Posts Tagged ‘honesty’

Power Friday-From Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power

Friday, May 16th, 2014
Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power...

Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power…

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Wow, May’s halfway gone already! Did someone put us in a time capsule and fast-forward this month – or this year? Grab your coffee and come on in for our Power Friday. Hurry, before the day’s gone!

I was in the midst of talking with Abba, praying for someone, someone who at the very mention of their name causes me to shake my head in sadness, frustration and a bit of angst, and this happens even when I’m praying for them! Ugh, heavy sigh!

Anyway, God tells us in His Love Letters that if we don’t know what to pray, that His Spirit will intercede and tell us what to pray, how to pray and whom to pray for. I heard the word integrity, and so I began to pray for integrity for this person then all of a sudden, I heard this quiet-like whisper in the farthest corridors of my heart and I know He was trying to tell me something. . .

You can’t be honest about what you don’t know!

Ah, so some necessary truths have not been unveiled to her… yet! “So, Lord, will you help her to see, hear, to know (experience) truth as it relates to her and her interaction with others?” I will continue to pray . . .

When someone has you feeling a sense of angry/sad exasperation, remember this truth which will enable you to continue to pray for them!

Grabbing on to His truths,

2014 Headshot

Evinda

 

Loving the Unlovable-Step 4-From Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power

Thursday, March 27th, 2014
Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power...

Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power…

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Loving the Unlovable

Step 4

Whew, our last coffee hour was a bit grueling, but freeing, don’t you think? The fact that you are continuing confirms that He is with you and encouraging you in this process. I am excited to be on this journey with you, on our way to Destination? Joyful! ™ I wish I could see you face to face in our Coffee Hour! Grab your coffee and let’s go and talk a little more about Step 4.

The digging we did in that last step wasn’t easy to do; at least it wasn’t for me. I’ll never forget the splash of perspective and emotional pain I felt when the revelation and truth of being just like the first unlovable/difficult person on my list penetrated deep into my heart. But I can say this: As it illuminates, and we walk in its light, we are closer to freedom, just as John 8:32: “You shall know the truth and the truth shall set you free.” (NKJV) Another truth that I’ve learned to live by is actually the title of a book I read years ago “For Things to Change, I Must Change!”

Another brilliant spark within these truths is as long as you work on you in this process, that unlovable/difficult person no longer holds the same power over you! Sure, they may remain on your list, as a couple of mine have, but if we work these steps, they will move down the list instead of up, and the chances of them moving off the list increase when you continually practice loving the unlovable.

Yes, Step 4 does require some honest reflecting into your own character, and doing this will work like a mirror reflecting what needs to change in you. Most of the time, you will see yourself staring back at you through those descriptive adjectives. Remember, a lack of transparency translates to shame, and walking with shame is not abundant living!

There may be an occasional time when that powerful realization of the need for change doesn’t come to fruition. Then what do you do? You could list three more adjectives for that unlovable person, and see if those fit. Something tells me they just may.

For many of us, it is so much easier to focus on the flaws and faults of others, especially if you have a tendency to avoid your own emotions, as well as the emotions of those with whom you have relationship. Jesus knows about this weakness in each of us. Let me tell you why I say that:

In Matthew 5, Jesus escapes the multitudes and heads up to the mountaintop and His disciples follow. It is during this time that the famous “Sermon on the Mount” is given. There are so many priceless life lessons in the couple of chapters that follow without any sort of break in between. I wish I could have been up there with them but at least we have the recordation of it. In Chapter 7 He teaches them and us about not criticizing and/or judging others.

As I re-read this chapter in Matthew, and the footnotes, I can actually

the Book that teaches us how to love the unlovable!

the Book that teaches us how to love the unlovable!

imagine Jesus looking out to His disciples and chuckling as He tells them “And why do you look at the speck in your brother’s eye but do not consider the plank in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me remove the speck from your eye’; and look, a plank is in your own eye?” (NKJV)

He knows that the things that bother us about others are often the things we dislike in ourselves and that it’s so much easier to magnify the flaws and faults of others while minimizing our own. He even said it twice; He wants us to get the picture and seriously, if you visualize this illustration, while it’s humbling, there is humor. Our God loves us right where we are and encourages us to do the same with others. That’s grace and to whom much is given, much is required!

Smiles and hugs,

Evinda

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Nana Holds from Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power

Tuesday, August 27th, 2013
Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power...

Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power…

EL pen Logo with heartThanks so much for joining me today. Grab your coffee and come on in. Today is a special day for me!

I can’t help but smile because nine years ago today, I entered into the covenant of marriage and began the most insightful journey of my life with my husband. Everything I had been to up to and through that moment led me to him. I can honestly say that I love him in a much deeper way than the day I married him and I truly mean that. But what is even more telling is this truth: Marriage is the silent teacher that brings out the worst or the best in me; it is up to me to decide which one!

