Posts Tagged ‘hope’

Faith Filled Friday

Friday, December 30th, 2016

 

 

 

Welcome back to another Faith Filled Friday. 🙂

 

So I wanted to share what happened a couple mornings ago. It was unexpected, but has affected me since it happened. I had a customer that stopped by completely out of the blue, very random. I first saw him pull up through my security camera but thought he was going to the daycare across the street. Instead, I watched as he walked to my front door and rang the door bell. Since I had just gotten up, I was considering letting him walk away, but something…a driving force told me to throw on my clothes and go out and catch him. This all happened in mere seconds but it seemed much longer.

 

I opened my door and he was gone. Then I heard the car start so I made my way out as fast I could. He saw me, turned the car off and got back out of his car. At the time I did not know he was a customer. I have been doing my line of work for so many years and never had any one of my customers actually stop by. He told me he had come by for three reasons, the first of which he explained, was him leaving for Oregon to spend Christmas with his children, so he wanted me to stop service to his home for the dates he’d be gone. Well, I had no idea where he lived, so I asked for his address. He gave it to me and also mentioned he left the note in my mail slot.

When I saw his address, I remembered him, but only by way of a few waves of the hand over the years as sometimes his front door was open and he’d be behind his screen door. Because he’s elderly, I always pull into his driveway to ensure the newspaper lands on his front porch. Over the years I had also seen his wife up early and so I asked him how she was and he told me she had passed away. There was a pain in this man’s eye’s that was so present.

 

Suddenly I knew that God had a role for me that morning and had led this man to my home. He went on to talk about how much he missed her, the sleepless nights without her, how he could feel an emptiness and void he’d never felt in his life. He explained that they were married for 42 years and lived in the same home for 37. I am not always the most confident person, but for some reason I felt this understanding without him even going into all kinds of detail. At the same time I could feel his pain, I could also feel the energy of happiness in the way he moved his arms, the way he spoke, tone of voice as he talked about the love of his life.

I didn’t say much at the moment, just asked a little question here and there when he slowed his talking… as to keep him going. I was desperate to hear him, his story, his pain, his…

 

He explained to me that when his wife died, that there were only two things he could depend on; that everything else didn’t make any sense, didn’t feel like it mattered.  He told me the first thing he counted on at the end of his day was his children. They always called him and his daughter who lived near would always come over and check on him. He told me the second thing he could counted on was me delivering the newspaper and that sound of it hitting his door when I porched it was the noise he waited for. It was like a sign he needed to start his day when he felt nothing for him to rise to, but still he would.

Wow I was beside myself in hearing that…so much so, I almost cried. It touched me in a way I had not felt in years. To know that something I do and work hard at had helped this man survive the abyss of his sadness, it just felt so good to be a part of that; that I was making a difference in someone’s life. He told me it wasn’t just a newspaper I delivered; it was the tool to remind him the world keeps spinning without our loved ones and we need to live on, that we need to breathe.

 

I have really been trying to connect the dots in my life, always have but even more so in the last year of life. The possibilities of God’s love and intervention are absolutely infinite… I can’t help but think that some things might not have worked out the way in which I wanted them to because perhaps God needed me to be there for that man all these years later. All the times I thought “It sure would be easier to not pull in and porch his paper” when I was running later due to the stresses of life, But every night I did. I am so glad I did!

It’s true what they say about the small things do matter. Sure, doing them might make things a little challenging, and yet the power of it can be so empowering for another soul.

 

Know that what you do does matter even the little things can turn out to be big things for someone else. Join me next Friday for part two of this incredible true story that sparked my soul with life and love

John

johns-pic

 

 

Conclusion to We don’t have tomorrow

Thursday, September 3rd, 2015
Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power...

Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power…

EL pen Logo with heartHappy Thursday and thanks for stopping by today! Grab whatever you’re having and your strand of faith, maybe a Kleenex and a journal as I share from my heart to yours.

In the days that followed, I received positive updates. My son’s dad was improving on many accounts but each time the nurse reported this, there was surprise on her part with a firm confirmation that he would have to change his lifestyle or he wouldn’t make it out of a convalescent hospital. The words of my nephew’s wife – I guess that makes her my niece – surfaced: “He told me before they put him under that when he made it through this he was going to change his life.”

Surely that meant he had tomorrow, I assured myself.

