Happy to be Sad #2 From Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power

Welcome to Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power, and welcome back to this bittersweet series. Grab your coffee and come on in.

Thursday passed by in such a blur, filled with updates for my brothers and sister, dealing with Medi-Cal paperwork, checking on Mom’s apartment and kitty, keeping her neighbor updated, and the last thing we did was go in for an X-ray of her lungs at 8:45 at night. I had to convince her she needed it and she objected all the way up until the transport. I was actually a bit nervous because she was overdue for her Librium and getting a bit fussy, but within a few minutes of the guys wheeling her down several halls, into a service elevator and up to the scan room, I relaxed and actually smiled inside as I listened to the three of them bantering back and forth, their laughter echoing in the elevator, laughter that she had brought out in them.

Yeah, that was the first sign I had of my mother’s pure wit, and though I was caught up in exhaustion, I did catch that glimpse of humor in her. And there was something else too – She was actually quite sweet and gentle with them.

Anyway after the scan, we got her back in her room and it was about 9:30 at night. My brother and his wife had arrived. I let go of a huge sigh of relief and hugged them both while they got my mom situated and comfortable again. We stood out in the hall talking for a few minutes while I updated them with her progress, which had been minimally forward. I told them I had fed her the broth and Jello, and she had eaten most of it. She was still so weak and frail and that weakness and frailness went a long way in convincing my brother that she could not return home; that she needed to be in some type of assisted-living place.

We went back in the room and she was fast asleep. I kissed her on the forehead, told my brother I would be back late the following afternoon and left for my drive home. I was exhausted but hopeful and ever so grateful for the help of my brother and his wife. This was my prayer Friday morning for her: “Father, please, reveal, peel, and guide the care for healing that would promote wholeness in and with you. Please don’t allow her to return to her vomit.” As I write this, my eyes are blurry with tears as I realize that He heard my cry, and He definitely did not let her go back to her alcoholism and unhealthy lifestyle. I just never imagined He’d answer it the way that He did.

Friday came and I found myself missing her, really missing her. I haven’t had that feeling since I was a little girl in MacLaren Hall and waiting for her to come and get us out and tell us everything would be all right. It just goes to show you that there is a little girl inside each of us and hope never dies as long as we’re alive.

I called my brother that morning. He told me that he had convinced Mom to sign the paperwork necessary for yet another test, which was a scan to reveal if she had a gastric bleed, something common in alcoholics, which could be the cause of her anemia. She had actually had the test earlier that morning, so I didn’t wait until late afternoon like I had planned to. I got there around lunch time, actually while my brother was feeding her, and making a bit of a mess, I might add. Women just do some things better than guys, and then guys do many things better than girls.

I also found out that morning that my sister was coming up later on that afternoon, and my brother had decided to fly out from Washington, so we were headed for a family reunion without any planning, but this was going to be another opportunity to be together and hopefully more comfortably. The only reason I say that is because we didn’t’ grow up together and there’s a lot of stuff that got in the way of true relationship. I know for years, I was the reason I didn’t have a relationship with either of them, because to see them brought all the painful junk back. I’m so blessed that He’s brought me through that!

The funny thing is if you were to have come in the hospital room later that Friday night and seen us all carrying on and laughing, you never, ever would have suspected that there truly was so much water under the bridge at one time! God is good all the time. Come back tomorrow for more amazing moments that make me happy I’m sad.



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2 Responses to “Happy to be Sad #2 From Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power”

  1. Sherrie says:

    My dear friend. God is so good, and for me, it is difficult at times to have to go thru the storm to find the rainbow. May you find many rainbows thru this recent pain and storm you have endured!
    God Bless you this coming new year, Loving hugs,


    Nice, i’m loving it. 🙂