Posts Tagged ‘memories’

Twas the Night Before Thanksgiving … from Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power

Wednesday, November 26th, 2014
Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power...

Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power…

EL pen Logo with heartThanks for stopping by for our Coffee Hour! I know you may be extra busy today, getting ready for Thanksgiving and all, so I won’t keep you long. I just got to thinking about this holiday, my favorite one, and got a little sad as I won’t have my kids to share it with this year so I dug within my soul for past memories and reminders of what really matters, not just for Thanksgiving Day but every day! I hope you enjoy my Thanksgiving rendition of Twas the Night Before Christmas … grab your coffee and come on in.

Twas the night before Thanksgiving and all through the house

Every creature was stirring, including the mouse

Everyone was working on all of the fixings

The noise and smells were coming from the kitchen

 

The children were busy with their tablets and toys

Captured in their games, they made not a noise

While the adults laughed and worked all collectively

What a beautiful sight it was for any heart to see

 

When all of a sudden there arose such a clatter

Mom ran to the kitchen to see what was the matter

She looked to the left and she looked to the right

She couldn’t believe what was in plain sight

 

There was broken glass from a favorite platter

And at first glance, she knew it didn’t matter

Everyone was frozen, waiting for her reaction

But she didn’t give the devil that satisfaction

 

The counters were a mess, preparations everywhere;

It looked as though a tornado had just gone thru there

The turkey had flown from the platter to the floor

The poor thing looked like it just couldn’t take no more

 

The stove was a disaster waiting to happen,

full of pots and pans, handles overlapping

The old mom would have immediately gotten on her broom

And painted the atmosphere with a bit of doom and gloom

 

But the new and improved mom was no longer that way

For she had learned the true meaning of Thanksgiving Day

She stared at each of them and the mess they surrounded

Knowing her response would leave each one of them astounded

 

Now sons, now daughters, in-laws, friends like family

This is ever a sight for the eyes of my heart to see

More than the chaos, the mess on the floor

The memories we’re making are worth so much more

 

So grab a rag, and a dishtowel too

Here’s one for each and every one of you

Let’s work together in cleaning up this mess

It will only take a few minutes or less

Pick up the turkey, and we’ll wash him off

We’ll stuff him but good and put him in a trough

We’ll baste him all over, and get him ready to eat

No one will ever know we stepped on his feet 🙂

 

And when the morrow comes and we gather for the meal

We’ll be able to discern what matters and what’s real

Faith, family, friends, love and laughter

Help to bring us all that happily ever after

 

I looked to each of them with tears in my eyes

And said something I had just realized

Oh, why can’t it be Thanksgiving every day?

Loving each other in a Christ-like way

Patience, self-control, love and joy too

Are there for the asking for each of you

We don’t have to wait for a holiday to see

That Christ’s greatest gift is that of family

 

Praying you enjoy your Thanksgiving, no matter what circumstances you are in, no matter who you are with … or not with!

Thankfully,

IMG_8444-2 blog

Evinda

Monday’s Manna from Castro’s Corner @ Chicklit Power

Monday, April 7th, 2014
Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power...

Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power…

Happy Monday Manna! Mondays seem to roll around faster and faster week-by-week. I can’t count how many times I’ve heard the classic line, “The older you get, the faster it goes!”

It wasn’t until recently that I realized that there is a lot of truth behind this saying. It seems like it was just yesterday that my mother was literally carrying me into my preschool’s “Meet and Greet Day.” She was wearing a colorful sundress and I remember hiding my face in her shoulder as she attempted to sit me at the table with all of the other students in class. At the end of the day I hadn’t made any friends, so I sat alone underneath the playground slide where I had a perfect view of the whole parking lot. I knew she was coming at 4:30PM and when I saw that big red van coming into Christ the King’s parking lot, I was overwhelmed with joy and relief! So maybe I had a minor case of separation anxiety, but who could blame me? My mom was super-woman and she still is.