Another truth that makes my heart smile is this: Men have wounded me physically and emotionally; yet, He’s used this man to bring deep healing in so many areas of my life! Yes, we are wounded by relationships and we are healed in relationships. Only He has the power to make that possible, because otherwise, we would keep doing the same thing over and over and over again, expecting a different result!

Steve made a statement at our final How We Love group, and I’ll paraphrase it for clarity because many of us looked stumped after he said it: marriage teaches me about myself, and if I get to be happy too, then the lessons are successful for happiness comes in the process!

Now, I was going to share about this next couple, but after searching my heart and for the sake of anonymity, I realized I really couldn’t share too much because the details leading up to this comfort circle make it all the more powerful in its explosion of understanding. I will say that he went first and his two feeling words were quite telling. We all watched the process come to life as he shared small pieces of his childhood which collided with his two feelings that haunted him from within, causing chaos in his home.

And as he shared, some of us gasped, sucked in our breath as we learned how his imprint was affecting his wife. I knew in the core of my being that she was afraid of being honest, but her righteous anger wouldn’t let her be anything but.

As the process continued, I looked to Steve and again, because of their honesty and vulnerability, he was crying. Their process was just as powerful to witness and when they stood and held each other, the class again erupted with applause. What we witnessed together, combined with all the learning we had done bound us together in a way that changed us forever. None of us wanted the night or the class to be over. Everyone said they’d be back for the next one in January and each of them had someone to bring!

Join me Thursday for more of Nana Holds and the last of the symptoms of the relationship infection, which will fast-forward us closer to where I am in this precious season of life.

Joyfully,

Evinda

Loving life!

Loving life!

 

Nana Holds From Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power

Tuesday, July 17th, 2012

Coffee Hour!

Thanks so much for joining me for a little break today @ Coffee Hour. I just know that our hearts will be somewhat changed when this series is complete. Grab your coffee and come on in. 🙂

So getting back to where we left off, with Bryce on the couch, tears running down his face while he humbly asked for help. I remember being encouraged by his humility and honesty and yet, there was an emotional tug of war raging inside of me as I realized that his needs could possibly change my life forever.

I don’t think I realized until right then how much I loved my time with George, the privacy we could enjoy, the privilege of being able to come home from the pressures of the day, tune everything and everyone else out and just enjoy each other. Not that I was really good at that, tuning it all out, so maybe when this season is done, if I have any energy left, I’ll appreciate those opportunities quite a bit more and not take them for granted.

So there I was, in this massive emotional tug of war, torn between my desire to help and the desires of my flesh, which basically are summed up in not wanting my space invaded and my life turned upside down, not wanting any bumps in my marriage, which I knew in my gut would be there and rear their ugly selves once he moved in. Also churning in my gut was the realization that He had allowed this circumstance to enter our lives at that moment for His reasons, like it or not.

I can honestly say that a couple of those reasons were revealed quickly and many more unraveled as the months, weeks and days went by, sometimes quickly, but more often than not, painfully slow so as to reveal the lessons to be learned.

Just days before Bryce sat on the couch before us, humbly pleading with us for help through his tears, he had called his dad and given him a sort of heads-up about wanting to come home. When George had told me, I remember thinking, hoping that his desire to move back home would pass, but it didn’t. With the day looming over me for Bryce to come and talk with us, George and I haphazardly tried to lay down some sort of foundation of what we could agree on as “rules to live by” in order for him to return home.

Don’t get me wrong; I was willing to help, and yet the problems that had been a part of his living with us previously kept coming to the forefront of my mind. I convinced myself that Bryce coming home was another chance for him and his dad, another chance for us all to get it right.

Back to Single by Evinda Lepins

The Book that started it all is RELEASED!

Join me Thursday for more of Nana Holds. Tomorrow I have a divine appointment to share with you so come back when you can tomorrow for a little break. In the meantime, reach out and make it a great day for someone else.

Blessings,

Evinda, aka, Nana!

 

Don’t Leave your Soul on the Sidewalk-From Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power

Thursday, May 10th, 2012

Coffee Hour!

Thanks so much for joining me today for a little break from it all. I pray you will be blessed for setting aside this time, turning all the distractions off and opening up your heart. Grab your coffee and come on in. We left off waiting for my son to tell me how he’s doing. 😉

When he didn’t answer for what felt like an enormously pregnant moment, I said, “Are you feeling a bit overwhelmed?”

Again he hesitated, only this time for just seconds. “Yeah, I guess that’s a good way of putting it.” We both relaxed in his honesty and I encouraged him to fill me in on what was going on in his world, which turned out to be quite a bit.

