Nana Holds from Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power

Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power

Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power

EL pen Logo with heart

Welcome to Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power and to the longest blog series ever written! So glad you could join me for a little break. Grab your coffee and come on in.

The only way I can describe the first three months of this year is a crazy cycle! On one side of the see-saw, I am feeling good about all that I am becoming, all that I am leaving behind in this journey with Bryden. I marvel at the God-given love and patience with which I am able to handle most things coming my way. My heart is becoming lighter; however, there’s the other side. On the other side of the see-saw are the marital struggles appearing on a regular but unannounced schedule!

You may be wondering why I’m even talking about them. It’s a real simple answer: the struggles, even our marital struggles, are part of the story and a story is not complete if you leave out chapters. This is a painful but real chapter, one that I will have to break up because of the depth of pain. Some may call it midlife crisis – I often wondered if that didn’t have something to do with it 🙂 — but there was/is so much more to it.

Oh, how I wish I could have had a clearer picture of the problems contributing to all our conflict while I was painfully struggling in it. Suffice it to say, all I knew and understood as I was enduring through the consistent conflict are these

Papa Smiles

Papa Smiles

things: My amazing husband was weary and burnt out with his job, in dire need of a change. He was definitely suffering with depression in his work life, and I knew he wasn’t happy with his home life and he considered me to be a big contributor.

I was powerless to change his mind… and willing to remain powerless, part of my freedom from that relationship infection, co-dependency. How could freedom hurt so much?

Just when I’d feel like going under, about ready to beg Abba to take me home, He would work through Bryden to remind me He was still the Surgeon and I was still His patient. There were moments of reprieve, though, and those too often involved this little gift of a boy. Like driving to school, almost lost in my thoughts which usually were swirling around the things I thought I needed to accomplish that day, and all of a sudden, his little voice would pull me out of my deep thinking.

His singing “KSGNnnnnn” pulled me up and out. And then just as I was starting to go back to my thoughts, his little sweet voice pulled me out. I shook my head completely shocked with what I was hearing: “Bwess da Ward oh my soul . . .” I joined him in his song, thanking God for the reminder of our first ministry right there in our car on the way to school. Yes, God had ordained our marriage for such times as these . . .

Join me tomorrow for more.


Nana Holds!

Nana Holds!

P.S. Join Steve and me today at 1:00 Pacific time for our Blog Talk Radio Show on Co-Dependency, learning to recognize the symptoms, and stop the infection before it ruins your relationship(s)!

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