After my father had passed — I was eleven years old — my mother took on the role of head of household. Like any single mom, there is a massive learning curve involved when raising two adolescent boys. She kept us regimented. Our weekly five a.m. water polo and swim practices were NEVER missed and we could always count on a warm, home cooked meal on the table at 7 p.m. We were a team. As I got older I realized that our family dynamic was different than most.

When my mother married her second husband Dave Austin, I was ecstatic. I knew that Dave would be the new father figure in my life and I had a lot of catching up to do as it had been years since having a dad. I also knew that Dave would provide for my mother; that is until the unexpected happened. When we received that phone call that Dave had crashed on his motorcycle and was transported to the Arrowhead Regional’s I.C.U, we all were in disbelief. Dave passed away two days later after suffering from a pulmonary embolism that had originated from a major bone fracture in his femur. My mother was in shock and I was in denial. Even seeing Dave lying there on the hospital gurney, after he was coded, I spoke to him as if he were playing a joke on us. How could this happen again…?

Just like before, we were alone. But we were a force to be reckoned with! We cleaned together, cooked together, ran together, laughed together, and cried together. We had each others’ backs and we could count on one another for anything. It was that way for many, many years but then change took place once again: My mother remarried – it’s been approximately seven years now — and I moved out, got married, and started a new life with my wonder bride, Kayla. Life was busy for all of us and one day blurred into the next.

About a year ago, during a hectic time of buying our first home, mom called and she asked me how I was doing. We actually hadn’t spoken in months. I was so busy with my new job and with moving into our new house that I hadn’t taken the initiative to contact her. When I explained how busy I’d been, there was a pause, and I heard her begin to cry over the phone. She said that she missed the way things used to be. After all, we were the “unstoppable duo.” We had been through everything together.

She always apologizes after she cries, which I find funny, and she did just that. She reminded me of Matthew 19:4-6 – “For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife and the two shall become one flesh. So then, they are no longer two but one flesh; therefore what God has joined together, let no man separate.” And as she recited this verse I began to have flashbacks of all the memories we shared together. I broke down too, and told her I loved her. My mother has always been my biggest fan and vice versa. Mothers will never know the long-lasting impact they will have on their children.

This writing would have been most appropriate for mother’s day, but to all you mothers who are reading this- You will never know how much you have impacted the lives of your children. A good mother exemplifies a Christ-like love and I believe that God has a special place in heaven for you. God Bless You!

In His Love,

Castro'sCornerPicP.S. Join Steve & Evinda for more relationship revelations on How to Love Who You Love on Blog Talk Radio! Just click on the link to listen when you can! Show airs at 1:00 Pacific time! www.blogtalkradio.com/Chicklit-Power

 

 

 

Garrett Castro

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Castro'sCornerPicP.S. Join Steve and Kim (Evinda) for Blog Talk Radio, 30 minutes of relationship counseling! Just click on this link and listen at 1:00 live, or at your convenience. www.blogtalkradio.com/Chicklit-Power

Journal Entry from Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power

Thursday, April 11th, 2013
Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power

Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power

Thanks for stopping by for a little break today at Coffee Hour. I hope you enjoy our time together. I’ve planned something a bit up close and personal, a journal entry, if you will, accompanied by some photos of memories captured. Grab your coffee and come on in.

I realize it’s been almost two weeks since Easter, yet the moments experienced that day are still lingering, the truth of the miracles within our family waiting to be shared.

As long as I can remember, I’ve wanted a family – to be part of a family. It’s a God-given desire that has burned inside of me ever since being divinely rescued from my earthly family almost forty years ago. When I married George, and his two children – his son was 18 and his daughter 15 – I felt as though I had finally landed in a little slice of heaven. I couldn’t wait to be part of a family.

Within months, that joy came to a screeching halt – I can still hear the sounds of skids, glass shattering, tears of frustration leaking everywhere — and I was shaking my fist at God, accusing Him of making a mistake. But God in His sovereign grace reminded me that this was no accident; that He had ordained this marriage and that He would grant me the desire of my heart: to be part of a loving family and not just feel like I belong, but know that I do! Ah, the Hebrew definition of “know” comes to mind and He whispers that I will experience/know that sense of belonging.”