The days turned into two more weeks, and my soul began to be troubled as I hadn’t heard from anyone about his condition. Was he still in a medically-induced coma? Surely that wouldn’t be, couldn’t be good. I sought answers from friends in the medical field who assured me that the coma would help with healing. I pushed what troubled me back into the hallway closet of my heart.

It wasn’t until we were driving up north to take our grandson back home and be part of his first day of kindergarten that I was prompted to text my nephew. Five minutes later, my phone rang; it was him.

“Funny you should text me,” he said. “I just got out of a meeting with the doctors.”

Silence screamed.

He continued: “It’s not good.”
My heart sank to the floorboard of the truck, his words going as fast as the miles gone behind me, slowing down when he came to the final conclusion: “So they are going to turn all the machines off and we have to let him go.”

Nooooooooooo, I screamed silently. My heart and thoughts just wouldn’t make the connection and that refusal turned the faucet of tears on and they flowed. I cried over the tragic waste of it all, all that he had lost, even more what my son had lost, and any and all opportunity of looking this man in the face, soul to soul to offer empathy, understanding, affirmation and forgiveness…gone. I didn’t have tomorrow. I couldn’t stop crying and for the next hour, anytime the tears would seem to abate, a thought would come crashing into my heart, taking me back, forcing more tears to the surface. Finally I dozed off, emotionally exhausted.

“I’ve already taken him up.”

I jumped, somewhat in a confused haze, looked around to George who sat driving, his eyes on the road, silent. I looked around at the brown lifeless hills surrounding the stretch of road on either side. I shook my head and as if to tell myself it must have been a dream, I shared with George the words I heard. They lay there in the air…floating away with no response, leaving me to think I must have just been dreaming, wishful thinking. I had sent my son a text message after trying to call him…he responded by saying he didn’t want to talk about it, couldn’t talk about it and his final sentence squeezed my heart, making me yearn to be there with him, frustrating me even more because I couldn’t; he was so far away. He said: “IJeffRIP’m just glad I have my mom. I love you.”

I tried to busy myself by playing games on my phone, reading, lost in a sea of memories, clarity keeping me present.

Two and a half hours later, I received a text message telling me he had passed! My heart lurched especially as a realization hit…hard: they said he had passed a couple hours prior…before my “dream!”  I have to believe that though I didn’t get tomorrow to tell him all that I wanted, and neither did my son, that I will see him in my forever tomorrows. I am comforted knowing he is no longer running from his past, allowing it to dictate his choices, robbing him from the ability to be loved and to love.

In the meantime, Coffee hour friend, let me just share from my heart to yours, if there is something or someone you are running from, STOP! Find someone to share it with; learn what you need to learn to unpack it, to let go of those things that rip you off from the love of family, friends and most importantly, the reality of the necessity of the love and grace of a loving Savior. And if there’s something you haven’t told someone you care about, tell them! Don’t wait until tomorrow for tomorrow may not come…for them…or for you!

Love,

IMG_8444-2 blogEvinda

We Don’t Have Tomorrow …

Wednesday, September 2nd, 2015
Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power...

Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power…

EL pen Logo with heartOh, my goodness, can you believe it; it’s almost fall! I love this time of year, when the change of seasons is just around the corner, even though the heat is trying to contradict that truth, and decorating ideas fill our thoughts; creativity brings them to life, our fall and winter clothes lay waiting for the weather to line up with the time of year. And the colors, don’t you just love the colors of fall? Woops, got carried away there, thinking just a little ahead! Grab your coffee, your strand of faith, and come on in as I share about a tragic loss I recently experienced, and some truths that came from that loss.

Three weeks ago, my son text to let me know his dad was in the hospital with the worst kind of pneumonia someone could have, especially for one whose immune system was already compromised. He asked me to pray. He attached three crying faces. Oh, but that broke my heart for so many reasons, for both of them, but especially my son. Without getting into the not-so-pretty details, let me just honestly share that I was more concerned for my son, as there were so many things left unsaid between them. So honestly, as a mom, I prayed for my son, and after working through a bit of unresolved animosity on my part as a result of his dad’s absence in my son’s life, from the age of four until that moment, I prayed for his father…and continued on with the rest of my evening.

I’ll cut this long story in half and just let you know that the next evening, my son called, tears filling his throat, making it difficult for him to talk so his words came out rather choppy: Mom, I don’t know what to do; Ryan doesn’t think he’s going to make it and says I should come out there.”

