Tuesday’s Trench Lessons 4 Life

Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power...

Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power…

Happy Tuesday, my friends. Grab your favorite beverage, and possibly something to nibble on while you join me today. As my sweet friend Kim-Evinda says, I am going to try to be transparent today.

My mom wanted me to watch a movie with her called The Holiday. There is a story line where a woman from England is on vacation in LA to get away from a man she is “in love with,” that got engaged to another woman. You with me so far? Well, this woman meets an old movie writer on the street. He tells her that in the movies, their encounter would be called a meet cute. Actually, he explains that since they aren’t romantically involved, it “isn’t so cute.” He compares a lot of actual life to stage directions and scenarios in the movies. Later in the movie, when she is telling the writer about this man that she is in love with (who has just been taking advantage of her throughout their whole “relationship”), he tells her this:  “In the movies, we have leading ladies and we have the best friend. You, I can tell, are a leading lady, but for some reason, you’re behaving like the best friend.” She then replies: “You’re supposed to be the leading lady in your own life, for God’s sake!”

When I first heard that line, I immediately thought of my life; who wouldn’t, right? I thought about the times when I have allowed others to make me feel small and insignificant. I thought about my first marriage, when my husband cheated on me, made me feel like I was inadequate sexually, and then told me the divorce was my fault because I couldn’t communicate properly. I allowed this man to just run me down! I acted like the best friend in this situation. Next, I thought of my second significant relationship. The father of my third child was someone whom I had barely known, but who I quickly fell in love with, or so I thought. After I was pregnant with our son, I discovered he was married!!!! I realize that there was a lot of naiveté on my part in that situation. Nevertheless, this older man proceeded not only to run me down, but to pulverize me! I remember feeling like just a scrap of a person. Total best friend behavior!

Then, I recalled the early part of my second marriage. My husband had cheated on me, but I recall that I didn’t really allow myself to react; after all, this is how all relationships went, right? I certainly didn’t feel good about myself, and I definitely did not feel like the leading lady! Through lots of prayer and healing, my husband and I got passed the infidelity, and grew to be a strong family. I feel as though my husband has been the leading man in his life, and helped me to act like His leading lady because of HIS (Christ’s) love for me! You heard me right; yes, I said his leading lady. I have married this man, and we are sealed for all time and eternity, so I have no problem saying I belong to him, and he belongs to me. That was a foreign concept coming from a single parent home, but I have embraced it!

Now, there is a whole other side to the spectrum, my friends! It is bad to have best friend behavior when you should be the leading lady, but what about leading lady behavior when you should be the best friend? I tend to be just a tad bit on the controlling side *cough, cough. I like things how I like them, and I prefer to be in the lead. This is not always the most popular attributes to have 24/7. Sometimes I need to let others lead. Sometimes, I need to accept that I cannot have it my way. I always need to accept that it is not always going to be like I envisioned. I need to allow myself to take the back seat, or at least the passenger seat (baby steps!) We read in Jeremiah 29:11For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you a future with hope .”  The Lord has planned greatness and blessings for us. The only people that can get in the way of that are ourselves! I struggle daily with giving my life to the Lord, but it is something I strive for. May we all work at turning over our wheels this week and learn when to be that best friend and when to be the leading lady in the movie of our lives!

God Bless you all


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