Well, it’s almost nine years later, and though we are not quite there, we are closer than we’ve been to that desire of mine.

our 3 favorite little people!

our 3 favorite little people!

I wouldn’t trade the lessons I’ve learned along the way for anything this side of heaven for they have all strengthened my ability to love, my faith, and my hope that one day, our two blended families will function as one.

Easter was a reminder that that is closer to happening than ever. We celebrated this special day with Jeff and Lauren, my son and my daughter-in-love, their two kids, our grandkids, as well as Bryce, George’s son, and Jene, his new girlfriend, and of course our grandson Bryden. Our time together was sweet, never stilted or uncomfortable. I thoroughly enjoyed watching everyone interact with each other, especially Jeff and Bryce.

Jeff serenades us during the egg hunt!

Jeff serenades us during the egg hunt!

As I rewind the day, I can’t help but smile inside because anyone watching us interact over our “drunch,” dinner/lunch, I don’t think would have known that we were two families learning to become one. There was plenty of conversation, plenty of laughter, and of course, Bryden was the center of attention with Ty-Ty by his side, and Dillan cheering them on.

We did an Easter egg hunt, made so special by the joy on Dillan, Ty-Ty and Bryden’s faces, and watching our kids parent their kids . . . Oh, what a feeling! I loved having the kids look for their Easter baskets and as I share that with you, the scripture “He will restore all that the locusts have stolen” fills the depths of my soul with truth and peace that passes all understanding! Never in a million years would I have imagined that taking place like this!

Bryce/Bryden; Father/son

Bryce/Bryden; Father/son

But what happened after all of that is what I will forever hold in my heart as my favorite memory: Jeff and Lauren suggested we do communion; they not only suggested it, but the led it!

First we did a couple of worship songs, and then Jeff read the passage and asked me to pray after and then we did more worship. I don’t know who I was more proud of and excited about: my son leading communion or Bryce’s affirming words afterwards: “That was pretty good.”

Yes, resurrection Sunday proved to be another restoration memory; His death was not in vain.

Reminiscing,

Evinda

IMG_8444-2 blog

 

Nana Holds from Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power

Monday, April 8th, 2013
His mercies r new every morning!

His mercies r new every morning!

Thanks so much for coming back for more of these life-changing moments in this season of Nana Holds.

By now, we are six, almost seven months into this season of parenting/grand-parenting Bryden, and none of us are the same! It’s almost Christmastime; he’s just about potty-trained, both number one and two. Consequently, his piggy-bank is getting full and ours is emptying! Clean pants and a full bank, what a winning combination!

George and I are learning the skill of teamwork – and until this circumstance, I had no idea that we weren’t really functioning as a team and that we had so much to learn in this area. I can’t help but shake my head and chuckle at His sense of humor and how He uses all things for all things! Talk about multi-tasking!

By this time, I definitely am getting used to all the changes that have occurred and I am not harboring any resentment or holding on to bitter waiting for things to get better. I am, as has been the case since the beginning, growing in my circumstance, learning to live outside it instead of it consuming me. But I still had a long way to go in the area of relating instead of just functioning — of course I didn’t realize it; I thought I was doing pretty well but I’ll explain that one later! 🙂

I know I’ve already mentioned in prior coffee hours that Bryden wanted a backpack and a lunch pail for big-boy school, which is the key we used to turn on his little switch from pants to potty. So we knew we were going to get him his

Papa, Bryden and his bawoon!

Papa, Bryden and his bawoon!

backpack and lunch pail for Christmas. We kept talking up big boy school, especially after receiving word that we were no longer on the waiting list and he was now officially registered and would begin big boy school January 4th!

So there was that countdown. Thinking about his enthusiasm squeezes my heart with such joy for two reasons: the first being that I can finally recognize his childlike enthusiasm and revel in it, be part of it and appreciate it; and two, I loved and still do love knowing that George and I are part of his enthusiasm; that God chose us to help build his little foundation into something big and strong for his later years moves me so far from myself and to a person I know He is transforming into His likeness every day I share with Bryden.