I felt his weariness. I’ve never had to raise two children, so I can only imagine how hard it is for him and my daughter-in-love. 🙂

I listened as he shared his victories at the sober living facility, the things he was enjoying most about his apprenticeship, and the things that concerned him about some of the guys’ sobriety that he was able to observe because of the things he’d learned in his own school of life’s experiences as well as the school he’s attending to become a drug and alcohol abuse counselor.

My heart filled to the brim with Mother’s pride as I listened to him recount the things he was learning through his apprenticeship that God was leading Him through.:) 🙂

I asked him how his prayer life was and again he replied in complete honesty: “It could be better.” And that is when this statement came flowing out of my heart: “Son, don’t leave your soul out on the sidewalk.”

“Huh? What do you mean by that?”

“Don’t ignore your soul and leave it out on the sidewalk to get burned out, for others to trample on, pull from and drain you. Protect it; feed it and you’ll be feeding the most important relationship that will pull you in when you’re feeling like you’re going over.”

“Wow, I’ve never thought of it like that before, Mom.”

“The thing we forget is that even though you’re doing a good thing and/or helping others, you can run empty if you don’t fill up, and this is one of the enemy’s most powerful tools because we think when we’re in ministry we are immune to our soul running on empty. In fact, it’s the complete opposite. When we are doing any kind of ministry-type thing, any type of kingdom-building work, we need to be topping our souls off, not allowing them to get anywhere near empty!”

We talked for a few more minutes, and after saying our good-byes, I hung up, thinking about the profound statement that I know He had given me, but the crazy thing was, it wasn’t just for him; it was also for me!

Any time we mistakenly think we’ve got it figured out, let us remember this powerful truth that I will borrow from John Ortberg: “To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best day and night to make you everybody else means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight and never stop fighting”!

Oh, that we would relish being who and what He created us to be!

In His will,

Evinda

 

The Bachelor (2) From Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power

Wednesday, January 12th, 2011

Welcome to Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power, and welcome back to “The Bachelor.” Grab your coffee and come on in for the scoop on last night’s Bachelor show and the 20 remaining survivors.

Wow, I love the view, and not of Brad, either but from where he’s staying. It’s beautiful. Chris just came out and gave the girls the rules and cautions them to each use their time with him wisely. The first date is with Ashley H with a note that says, “The road to love is a wild ride, Brad.” So we had Ashley S who got the first impression and Ashley H gets the first date. Hmmm, I’m thinking he likes the name:) Where are they going? Well, they’re on a dark road right now, and Ashley’s freaking out. Brad guides her and this is definitely mysterious, something out of a horror movie, until they flip the switch and there’s this carnival for two! How sweet. The rides are now all on and there’s twinkling lights on each of them. Why did Brad pick this type of date? He summed it all up with this sentence: “Ashley didn’t care about the fact that she was in this beautiful dress. She was just living in the moment.”

Oops, the camera is going back to the girls left at the house. Hark, it’s another date card only this one’s for the group date. “Let’s share something from the heart, Kelsey, Chantal O., Madison, Melissa, Kimberly, Marissa, Raichel, Britt, Meagan, Emily Stacey, Sally, Shawntel, Michelle and Lisa. A 15-women group date, none of them look too happy. The comments made by them are not worth blogging. Let’s get back to Brad and Ashley.

“This girl’s the entire package, intelligent, pretty, and I feel like I can be myself with her.” And you found all that out in a couple of hours! Wow! OMG, they’re kissing as if they’re doing a major throat inspection. Too much too soon:( When they begin to talk on a serious level, Ashley lays it out there, being brutally honest while divulging some of her own terms and conditions based on old wounds. She has an addict father who was absent her whole life and to this day is homeless and absent from her life. Bingo, they have something major in common. Whew, I have to wipe my ears as I watch Brad get choked up. There was a lot of honesty in this date. Love it!

Group date time. Melissa and Michelle are very upfront and intense and not in a good impression type of way. It’s Michelle’s 30th birthday and she’s making sure everyone knows it. Melissa admits to quitting her job to be there and spending a fortune to get there and for her clothes, et cetera. Ahhhh, how sweet, this date is a give-back kind of date, donating time to the American Red Cross by making public service announcements, and of course they get the whole works, hair, makeup, girly girl stuff, and even a costume to go along with their script. This is definitely bringing out all their insecurities. They get rewarded with an after party on the rooftop, “drama free” per Brad’s request. Birthday girl needs to learn how to dress, seriously:)

Oh, good! Just in time, there’s the door with another date card. Thank goodness. “Jackie, let’s get our love on track, Brad.”

