The list goes on-From Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power and the series, “Why do bad things happen to good people?”

Welcome to Coffee Hour@ Chicklit Power and thanks for sharing this time with me. Grab your coffee and let’s return to this list from my friend who is understandably frustrated, but blaming it all on God. Let’s go to a quiet and comfy place for more answers to why bad things happen to good people.

Getting back to my friend’s list/summary, I must admit that much of what is on it has been on mine in the past, and possibly yours as well, which is why I can understand the root of a lot of her disillusionment and her feelings of being abandoned by God. Unfortunately, from her perspective, everything that’s happened in her life has led her to this conclusion. As a matter of fact, her opening paragraph on her summary reads: “When I became a Christian in 1970 and gave my life to the Lord, thinking that He would take care of me forever, I had no idea that all these many years later I would feel so betrayed and left behind.” WAIT!

My friend actually has a sense of humor because right after that she says, “Wait, isn’t that a series of books?”It was kind of an oxy-moron to read such a painful sentence and then get that little funny clincher at the end there.

Let’s get back to the developing root. So she was pushed away off her father’s lap, consistently told she wouldn’t amount to anything or anyone and she says that she did not do well in school and she believes because she was always being compared to her sisters, but especially her sister born two years after her. STOP!

I think one of the worse things we can do to ourselves is to compare ourselves to someone else, especially a sibling. That kind of root can get so big and ugly it would take an act of God from the throne to do what only He can do. The truth about it all is when we begin to compare the various things that we tend to compare to others, such as houses, cars, clothes, job position, love life, measure of success – which is defined differently by one’s perspective — we have changed the direction of our focus. See, when we’re not looking vertically, but instead looking horizontally, we run the risk of not just bumping into jealousy, but full-on dancing with all its partners, bitterness, anger, hatred and rage. I love dancing, but not with those partners! 🙂

We must remember that things are never as they seem and we have to quit connecting the dots. No matter whom you compare yourself to, I guarantee you their world isn’t perfect and they have their own struggles. So the sooner we get our focus back on the blueprint for our own life and relationship with Him, the sooner we can enjoy our own ride through this life. Speaking of ride, let’s get back to my friend’s list. 🙂

She mentioned something else pretty significant: She says that she “felt” like she never fit in, anywhere, anyplace, anytime. She then goes on to assure me, or her, that she had friends, but to her they were “fair-weather” friends. In other words, they didn’t stick around. But here’s the interesting sentence that comes right after that: “My father was a tyrant who did not allow anyone to enter into our home and my mom did not know how to raise kids and be a mother to her kids.” STOP!

The Word is replete with examples of generational cycles. DETOUR AHEAD! We’ve got to take this detour to understand something VERY important in our own chronological history that encompasses our spirituality as well. Follow me!

A cycle is defined as: “a course or series of events or operations that recur regularly and usually lead back to the starting point.” So to get right to the point, there are numerous generational cycles: addictions such as alcohol, drug and sex addictions to name just a few. And then there are medical conditions/cycles such as diabetes, different forms of cancer, to name just a couple. And then there are many mental disorders: bipolar, multiple personality disorder, depression disorder, to name just a couple.

Much of what we suffer through can be traced back to a starting point and once we understand that, we have the choice to break the cycle and be free but it’s almost always never easy! Let me use a very personal and painful example to explain this a bit more. My mom was an alcoholic most of her life and one of the many tragedies of that disease was that the cycle was passed down to all of us. Now, I have never had a problem with alcohol, but I have definitely had my share of struggles with other addictions. Unfortunately, my sister chose not to break the cycle of alcoholism/addiction and she drank herself to death just three years ago at the age of 50! Talk about tragedy! 🙁

Now let’s bring this detour back to my friend and her mother and father. I’ve known her to be a very caring parent with a heart full of a mother’s love so I know in that regard, she broke the cycle but the fact that her father was probably fathered by a “tyrant,” and her mom didn’t know how to parent her children is a cycle that has spilled over into her life and influenced her in her own cycles.

Yes, she has chosen to break these two cycles — she has never been a tyrant to her kids and she has chosen to parent her kids — but the painful memories involving her dad being a tyrant and her mom not being a mom still have had a lot of power and influence over many aspects of her life. I should let you go because I know our time was a bit longer today, but I hope you can see the whole cycle analogy and recognize that we must get to the root of things in order to break free from them.:)

We’ll pick back up with this next week as we continue with her list and dig for answers to that tough question of why bad things happen to good people.

Have a happy day,

Evinda

 

 

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5 Responses to “The list goes on-From Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power and the series, “Why do bad things happen to good people?””

  1. Carter Zermeno says:

    Very nice info and straight to the point. I don’t know if this is in fact the best place to ask but do you guys have any idea where to get some professional writers? Thank you 🙂

  2. Jan Bachelor says:

    Your insight and ability to break down and thru peoples walls is amazing to say the least. Can’t begin to tell you how enlightening this blog is for many of us reading it!

  3. admin says:

    Jan,
    what a way to put it: breaking down and thru, love it. I really needed to hear that cuz this series has really gone deep:)

  4. I have been examinating out some of your stories and it’s clever stuff. I will make sure to bookmark your site.

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