It has been so many years since I have experienced such a special Christmas. It was like Abba was bringing out the little girl in me by bringing this little boy to us to love and nurture as parents. One of my fondest memories about the whole Christmas season was watching him watch the commercials. Have you ever noticed all the toy commercials they play on T.V. around the holiday season? Actually, the season gets earlier and earlier, but that’s a different blog for a different coffee hour.

I could be in the kitchen preparing dinner or in the laundry room folding clothes and all of a sudden I’d hear the sweetest voice ever say: “Nana, I get one of those for Christmas? Nana, can I have one of those for my birthday?”

Yes, he was already asking for gifts for his birthday because he knew it was shortly after Christmas! No matter where my head was , what I was thinking or feeling, what kind of a day I had had, that innocent voice pleading for a new toy could and would always pull me to him!

Embracing the revelations filled with His love,

Evinda

Nana Holds!

Nana Holds!

P.S. Don’t forget to join us today, if you are able, for our Blog Talk Radio show airing live at 1:00 Pacific time. If you can’t join us then, simply click on the link and download on your Itunes! www.blogtalkradio.com/Chicklit-Power

Coffee in Kauai From Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power

Wednesday, September 12th, 2012

Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power

Thanks so much for joining me for a little break today at Chicklit Power. Grab your coffee and come on in. We’re about to board the boat for a great time!

The weather was absolutely perfect and as we found our spot to get comfy and listen to the captain as he explained all the dos and don’ts about the trip, I could barely sit still. Why? Because whenever I know I’m going to see dolphins, I’m like a kid in a candy store; I can’t get there quick enough or get enough! In the past, George and I have done the snorkeling tour which is several hours earlier and the chance of seeing dolphins up close is much greater than in the later afternoon, the tour we were now on.

As the boat pulled away from the pier, everybody made their way around, looking for the spot they wanted to claim as theirs. I knew I didn’t want to sit on the trampoline-like spot like

Rodney & Cheryl

before, because you usually get soaked. Instead, George found us some great front row/bow seats that were just big white box-like containers, probably where all the life vests were stored, and right in the middle of the two trampoline-like spots. Rodney and George got up first, and then Cheryl and I climbed up and scooted back into our guys to get comfy. So in other words, George was holding all of my weight and his too, but he didn’t seem to mind.

With the wind blowing, my mouth was in a permanent smile but so was my heart. I leaned into George, enjoying the beauty that surrounded us for miles, catching the change of colors in the water that turned from deep, dark blue to aqua marine, to turquoise and back to deep, dark blue. The captain told us the color changes were due to depth and if rock was nearby. It was mesmerizing.

Just as soothing was the gentle gliding of the boat on the waves, and as we got further into Napoli coast, the ride became more defined by greater highs and longer lows into the water, up, up, up, down, down, down. But it wasn’t a rough ride by any means and though I have my fears I’m still fighting when it comes to the ocean, I was at peace, calm and not frightened at all, the feeling of George’s arms around me adding to my feeling of safety and contentment. This is what it’s like to just be!

The sights were breathtaking and captivated us into silence, each of us lost in our own thoughts. Every now and then, the beauty was so much so that we had to capture it with a picture, a picture that would bring me back to this place of beauty and serenity that I could draw upon in the future when life isn’t as peaceful and enjoyable.

Suddenly Cheryl shouted, “Dolphin; I see a dolphin. Oh, there’s more, over there, over there!” My neck turned so quick

Dolphin frenzy

in the direction of her hand that I startled the muscles and cringed but strained some more to see these beautiful child-like creatures that are exquisite to watch and always squeeze my heart with so much emotion. And then we saw a baby attached to his/her mommy. What a beautiful sight to see; a child never leaving its parent’s side, until it is strong enough that is.

The dolphin frenzy lasted for about 15 minutes, and then they swam on to the deeper unknown while we all got back to basking in the surrounding beauty, enjoying the rhythm of the boat as it rose up to meet the waves and came back down over the whitecaps. At times it felt as though

Mamma & baby

we were on an ocean roller-coaster and Cheryl and I couldn’t help but giggle like girls.