My heart fell to the ground, but thank goodness common sense didn’t follow. “Son, you have to go. You can’t “not” go or you will live with that regret for the rest of your life.” I explained we could help him financially if that was a problem, suggested he start shopping for airfare, hung up and stayed in survival mode. My sweet-hearted husband then called him back, gave him the credit card number and re-affirmed what I had told him, but man to man.

The arrangements made, we met my son up in Monterey the following day…at the hospital. I spotted my ex in-law family and after I ran to my son and held him for several lingering moments, I turned and hugged each one of them. There was no sense of awkwardness or animosity; just a genuine concern and sadness that joined us all on one common ground.

I was in no way prepared for what I saw when my son walked me into his room. There he lay, face down, suspended in the air, strapped in some contraption that kept him airborne with his head in like a cage, tubes coming out of everywhere. I gasped, hardly recognizing the man that lay there. As I listened to the beeping of the machines, my heart began to take in all that my eyes were seeing. The tears wouldn’t come; I wasn’t sure why. It was as though they were paralyzed, just like he was, from moving toward freedom.

I stared at him, thinking about all I had come to learn about him just in the last year, things that filled in the puzzle pieces of our life together nearly thirty years ago, why things didn’t work out, why he did what he did, chose the things that he did that brought him to this very moment. Oh, how I wanted him to open up his eyes and I wanted to look into them, deeply, reach down into his soul, massage it to softness, rid him of the stony heart made even more hard because of the way he lived his life…because of all that he ran from. I wanted to tell him I understood why he did what he did; why he didn’t do what he should have, could have; that I forgave him for not being the dad he should have, could have been. What I had learned didn’t justify his behavior, but it did clarify his behavior.

But I didn’t get that chance, not just because he wasn’t about to open his eyes due to the medically induced coma he was in, but  his sister came in there so I lost that opportunity.

By the next day, he was making great strides of improvement and my heart rejoiced over the possibility of another possibility…not just for me, but for him, for my son, to maybe have a chance to be father and son healthily without all the demons that had chased this man to the hospital. I was refueled with hope; I had tomorrow…

Join me tomorrow for the conclusion

IMG_8444-2 blogEvinda

Faith Filled Fridays From Croley’s Corner of Chicklit Power

Friday, April 17th, 2015
Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power...

Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power…

Thank you for joining me today for Faith Filled Fridays. Grab your favorite beverage, a pen and journal and let’s get started.

Recently I’ve had many ask me what I thought about waiting! For many of us, we’ve at some time or another gone through a time of waiting … waiting for answers to our prayers. And for some of us, we wonder why we have to wait so long for things to happen and other times, well, don’t we get tired of waiting and resign ourselves to the fact that maybe He’s not listening since His answer isn’t coming fast enough?

We certainly are a society that does not like to wait…period! And why should we? We can Google questions rather than wait for an answer; we can order clothes on line rather than suffer waiting in a weekend line at a retail store. Think about it for a minute and ask yourself, do you like to wait? The answer for most of us is a definite NO!!! We don’t like waiting at the doctor’s office… at the bank, and especially waiting in line at the drive-thru. Speaking of getting through a drive-thru …

Awhile back I had a couple of my grandchildren with me, they informed me that they were getting hungry so I suggested going to our favorite eating place. When we turned the corner, to our surprise, a line filled with cars was wrapped around the building and all I could hear was a huge gasping sigh followed by:”We’ll never get to eat now!” I quickly replied, “Don’t get frustrated. We can drive to another location that maybe isn’t so busy” … I paused and added a however; “we’re not guaranteed it won’t be just as busy.” I’m not sure if it was impatience or hunger, but they thought for a brief moment and asked, “Can we go inside?” My response was, “Sure.”

As we entered, we saw immediately that the inside was as busy as the outside! again they looked up at me with a look of urgency…they were hungry! I explained to them this shouldn’t take long… really, and if they waited patiently without complaining they could enjoy an ice cream for dessert.

They were happy with the thought of a sweet reward, so they suffered through the wait.

Bringing this into a spiritual perspective, we too can find ourselves in a position where we’ve asked for something from God and as we begin to turn the corner in our journey as believers, we suddenly see ahead that things are just not moving as fast as we were hoping and we have to wait. And sometimes in our waiting we become exasperated…impatient…always asking…”What’s up with the wait?” Waiting can certainly feel like we can’t see the end from the beginning.

