Posts Tagged ‘addictions’

Internal Tug-of-War from Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power

Thursday, February 6th, 2014

The Internal Tug-of-War

I say then: Walk in the Spirit, and you shall not fulfill the lust of the flesh. For the flesh lusts against the Spirit and the Spirit against the flesh and these are contrary to one another so that you do not do the things that you wish.Galatians 5:6-7

Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power...

Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power…

EL pen Logo with heart

Oh, it’s great to have Coffee Hour with you today and share from my heart to yours. I pray that the tug-of-wars we witness today will resonate in your mind, body and souls and help you let go of the rope and allow His Spirit to pull you into victory! Grab your coffee and join me in the front row of some tug-of-wars.

I just had a thought: tug-of-wars are inevitable, but they are also avoidable. In order for there to be a tug-of-war, there has to be a volunteer!

Let me introduce you to the participants in this tug-of-war and I hope you can try to get a mental picture: You, or I, and our flesh/desires, tangled with our emotions which have buried our spirits, are on one side of the rope; and The Spirit is on the other end of the rope. The participants are always the same, namely the flesh, and The Spirit, but the tug-of-wars, or the battles, may vary.

Look around. I don’t know about you, but I can see family members, friends and co-workers in all sorts of tug-of-wars, all different in intensity, all the same battle: flesh versus Spirit. Some of the ropes are super thick, and some, not so thick. You would think that the longer the tug-of-war goes on, the thinner the rope. Not so! The longer we feed our flesh, the more it cries out for more! It’s a never-ending, never completely fulfilled being and the more you feed it, the more it takes!

The flesh and the emotions tend to fight and pull on the rope using the same methods: longings and lies, taunting the spirit that is buried with words that threaten the self-esteem, poke at the delusion of control and all in search of acceptance and perfection. And they do it so loudly so as to drown out the voice of The Spirit on the other side of that rope in the tug-of-war.

To the right there are the tug-of-wars with addictions, all kinds of addictions to things that feed the flesh but have also ensnared the emotions, convincing one that the need is greater than the ability to let go. Wow, there’s the rope of food, alcohol, prescription drugs, illegal drugs, pornography, power, money . . . the ropes go on, threatening to pull us in at any moment.

How can we avoid that tug-of-war? Well, I must say that everyone has participated in a tug-of-war, voluntarily or involuntarily. But how can we stop picking up that rope, feeding the flesh? We must heed the call of deep crying out to deep. His Spirit beckons our spirit to join forces and win the battle over flesh.

Oh how thankful I am for the promises that remind us this tent we live in is temporary: For we know that when this tent we live in – our body here on earth – is torn down, God will have a house in heaven for us to live in, a home He Himself has made, which will last forever. (1st Corinthians 5:1 Good News Translation)

What if we were to treat the cravings of our flesh as a labor pain where we know they are going to continue to strike but we breathe and pray through them, not even picking up the rope to participate in a tug-of-war?walkinginspiritpic

I would venture to say that then, you are walking with The Spirit and your journey has just become easier! But when you do find yourself in a tug-of-war, remember that deep cries out to deep; His Spirit will empower you to let go and join forces.

Entwine my spirit with Yours, Abba Daddy!


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Nana Holds-from Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power

Friday, September 13th, 2013
Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power...

Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power…

EL pen Logo with heart

Thanks for joining me today and taking time out of your busy life to just stop and shut out the cares of this world. Grab your coffee and let’s get back to more of Nana Holds.

Do you have a tendency to be gullible? And I’m not referring to a great joke, or even pranks people play. No, what I’m speaking of and this assessment is speaking of is denying hurts, habits and hang-ups of others.

Oh, my friend, I have to admit, I am still way too gullible. I do have a tendency to believe the best in others, and that’s not a bad thing. But when it comes to a level of denial, that’s where this symptom can add to the infection in an incredibly detrimental way and at a speed that will make your eyes water with speed-induced blurriness, in more ways than one.

At the time I stood before our friends of CPM on February 23rd, I could freely admit that in my past, beginning with my first husband, I was blindsided by my own issues that interfered with the reception of all the warning signs. In fact, I was

Nana Holds 2-23-13

Nana Holds 2-23-13

as clueless as a bug entering a web spun by a spider. Never in a million years did I imagine that he was a drug addict. I’ll never forget how I found out that major truth, either, but not until almost seven years into the marriage! Wow, talk about someone swimming up the Denial River!

I continued swimming up that river while single-parenting my son, who at the age of twelve was learning how to romance drugs and later on, in high school, he, in his own ignorance and gullibility, was completely taken in by drugs and I was devastated. And each time he came out of rehab, I believed the best in him, starting over with a clean slate, as Christ tells us to do, but my denying enabled him in ways I didn’t know.