Our giggles went beyond the thrills of the ocean boat ride. Rodney and Cheryl really know how to have fun, and several times George and I broke out in fits of laughter over some of their shenanigans; other times, we marveled at the compatibility they shared between themselves and with others, a compatibility that was contagious, splashing on us and others, too!

Napoli Coast

Have you ever tried to eat salad while enjoying a catamaran ride? I’m giggling as I remember several times opening my mouth and putting my fork-full of salad in, closing my mouth on an empty fork, and looking up and over to see my lettuce floating in the wind! I wasn’t the only one who hadn’t mastered it, though. By the time our waiter served our main course, we had mastered getting the food in our mouth before the wind took it away, which was quite scrumptious by the way.

The highlight of the evening, we finally got to experience a Kauai sunset! Oh, what a feeling; oh, what a day! These moments in Kauai are forever etched in my heart, teaching me that they happen more often when we are just being, and not so much when we are busy doing.

Join me tomorrow for our Friday in Kauai. Have a great day and thanks for allowing me to share these memories and revelations with you. I’ll let the pictures speak the rest of the words! Enjoy!

Cheryl, the sunset and the Titanic?

Evinda                                                                                             

Kauai Sunset

 

He’s a Housekeeper, Too? Cleaning the Closet-From Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power

Thursday, September 29th, 2011

Welcome to Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power and thanks for joining me today for the conclusion of cleaning the closet. Roll up your sleeves and grab your coffee. We’re about to do some deep cleaning. 🙂

I got comfortable in the chair beside Him and just sensed in my inner being that He had much to share with me so I waited.

“To get us started in this most difficult room, I would like to share sort of a story with you, daughter, one that too many of my children can relate to and with and this one is about your child abuse.”

Just hearing the words “child abuse” made me cringe.

“See, you are one of the fortunate ones in this vicious cycle of child abuse, for shame traps most of them into silence while the perpetrator goes seemingly unpunished for their violations against the abused, thus leaving them entangled within the circle of long-term effects. This is why we must clean out this closet, because these effects sort of ripple into each other.”

His words made sense in my heart.

“But now that the cause of your child abuse is removed, you have become free to go forward in life, but there is an imaginary box that contains hundreds of pieces which represent the effects that accompany the child abuse that you and many of my children have endured.”

I had no idea when I had begun to cry, but the tears were coming down my face now. I wasn’t sure what I was feeling, either, but it was confusing, like a combination of anger and sadness. I kept quiet as He continued.

“See, you can’t put the past behind you until the effects no longer live so deep within you. These things done to your flesh have scarred your heart, your emotions and because they live in the flesh, that is why this is a process that takes time. I can’t come in and just snap it all away like one could clean a room with a shop vac.”

The voice of truth beckoned within me and I realized that His voice had called me some time ago, beginning to give me the tools to unlock the closed box and sort through the pieces.

“See, because the effects are buried so deep within you and every other child who has been abused, the process is a long and arduous one, and it is a bit complicated by the fact that there are many residual effects attached to the larger ones.”

His words illuminated understanding in my heart and mind. And I was fascinated at the way He was piecing together my own journey.

He smiled and continued. “As the pieces come together in this cleaning-out-the-closet process, the color will come, adding depth and contrast to the picture of your life, and this process will rid you of the shame that you have carried within you and yet that which clothes you and all other victims of child abuse. The deceitful thing about that is the tendency to get comfortable with those clothes but they hide your sense of self-worth because of surviving instead of relating.”

I gasped at the truths He was pouring into me.

“Those clothes of shame also close your eyes to the non-development of your observing ego.”

“What in the world is my observing ego?” I blurted out.

“That is the ability to see your true self accurately. When shame is removed, what is exposed is your almost innate desire to control your surroundings due to a lack of ability to trust. That is why I refer to this shame as toxic, but unfortunately, it is one of the most powerful tools that the enemy uses to dress the one sexually abused in.”