We are a people of hurry up and getter done, not thinking about the consequences of our impatient- ness. God doesn’t operate any faster in this century than He did in the first. And so while we rush ourselves, we can’t rush God. In fact, much of life is spent waiting. When it seems nothing is happening, we need to trust that is when everything is happening … behind the scenes. We just can’t see it….at least not yet!

In the waiting we forget that we’re not the only ones that God is dealing with. We must remember that He may be dealing with other people, situations and/or circumstances. And to be impatient and demanding can sometimes cause us to act out of and therefore change the outcome of God’s will for our lives and maybe the lives of others, as well.

While our natural nature is to hate waiting, this period of uncertainty can be a time of great personal growth. We must recognize that God is in control, even when it seems He has forgotten us.

Had my grandchildren demanded to go somewhere else, well, the reward would not have been half as sweet! They endured in the wait, even in the simplest way! Our lives may not be as simple as choosing a place to eat; however, it’s just as important to know that waiting on Him brings blessings and rewards to us all!

Don’t grow restless in the waiting. God brought favor to Hannah after years of praying for a son…in her waiting… Moses spent forty years tending sheep before God called him as a deliverer of His people; God had to deal with Pharaoh’s hard heart…in the waiting. Remember He may be working with the will of others….in your waiting!

What are you doing while you are waiting? Are you doubting or worshipping? Are you complaining or praying?

Keep your heart full of hope…in the waiting!

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths.” Proverbs 3:5-6

Thanks for stopping by Faith Filled Friday’s and remember to keep Him close to your heart…while in the waiting.

Love,

Debbie Croley Pic

Deb

Power Friday-from Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power

Friday, November 7th, 2014
Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power...

Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power…

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Happy Friday and thanks so much for stopping by for our Coffee Hour and for our Power Friday! Can you believe Christmas is around the corner? Oops, sorry… There I go again, jumping ahead in life! Grab your coffee and let’s stay in this moment!

I am currently in the trenches with people who are willing to deal with their hurts, habits and hang-ups by looking at the root(s) they are tied to. We have just finished with the Root of Despair, and I am so loving this transforming journey with these fellow transformers! This root was actually a very powerful one for me, probably one that was the easiest to write for it’s the easiest to detect. See, what I mean is that despair is rooted in a lack of hope, and people who lose hope become incredibly desperate.

But there is something rather profound in this whole dilemma of despair, which translates to no hope. Could it be that who/what we put our hope in leaves us bankrupt? Leaves us empty of the will to fight? Threatens our stability? Steals our joy?

Here is a list of the top 5 things we tend to put our hope in. Make a mental check mark if any of these things steal even a little of your hope:

  1. Others/self
  2. Money
  3. Our hurt, habit or hang-up
  4. Education
  5. Career

You can’t fill an internal need with an external person, place or thing! Oh, to be rooted to the Author of Hope because who we put our hope in we tend to love!

IMG_8444-2 blog

Evinda

Jeff’s Java Hour @ Chicklit Power

Friday, August 29th, 2014
Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power...

Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power…

Well, I’ve come to my first big trial in Texas and right now, there isn’t much I can say but there is so much that is going through my head and through my heart. Like a piece of drifting wood caught in the middle of a raging ocean, I find that right before I reach the top of every violent and towering wave, my hope of seeing land, as I tirelessly climb to the top, never gets any more visible than the hope I had at the top of the first wave, but I know someday I’ll see land so I cling to hope.

I can’t tell you how I feel and why. I just know that I need Jesus. He is my hope where there is no hope. I’m not quite ready to share what’s causing me to feel this way. All I can tell myself is that He said that He makes springs in the wastelands; He made everything out of nothing. [Isaiah 43:19]And honestly, that is what I have turned my life into… nothing. Oh, how I relate to that saying, “if only I knew then what I know now.” I surely would turn my life into gold with choices that propelled me into God’s pleasing and perfect will instead of making choices that scratched just the surface of deep emotional itches.

But you know what? Who would I be today if I hadn’t gone through the consequences of those choices and where they took me? Would I be able to really see the beauty of light if I hadn’t spent so long in the dark? Would I really be able to cry when joy overwhelmed me if I had never felt such deep sorrow? Would I really know God passionately if I never had to seek Him with all of my heart on my knees crying out in desperation, “God I can’t do this anymore I need you to save me, to show me, to comfort me, or at least to give me the strength I need to keep going!”? Would any of us know anything if we didn’t feel compelled to ask Him, “Why?”

