Posts Tagged ‘grand-parenting’

Nana Holds-from Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power

Thursday, November 7th, 2013
Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power...

Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power…

EL pen Logo with heart

It’s great to have this time with you. I truly cherish sharing these truths that keep coming to the surface of my heart as I walk through this season of parenting our grandson. Several times in a given week, I hear about this very situation and what seems to be happening more and more: Parents parenting their children’s children. I am convinced, now more than ever, that this is an opportunity of redemption for the generation! Grab your coffee and join me for our coffee break.

So Bryce wound up staying with Jene’ and her family the first couple of nights, though he did come home a couple of hours after Rodney and Cheryl left so we could talk, and he brought Jene’ with him and Bryden, too. The highlight of those moments came in the form of yet another revelation as I sat and truly listened to him, trying with all my might to bring my defenses down so I could truly hear him and keep my opinions and frustration to myself.

As he sat there on the couch and shared his frustration with the program he had been in for the previous eight months, I suddenly realized that the truth of God’s love for him had not made that twelve inch leap to his heart and having it literally crammed down his throat daily had only clogged the way to his heart and not opened it, really.

Little did I know that this particular analogy would come alive and begin to form the basis for our Transform Trench class! See, there is something good about each and every recovery program, and there’s no such thing as a perfect one, but I truly have come to learn with all my life experience and being a particularly interested bystander in others’ experiences, especially with my son and step son, that in order to be able to receive the truth of God’s love, the pipe has to be unclogged which takes getting to the root. Don’t get me wrong; I’m not saying that His word doesn’t aid in that unclogging. I’m merely saying that if we were to combine the truths of His word with some other powerful exercises to remove the clog, wouldn’t His love be able to flow through easier, and thus free one from one’s hurt, habit and/or hang-up? Oh, so much to think about and I’m super excited as this concept swirls in my mind and resonates in my heart because I know that there were many clogs in the pipe leading to my heart before I was truly able to receive His love and thereby free the large pieces that blocked the truths of Christ.

Anyway, sitting there listening to him, I wasn’t thinking about all of this, but I did totally understand where he was at, as I was taken back to my days of being in the system in a foster home with foster parents that literally drug me up to the altar and said “you come to Jesus or you’re going back to McClaren Hall!”

What’s amazing is even though that definitely wasn’t His way, He still used it and here I am, all these years later, writing from my heart to yours for and with Him!

As frustrated as I was with Bryce, I was able to empathize with him without sacrificing my convictions and/or my boundaries.

He calls her Ja, Ja. Jene'!

He calls her Ja, Ja. Jene’!

And the beautiful thing that came out of that conversation was a picture that brings tears to my eyes as it comes to the surface of my heart. At the end of it, George asked Bryce and Jene’ to join us on the floor so we could pray, and there, we sat in a circle, joined hands and as George began to pray, he was stopped by his own sobs as tears ran down his face and he cried out to God for help in this situation.

Yes, friend, God uses all things, rights the wrongs and sets us on higher ground in the process!

Join me Monday for more

Evinda

Nana Holds!

Nana Holds!

 

Nana Holds from Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power

Friday, October 25th, 2013

 

Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power...

Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power…

EL pen Logo with heartIt’s great to share another Coffee Hour with you and more of this season which is definitely changing as I write this for you. Wow, I can’t wait to bring you up to where we actually are. Talk about a wild ride! Grab your coffee and come on in. We are still talking about a few ropes I found myself tangled in within my marriage!

The rope of victim, which I thought was long gone, reared its ugly head in my attitude as I all too often focused on how hard the task of raising a little one truly is more than the rewards of it. Again the cry of my heart was for Him who would lighten my heart, exchange my will for His and continue to transform my heart.

Another rope pulling on my heartstrings was that of weariness. I was consistently continuing to tell myself how tough this season was/is. Our brain only knows what we tell it and I’ll never forget when the light turned on and my complaining turned off, but that’s for me to share a different day.

These ropes and others were definitely thinning by this time, but they were still vying for my emotions, trying to trip me up and hold me captive in co-dependency, my innate tendency to rely on others for my happiness, especially my husband. It’s not easy admitting this, let alone writing this, but oh, how thankful I am that my Redeemer lives and that He’s never done painting on my life’s canvas.

So was it any wonder that I was looking forward, albeit tentatively, to a getaway with my husband? After receiving that phone call, and holding on to each other in our pain, I asked him what he wanted to do, if he wanted to leave. I was so uncomfortable with the thought of Bryce and Jene’ and Bryden heading back to our home, all by themselves, as if nothing had happened; it just wasn’t sitting too well in my head and certainly nowhere near my heart. But the other problem was we were concerned for Bryce’s emotional well-being. Once the reality set in of all the possibilities that could take place and how they would, each and any one of them, change his life, we knew he would need some support.

On one hand I knew this situation required grace, but on the other, I was struggling with how do I do life with him in my home? I wanted to know that he was sorry and he would never do this again. Oh, how I wish he could guarantee that he would think of all involved before he made choices that affected us all. I looked at George, questions pouring out of my eyes that I didn’t dare ask but I knew we needed to handle the situation of where he was to go while we were hundreds of miles away.

I shared that with George and he called Jene’s dad, and they both agreed that Bryce should come there and not be alone. That being handled, I remember looking at my

He calls her Ja, Ja. Jene'!

He calls her Ja, Ja. Jene’!

husband, smiling in a sort of bewildered kind of way and verbally reminding him of the promise I had made just three hours earlier, that I was going to look at all God was doing in and through this season with this amazing little boy , keep my eyes on Him instead of the difficulties that came with it. I hugged him to me and reminded him and myself that Bryce’s choice did not knock God off of His throne; that in His strength, we would get through whatever this new situation brought. And with that, we went back into the seminar, sort of in a daze, willing ourselves to enjoy the moments and leave the urgency at home where it would be waiting when we returned. And as we did, something strange knocked on my heart . . . I was missing Bryden, really missing him!

Join me Monday for more and have an amazing weekend!

Evinda

Nana Holds!

Nana Holds!