Why do bad things happen to good people? From Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power and the “If I could have coffee with God . . .” series.

Welcome to Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power and thanks for stopping by. We are having a sort of coffee hour with God, asking for some answers to some really tough questions, so if this is your first time, feel free to look over the previous blogs on this series that has actually developed into a series within a series! 🙂 Grab your coffee and let’s go to that quiet and comfy place while I share some of my friend’s reasons she’s mad at God and blames Him for all this bad stuff happening to her, a good person.

As I begin sharing about and responding to this list of hers, I want you to know with your heart that I am in no way minimizing her pain or making light of all that’s happened in her life. Notice I didn’t say to her, but rather, happened in her life? That’s actually a key in understanding why bad things happen “to” good people. It’s a matter of perspective. 🙂 But I haven’t always had this perspective; it has been learned.

Let’s get back to my friend. Since our meeting the week before last, I’ve read through her list several times and my initial responses and thoughts have been strengthened each time I read through it. What struck me as important is the order that she wrote these “bad things” and I can’t help but wonder if the order has some sort of significance in her innermost being.

That may not seem important to anyone, but often, what comes out first isn’t the root. Moreover, much of what covers the root is exactly that, a cover to sort of protect the root from being pulled out. That’s the crazy thing about the evil one. He lies like a rug and convinces everyone that dealing with old wounds (roots) is just too painful so you should just carry on as though they never happened and keep it in the dark — with him! 🙁  Man would I like to sucker-punch that punk! 🙂 Hmmm, we could all sucker-punch him when we come to an understanding about this and get rid of those old wounds/roots.

Getting back to my friend, I’m going to reveal the root of bitterness that has had her whole life to grow, being nurtured by the next bad thing that happened. When you add bitter to bitter, you don’t get better! She shared in her what I’ll term “summary” that she was the eldest of three girls. Her two sisters were the “best, prettiest and smartest,” and she said that she heard every day that “she would never amount to anything,” that is until she was 17 and left. STOP!

Ouch! Words are so very powerful for they have the power to lift up and encourage, and yet, they have the power to destroy and tear down. I know we can all relate to that truth. Another truth is we’ve not only been on the receiving end of either encouraging words or discouraging words, but we’ve also been the one to offer words to encourage and in anger, we’ve torn others down with our words.

Being told daily that she would never amount to anything, I would be willing to bet, is why my friend has pursued so many degrees, aka, a search for significance. (Two or three Master’s) I know as a child, the verbal abuse that my mother lashed out in her drunkenness held a destructive power over me for years until I learned in my daily time with Him that He doesn’t make anyone do anything. In other words, we all have choices!

Another very powerful truth is that He doesn’t want the kind of power over us that in any way insinuates that we are His robots. He wants us to choose to use words that lift up and encourage and ultimately build up His kids, aka His church, instead of words that tear down and discourage.

It wasn’t His will that her parents constantly gave her the message that she wasn’t good enough. I know that for a fact because I’ve learned that. But let’s stay with my friend’s summary. 🙂

Here’s another very painful root that tends to overwhelm her life with the color of bitter, and I’m going to quote it just the way she wrote it: “I was pushed away from my father’s lap – there was only room for my two sisters. I was also pushed away from my mother. She did not know how to raise children and be a mother to kids.” STOP!

Can’t you just see a little girl fighting for her father’s lap, and there’s already a little girl on each knee, no room for her! 🙁 How many times have we had that same type of feeling, feeling left out? I don’t know about you, but I’ve had it too many times to count, but here’s another truth I’ve come face to face with and it’s been so healing for me: There’s room on my Heavenly Father’s lap for you and for me! 🙂 Our earthly parents may have let us down – often because they too were caught in a cycle of dysfunction – but our Heavenly Father never will.

Join me tomorrow for more answers and solutions to help us overcome bad things happening to good people.




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