Memories of dealing with my own shame surfaced as I remembered one of the first things that my counselor had taught me about this cycle of shame which produced double-mindedness. I nodded my head in agreement, sharing with Jesus the memories of blaming and judging myself as a child, believing that I actually held enough power to go back and change what had happened to me.

Suddenly I had an irresistible urge and I had to know: “So why couldn’t I have stopped him from molesting me?” I stopped, knowing I needed to ask another really important question but I kept it to myself.

“This distortion of thoughts is definitely another sharp tool of the enemy and unfortunately the answer is not so simple.”

I agree with Him wholeheartedly and because of its complexity, we’ll stop right there but please join me on Monday as we explore this profound question and receive some truthful answers, answers that I pray will shed light into your closet.

With less junk in my closet,

Evinda

 

Enjoy our Independence Day! From Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power

Monday, July 4th, 2011

Welcome to Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power and thanks for coming by! This is such an important holiday that we are all enjoying the freedom to celebrate, but if I had put the word “Independence” instead of “freedom,'” it might not have sounded the same! Grab your coffee and come on in.

So more and more I hear and see this holiday acknowledged as simiply “The 4th of July,” and to many that’s no big deal, but to those of us who have children, and even children with children, I can’t help but take a moment to say that I think a lot of history is being forgotten in so many forms of socialization. To many, it’s an extra day off of work, a day to party some more. To many of us, it’s a time for another fun family get-together and/or a barbecue. Don’t get me wrong: I love a fun time, and making new memories with the fam’. I just don’t want to forget why we celebrate this day.

The definition of independence is not dependent upon, so let’s look up independent, which according to Webster’s means:   “not subject to control by others : self-governing  (2) : not affiliated with a larger controlling unit  b (1) : not requiring or relying on something else : not contingent <an independent conclusion> (2) : not looking to others for one’s opinions or for guidance in conduct. There is a lot of spiritual significance in these definitions as well as this special day and much symbolism within the flag. I truly am blessed for and by the many freedoms you and I enjoy day after day. It truly is a day to sparkle and shine! 🙂 

So whatever you do to celebrate Independence Day,

take a moment to stop and pray

to thank our Heavenly Father above

for our freedom found first in His love

Ask Him to protect those fighting for our country,

in far off places, from sea to shining sea

to help us be mindful of all that we can celebrate,

Oh, let us give thanks for and on this important date!

Celebrating,

Evinda

The list goes on-From Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power and the series, “Why do bad things happen to good people?”

Thursday, June 23rd, 2011

Welcome to Coffee Hour@ Chicklit Power and thanks for sharing this time with me. Grab your coffee and let’s return to this list from my friend who is understandably frustrated, but blaming it all on God. Let’s go to a quiet and comfy place for more answers to why bad things happen to good people.

Getting back to my friend’s list/summary, I must admit that much of what is on it has been on mine in the past, and possibly yours as well, which is why I can understand the root of a lot of her disillusionment and her feelings of being abandoned by God. Unfortunately, from her perspective, everything that’s happened in her life has led her to this conclusion. As a matter of fact, her opening paragraph on her summary reads: “When I became a Christian in 1970 and gave my life to the Lord, thinking that He would take care of me forever, I had no idea that all these many years later I would feel so betrayed and left behind.” WAIT!

My friend actually has a sense of humor because right after that she says, “Wait, isn’t that a series of books?”It was kind of an oxy-moron to read such a painful sentence and then get that little funny clincher at the end there.

Let’s get back to the developing root. So she was pushed away off her father’s lap, consistently told she wouldn’t amount to anything or anyone and she says that she did not do well in school and she believes because she was always being compared to her sisters, but especially her sister born two years after her. STOP!