Ohhh but it is such a rich beauty because with the deep purples of despair, and the bright reds of anger and hatred, a brilliant orange mixes with a living yellow, blue and pink to show that something new and exciting is on the horizon. Yes, trials are and can be something that gives life and life so colorfully, abundantly, and beautifully.

God, who am I that you are mindful of me? [Psalm 8:4] Haven’t you seen what I have done? Don’t you know who I am? My thoughts are shameful and my heart is deceitful, God? I know that you say that You forgive unconditionally but it is so hard for me to believe that. I am unworthy to even speak Your name but You have given me breath in my lungs and Your name is on my lips. You are my master, God; teach me; discipline me. Wrap me up in your arms and love me like a father loves his son and never let me go. I desire to be obedient to you, God, as you desire obedience from me. I want to do your will and not just hear your will and I long to know your will in my heart. Teach me how to trust you and what that word even means. I love you, God. Please don’t let me stray from you.

Jeff's Java

Jeff

Destination? Joyful! from Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power

Thursday, July 17th, 2014
Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power...

Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power…

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Welcome back to our series that is getting us closer to understanding as much as we can the gift of joy, joy that will carry us to our Destination? Joyful! ™, and keep us heading towards our eternal home! Grab your coffee and come on in. I’m hoping to wrap up this first joy stop in the life of Job!

So we are digging for understanding of the verses preceding Job 8:19 and I was sharing with you Matthew Henry’s commentary. He goes on to describe the hypocrite/spider, and the bee/Christian.

The one who builds his life on false hypothesis is very fond of it/self, just as the spider is of her web. I can just imagine a spider weaving her web, sitting back on all her legs and admiring her work. But it weaves deeper than that, as Matthew Henry explains: “he pleases himself with it, wraps himself in it, calls it his house, leansuponit, and holds it fast.”

Whew, I’ve often likened effects of sin to a spider and a web; the longer we stay in a particular habit, hurt and/or hang-up, it becomes like this web, spun so tightly there seems to be no way out because you can’t find the exit, or the beginning! Definitely no joy in that dilemma!

Just as the spider weaves this web with her legs, so a hypocrite takes hold of false security with his/her hands, hugging themselves in the fullness and firmness of their outward prosperity! Think of building your house on sand or a rock! Matthew 7:24-27!

Now that was paraphrased, and to explain it simply, this is a false sense of joy, aka, external happiness! This is not in any way a form of joy, because joy is internal and happiness is external, based on external things. Take the X out of external and what do you have? Eternal! Joy is based on eternal things.

As I read further in Matthew Henry’s commentary, I was astounded at how direct and blunt he was about those professors, teachers who flatter themselves with their so-called secured salvation and is secure in their place in heaven, those who cheats the world with their vain confidences. Wow, this is Bildad’s argument to Job. Oh, em, gee, he’s literally accusing Job now! I can’t help but giggle as this becomes a bit more clear to me because I’d love to as Matthew Henry, even though you are describing Bildad’s argument, are you describing Bildad who is describing Job?

Ahh, here’s the proof that there’s no joy in finger-pointing, either!

I love how Matthew Henry wraps up this first analogy of the hypocrite and the spider:

“The prosperity of worldly people will fail them when they expect to find safety and happiness in it. They seek to hold fast their estates, but God is plucking them out of their hands; and whose shall all those things be, which they have provided? Or what the better they will be for them? The confidences of hypocrites will fail them. The house built on the sand will fall in the storm, when the builder most needs it and promised himself the benefit of it. When a wicked man dies, his expectation perishes. The ground of his hopes will prove false; he will be disappointed of the thing he hoped for, and his foolish hope with which he buoyed himself up will be turned into endless despair; and thus his hope will be cut off, his web, that refuge of lies, swept away, and he crushed in it.”

Whew, I’m thinking Bildad, in his quest to understand what was going on with Job, why what was going on was going on, lost sight of true joy!

Join me next week for the analogy of the hypocrite to the flourishing tree, which I promise will lead us to a deeper understanding of joy!

Joyfully,

2014 Headshot

Evinda

Power Friday @ Coffee Hour with Chicklit Power

Friday, May 9th, 2014
Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power...

Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power…

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Thanks for joining me for a little coffee break and our Power Friday at Chicklit Power! It’s great to share these mini downloads from Him with you! Grab your coffee and come on in.