Back to the 15-women date: Their claws are out for that rose and how convenient; they’re all in their bikinis. And the rose goes to . . . The birthday girl. Buzz kill. She’s really lost, and a bit evil, too.

Jackie’s turn: Her very own “Pretty Woman experience” that begins at an elegant hotel in Beverly Hills. She gets to wear a bathrobe for the first part of their date, a date dedicated to the pampering of Jackie. Then she gets to pick out anything she wants in the elegant room filled with dresses and shoes, all her size, of course. The stage is set with all the “magical” things that give a girl butterflies: hair, makeup, new dress and shoes, and a surprise evening planned and don’t forget the jewels. How could you not be enchanted by the butterflies zooming around in your stomach? Oh, when will we realize the deception of it all? Such trickery and then they pull up to the Hollywood Bowl and on the front sign is a message, “To Jackie, Love Brad.” How perfect is that.

I will say that Jackie is pretty real, cautious with love and that’s a good thing. Another good date with some honesty, but still deception did its trick dragging them into the quicksand of “feeling love.”

The cocktail party before the final rose ceremony is ludicrous. There was a sweet moment that I knew was going to be sweet even before it began and that was with Emily. Brad stumbles over himself he’s so enamored by her, and she is too, but a bit more confident, it seems. I’m not going to go into all the drama that Melissa and Raichel get into. They are way too intense and way too soon. Isn’t this just the second show? Melissa and Raichel are the drama queens and have a big blowout, not worth talking about, so, moving on . . .

How fun, there’s a surprise visit from Allie and Roberto. Why are they here? To help find the phonies! I absolutely agree with who gets the rose for being the most authentic, Emily! Okay, so on with the rose ceremony . . .

The bachelorettes still in are: Chantal O, Sarah, Alli, Kimberly, Shawntel, Stacey, Ashley S., Madison (vampire girl), Lisa, Marissa, Meghan, Lindsey, and finally, Britt. So, the two drama queens are gone!

Please come back for coffee hour tomorrow. It’s a new series entitled: “2010 WOW Rewind,” meant to bring some very important words of wisdom to life.

Blessings,

Evinda

A Psalm A Day… at Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power

Thursday, September 9th, 2010

Welcome to Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power, and welcome back to our “A Psalm a Day” series. It’s great to be back in the Psalms. It’s looking like it’s going to be another cool morning, so grab something hot to drink and come on in.

So today is the 9th and instead of picking up with Psalm 9, I thought we’d go to 109, and wow, I know we can all relate to the first five verses of this Psalm: “Do not keep silent O God of my praise! For the mouth of the wicked and the mouth of the deceitful have opened against me. They have spoken against me with a lying tongue. They have also surrounded me with words of hatred and fought against me without a cause. In return for my love, they are my accusers, but I give myself to prayer. Thus they have rewarded me evil for good and hatred for my love.”

Let’s pause for a second and talk about this. To give you a little background, David is the psalmist here, and he’s endured many, many false accusations, gossip, and physical attacks on his life by people who wanted to take him out for one reason or another. So these first few verses, he’s venting to God. Because he took it to the right person, he remained blameless, and did not go sliding down the slippery slope of gossip. I wonder what life would be like if we vented only to our Father, and didn’t talk about someone else to too many someone elses, if you know what I mean. I know that there would be a whole lot less pain caused by gossip in our individual worlds. I’ve been on both ends of the rope, and they both hurt. To keep our venting strictly to Him is easier said than done because we tend to cry ouch when we’ve been hurt, but suffice it to say, if it isn’t honest, don’t say it, and if it tears down, zip it up and let it out in prayer! For those of you who don’t have an active prayer life, well, write a letter to God. It’s a great place to start.

Anway, the rest of this psalm is considered an imprecatory psalm (which means to invoke evil upon, a curse, a wish of some form of adversity or unhappiness to befall upon another person), and a call from David to God to judge the wicked. These parts of the psalms are known to sound harsh, but it’s important to know that David did not take it upon himself to bring harm to any enemy.

For our time today, I thought it would be good to rewrite the first five verses, and I will do it based on my own stuff, but please, try meditating on these verses and then rewriting them using one or more of your own personal circumstances concerning this subject. It’s a good way to let go of some junk from your trunk!

So here goes: (1) Thank you for listening to me, Oh Friend and Father. (2) I know you are saddened when mistruths are spoken about your kids by your kids, when lies are started like wildfire and others take a match and spark it too for their own personal reasons armed with only partial truths. (3) The tenacity with which they misunderstand me and the residue of their schemes surround me. Oh, but it is so senseless this side of heaven. (4) In exchange for their accusations, Father, please help me to show love. Help me give myself to prayer (5) even when they persist.

Go ahead and get your journal out and let it out. It’s the best preventative medicine for gossip!

Blessings

Evinda