’t really settle into our new reality right away. As I look in my journal, my entries remind me of that time of rejoicing. Apparently I was experiencing more peace and joy than I remember, at least according to this entry on Monday, Memorial Day:

Wow, what a full day we had yesterday. Father thank you for the joy you fill my heart with, your sovereignty blows me away. You are bringing me to a place I’ve never been. Thank you! Oh, if I could just stay behind the veil and worship, stay right here with you.”

That was evidence of growth, but why and in what way? Well, George and I had not established any sort of rules to live by for John, things we expected of him and from him as a member of our household. I do remember the anxiety I had over this issue, the fear that was threatening to take the steering wheel and drive my emotional car . . . right off a cliff!

Instead, I was learning to rest in Him, and not expect things from my husband that he just wasn’t capable of giving at this time in his journey.

With John’s homecoming came a freedom to participate in a role that God had prepared for me two and a half years prior, but one that I was unable to embrace for several reasons: the main reason was HE still had a great work to do in me before He chose to work through me in this role.

This season of Nana Holds was one of His most sovereign, awe-inspiring, painful but necessary surgeries He’s ever performed on and in my heart to prepare me to embrace the role of President of CPM, a “title” He gave me three years ago but one which I did not embrace with all of its responsibilities until shortly after John’s homecoming.

But then again, I was unable to embrace it because of the things that needed to be peeled back, revealed and healed, and thereafter, what/whom I wanted to embrace was this amazing little boy whom God had used and continues to use to squeeze lots of junk out of my heart and fill it with a love I had never experienced.

I am amazed how the season of Nana Holds and the new one following merged into one to make my present flow with new life, new love, new lessons, lessons that began just one week after his homecoming.

Join me tomorrow for more of this journey

Evinda

Nana Holds

Nana Holds

 

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