For those of you new to this blog, I have been writing a curriculum for the past couple of months, a curriculum addressing the eight roots to any hurt, habit and hang-up for our Transform Trench Class and it has been an incredibly eye-opening experience. I can’t believe how much I am learning as He writes through me and guides me in the research of the largest project I have ever undertaken.

Our Transform class is currently working through the Root of Despair, and there were diamonds that He handed me right away for this root that literally lit up and revealed all symptoms leading to this root.

While I understand there are many who read the blogs that don’t attend this class, or have a desire to, I pray that these mini downloads He has given me will shine brilliantly in your own life, granting understanding along the way of your journey. As I looked at the writings from the many people who shared about their own Root of Despair, He illuminated in a sweet and tender way the reason we find ourselves tangled up in this root:

If despair is a loss of hope, then who/what are we putting our hope in?

Ponder that question for a moment and think about your current circumstance. Are you hoping in yourself, in money, or in someone else other than the Author of Hope? Oh the beautiful truth that causes me to soar on wings of an eagle, reminding me that those who put their hope in the Lord shall renew their strength! (Isaiah 40:31a)

Have a hope-filled weekend!

kim L
Evinda

Power Friday @ Chicklit Power

Friday, March 14th, 2014
Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power...

Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power…

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Thanks for joining me today for our Power Friday! Grab your coffee and come on in.

I’ve been working very intently on a curriculum that addresses hurts, habits and hang-ups, and it’s been intense, overwhelmingly so, as well as freeing as He writes through me and shows me through words, scripture, others’ lives how and why people get stuck in the various hurts, habits and hang-ups.

I am definitely excited and anticipating the ways in which He will work through this curriculum that addresses the eight roots to any hurt, habit or hang-up. One of the roots is despair, and despair is defined as a loss of hope! I was going to go one direction with it and He led me another, revealing that the problem lies in whom and what we place our hope in and I am super excited for the revelations to come from the digging up of this root.

But for now, let me give you this power thought from this very root of despair:

When we put our hope in people and things, we lose our ability to soar through life.

Oh, that we would soar as with wings of an eagle . . .

Love,

Evinda

2014 Headshot

Nana Holds from Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power

Thursday, July 18th, 2013
Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power...

Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power…

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Thanks for stopping by Coffee Hour @ Chicklitpower. I’m so glad you’re here. Grab your coffee and let’s get back to Revival for Relationships and Bryden’s 3rd birthday!

Oh, how relevant are the things I’ve learned this past year and a half, about myself, Bryden, children in general and the value of relationships. Every one of us is born with a God-sized hole and each of us has the same basic needs: Need for acceptance, security & hope.

Our parents were the representatives for that God-sized hole and if they did not fulfill their role, then how do we allow Him to fulfill that or anyone else? When the needs of acceptance, security and hope are not met, life turns into a mission, a mission of control in search for preservation, protection and sustenance, and if trust has been broken, then we come to trust only that which we can control.

Control in and of itself is a delusion and the less I hang on to it, the more in control I am! I shared about my failed relationships and how I was finally realizing what had destroyed them: what I’ve come to call “the relationship infection.” Every new relationship was a quest, a search for acceptance, security and hope, and if I ever felt that slipping, which happened all the time, I tried to hang on to it even more by trying to control in whatever way I could.

Now I must confess that as I stood before the crowd, I was focused on what I had learned up to that point about myself and had not quite made the connection like I have at this point in the journey, today. But as I wrote that last paragraph, the little face I keep seeing is Bryden and suddenly it clicks: He and I have so much in common, and that’s not to bash his parents or mine. All parties involved were/are working with what they were given in their early years and so the cycle begins. But what I know that I know that I now know by and through experience, and with the help of an amazing book, How We Love by Milan and Kay Yerkovitch, that these things can be unlearned, a new imprint created. It’s never too late for God.

What a beautiful privilege to be granted: to be part of little Bryden’s framework, and the nurturing, fulfilling his need for acceptance, security and hope. What child doesn’t deserve that? Just because I didn’t get it doesn’t mean I am incapable of giving it. That is the brand new truth that I was just beginning to recognize on Bryden’t third birthday as I stood before the crowd present at our Revival for Relationships workshop!

Join me tomorrow for more,

In His transforming love,

Evinda

Nana Holds!

Nana Holds!