You might be saying, “What’s wrong with that?” Well, nothing, really, that is as long as you don’t ignore all the other warning signs. One key that I wish I would have learned easier is the truth that a child needs a parent first, not a friend! I was afraid to really “parent” my son for fear of him not liking me. That’s the condensed version and there’s much more that goes into that, but hopefully you can relate in some way with this scenario.

God tells us to show grace, but He also commands us to pray for wisdom and discernment, to train our kids up in the way of the Lord and when they are old they will not depart from Him. Now I always like to add, they may wander, but . . .

website mission statement cloud 200xWhen we are actively pursuing Him, He will prepare us for the things we need to know to avoid swimming up and down the Denial River. I know this to be true because as my relationship with Christ developed, I remember suspecting certain things, especially having to do with my son’s drug use. Instead of acting on it right away, I would pray for Him to reveal it. And you know what? He did. I partnered with the best Father ever to help me in parenting my son in his later teen years. I believe with all my heart that is why he eventually did return!

But that is not to say that since being in this amazing relationship with Christ, I haven’t reacted before praying when I suspect something about someone, anyone for that matter, i.e., someone talking crap about me, someone keeping something from me, someone lying to me. I’m sure you get the gist; I mean, I’m not inhuman and though I have tougher skin now, three years into writing and ministry, I still have a tender heart and I do cry when offended!

Sometimes I need to remind myself that I can’t stop anyone from doing anything, that if they are on the tracks and the train is coming, headed straight for them with some sort of train-wreck of a battle, I cannot play SuperWoman and go rescue. People are going to do what they will and my responsibility is not to rescue them from their consequences, neither is it to pretend it’s not happening, but to pray for wisdom and discernment to know how to navigate through the stormy waters and to continue to show them the love of Christ. We need to get our head and heart out of the sand, look up and give it up!

So, take a minute to see if you have a propensity to be gullible, especially when it comes to excuses from others in the midst of suspicions. Before I leave you today, let me share an acrostic for the word “denial,” which comes from the Celebrate Recovery curriculum. Denial . ..

Disables our feelings

Energy lost

Negates growth

Isolates us from God

Alienates us from our relationships

Lengthens the pain

Praying that the eyes of our hearts will be opened …


Nana Holds!

Nana Holds!

Nana Holds from Coffee Hour @ Chickilt Power

Monday, July 23rd, 2012

Coffee Hour!

Thank you so much for joining me today for a little break and more of “Nana Holds.” Grab your coffee and come on in.

Let’s see, where did we leave off? Oh, that’s right, in our living room, reminding Bryce that he needed to deal with the root of the habits because just changing locations won’t make the problems go away.

Looking back on that time now, I honestly believe he wanted to come home because, first, he wanted help; and, second, he believed that coming home would make it easier to break the habits that were threatening to ruin his life and take away anything and anyone important to him.

So, we set a tentative date for him to come back home, just two weeks later. I remember breathing a sigh of relief, thankful for a couple more weeks of our carefree life and marriage. I know, that sounds a bit selfish so I won’t even try to hide it behind more words; however, I will say that I began to pray in earnest over this situation. Not that my upcoming suffering and sacrificing could compare in any way to our Christ, but I did sort of repeat some words that He cried out to His and our Father before enduring His crucifixion; I asked Him for an escape and I confessed my fears about how Bryce’s coming home would affect our marriage; but I have to add, and then I surrendered to His will, not mine.

Two weeks later, when Bryce was supposed to be moving back home, he called his dad and told him he needed another week. I don’t even remember the reason he gave, just that he would be moving in the following week. I remember feeling a check in my spirit that collided with more relief, some guilt over that relief, but again, an ultimate surrender to His will.

That week turned into another week, and then another and we actually began to think he had changed his mind; and then, low and behold, I came home one day to find our garage looking a bit cluttered and stuff in the entryway, the hallway upstairs and I heard the sound of dresser drawers being opened and closed – loudly, I might add! 🙂

Join me tomorrow for more of this transition leading to Nana holding baby Bryden.


Back to Single by Evinda Lepins

The Book that started it all is RELEASED!


P.S. Don’t forget to join us today at 1:00 Pacific time for our Destination? Joyful! ™ show, Unpacking the Junk one Piece at a Time. We are discussing co-dependency, its signs, symptoms, what it is and what it isn’t! Join us

P.S.S. It’s my oldest grandson’s birthday! Seven years ago today, Dillan made his entrance into this world and made my world a better place. Happy birthday! 🙂  I love you, my little Dill! 🙂

Five Ways to Succeed in Life and Love-Step 2- From Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power

Thursday, March 22nd, 2012

Hey, thanks for stopping by for our coffee hour and more on “Five Ways to Succeed in Life and Love.” We are still on the second step, but hopefully, I can wrap it up today and we can move on to step 3! 🙂

So I gave an example of something not so good that we unknowingly commit ourselves to, and yet there are so many other things. The reality of it is that if we have some bad habits, hurts and hang-ups, subconsciously we’ve committed to them; they don’t just appear. For example, addictions range in size and substance, but are never physically, emotionally or spiritually healthy for us and yet, the more we feed them, the more committed we become to them. These are the kind of commitments we need to break free of!

Take a few minutes and think about this: What are some things that we unknowingly have committed to that aren’t so good for us? Please, whatever you do, don’t let the devil’s tool of shame come raining down on our revelation right now, or even later, either. This is just the appointed time for you and me to learn about these things so we can be free to commit to things and people that will be good for us. 🙂

Let’s go back to that question, are you committed to something, or someone, that is physically, emotionally and spiritually good for you? Let’s think of some positive ways to commit to something for our emotional, physical and spiritual well-being.

So real quick like, because I know we’ve spent so long on this second step, but then again, each step leads to the next and the better we know the preceding steps, the easier it will be to move forward! Starting with physical, if we were to watch over with intensity – I’m getting a picture of an ice-hockey game and the goalie who twists, turns, delves and dives to prevent the puck from coming in! If we were to treat what we eat like a puck, and only the stuff that’s good for us makes it into the cage, that would be a great commitment for our physical well-being.

And just off the top of my head, I can give us a double-hitter application for our emotional and spiritual well being; that if we were to watch over with intensity to see that we practice this one little thing, we would be wiser in choosing whom and what we commit to, and be stronger and better at keeping them. Did you know that the Bible is the greatest self-help book that is committed to helping us commit! Practice taking in a little of it each day – a little dab will do you – and don’t be intimidated so easily by this task. Just show up to partner up (resolve) and ask Him to help you understand what you read. Trust me; the scripture you do read will come alive!

When we resolve, partner with the Holy Spirit, to commit, that will inevitably take us to the next step . . .

We’ll pick up there on Monday. Don’t forget to join me for Power Friday!

Joyfully committed


If I could have coffee with God . . . From Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power

Tuesday, May 17th, 2011

Welcome to Coffee Hour with Chicklit Power and thanks for coming by. Today is a great day to start this series, so grab your coffee and if you have a journal, bring it. You may just get a thought or come up with something that you are thankful for, or even a question you’d like to ask God if you were to have coffee with Him. 🙂

I first started thinking about this series several months ago when two people that are very near to my heart began to get sucked into their addictions again. I was overcome with so many different emotions and I began to put them down on paper. Now that the time has come to actually blog this series, I’ve gotten a little check in my spirit about how I am to begin it. I realized if I were to really have coffee with Him first thing in the morning, I don’t think my time with Him would begin well unless I began with things I would thank Him for, so that’s how I’d like to start this series with you.

Imagine it’s first thing in the morning, and you’ve gotten yourself a cup of coffee. Now go to your favorite quiet place and get settled, and you will find Him there waiting. I’m so excited to get there that I keep spilling my coffee. 🙂

What am I gonna say? This makes me think of that song, “I can only imagine.” There’s really no need to be nervous because He knows me better than I know myself. He knows everything that runs through this mind of mine, whether the thoughts are just like a little pitter patter of a toddler running to his mommy or they’re racing like a team of wild running horses. He knows all about my hurts, whether I’ve shared them with Him or not. He also knows all of my dreams and desires, and whether I’ve surrendered them or not.

So why have coffee with Him? Part of me is wondering and I bet you are, too. Well, it’s because He longs to have that time with you and me. So let’s get comfy and be still and think about some of the things we can thank Him for in our first coffee hour with God.

Oh, Abba, I thank you so much for speaking in a voice that could not be confused with any other all those years ago in the midst of one of the most painful times of my life when it literally hurt to breathe and I truly just wanted to die.

It was the morning after my ex left and I as soon as my eyes focused on the morning, they filled up with tears and then I heard these words that I will never forget, words that I had never heard before. And after you spoke them the first time and I looked to my left and to my right to see who was there, and then I realized You were trying to comfort me and I looked up towards the heavens. I told you I didn’t want to hear from You; that I thought You had let me down because you allowed him to leave and take my heart with him, You, Father, spoke the words again, even more gently than the first time, and what amazes me is how true they’ve continued to be in my life.

Back then, I was fairly new to reading your Word, and I had a Women’s Devotional NIV Bible. I think that’s so amazing how you use all the translations, Father. Anyway, I can still quote your words of comfort from Isaiah 53, Verse 4(a): “Surely He carries all of your pain; He dries all of your tears.”

That was the beginning of our beginning, Father, and I just want to thank You for never giving up on me, even when I want to give up on myself. There are so many things to thank you for, but I really have to begin there.

So go ahead, think about one thing that you are truly thankful for, and then invite Him into your coffee hour and tell Him.