I think one of the worse things we can do to ourselves is to compare ourselves to someone else, especially a sibling. That kind of root can get so big and ugly it would take an act of God from the throne to do what only He can do. The truth about it all is when we begin to compare the various things that we tend to compare to others, such as houses, cars, clothes, job position, love life, measure of success – which is defined differently by one’s perspective — we have changed the direction of our focus. See, when we’re not looking vertically, but instead looking horizontally, we run the risk of not just bumping into jealousy, but full-on dancing with all its partners, bitterness, anger, hatred and rage. I love dancing, but not with those partners! 🙂

We must remember that things are never as they seem and we have to quit connecting the dots. No matter whom you compare yourself to, I guarantee you their world isn’t perfect and they have their own struggles. So the sooner we get our focus back on the blueprint for our own life and relationship with Him, the sooner we can enjoy our own ride through this life. Speaking of ride, let’s get back to my friend’s list. 🙂

She mentioned something else pretty significant: She says that she “felt” like she never fit in, anywhere, anyplace, anytime. She then goes on to assure me, or her, that she had friends, but to her they were “fair-weather” friends. In other words, they didn’t stick around. But here’s the interesting sentence that comes right after that: “My father was a tyrant who did not allow anyone to enter into our home and my mom did not know how to raise kids and be a mother to her kids.” STOP!

The Word is replete with examples of generational cycles. DETOUR AHEAD! We’ve got to take this detour to understand something VERY important in our own chronological history that encompasses our spirituality as well. Follow me!

A cycle is defined as: “a course or series of events or operations that recur regularly and usually lead back to the starting point.” So to get right to the point, there are numerous generational cycles: addictions such as alcohol, drug and sex addictions to name just a few. And then there are medical conditions/cycles such as diabetes, different forms of cancer, to name just a couple. And then there are many mental disorders: bipolar, multiple personality disorder, depression disorder, to name just a couple.

Much of what we suffer through can be traced back to a starting point and once we understand that, we have the choice to break the cycle and be free but it’s almost always never easy! Let me use a very personal and painful example to explain this a bit more. My mom was an alcoholic most of her life and one of the many tragedies of that disease was that the cycle was passed down to all of us. Now, I have never had a problem with alcohol, but I have definitely had my share of struggles with other addictions. Unfortunately, my sister chose not to break the cycle of alcoholism/addiction and she drank herself to death just three years ago at the age of 50! Talk about tragedy! 🙁

Now let’s bring this detour back to my friend and her mother and father. I’ve known her to be a very caring parent with a heart full of a mother’s love so I know in that regard, she broke the cycle but the fact that her father was probably fathered by a “tyrant,” and her mom didn’t know how to parent her children is a cycle that has spilled over into her life and influenced her in her own cycles.

Yes, she has chosen to break these two cycles — she has never been a tyrant to her kids and she has chosen to parent her kids — but the painful memories involving her dad being a tyrant and her mom not being a mom still have had a lot of power and influence over many aspects of her life. I should let you go because I know our time was a bit longer today, but I hope you can see the whole cycle analogy and recognize that we must get to the root of things in order to break free from them.:)

We’ll pick back up with this next week as we continue with her list and dig for answers to that tough question of why bad things happen to good people.

Have a happy day,

Evinda

 

 

The Men… Chapter 2 Continued From Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power

Tuesday, April 26th, 2011

Welcome to Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power and welcome back to the continuation of my first novel, The Men In & Out of Her Life.”  Grab your coffee and let’s get back to this “casual date” that Lacey’s on. It was one of those kind of dates that was set up by friends because everyone seems to think that the only way to be happy is to have someone! 🙂

They’ve just had a fun-filled day on the slopes and now they are all enjoying dinner. Lacey is somewhat sidetracked in her thoughts as she talks about the important “boy” in her life, her son Jake.

Jim’s voice surfaced above the memories. “I’d love to take him and Adam boarding sometime.”

Lacey turned her attention to him, touched by the offer. “I’m sure they’d love it and I bet they could almost keep up with you.”

“Doug’s told me that they love to board the half-pipe and that they’re pretty good at it. They probably could teach me a thing or two.”

“They still need someone to pull the reins in on them, though,” Doug said to his friend. “They can be a little too daring up there. They scare the heck out of me sometimes.”

“I can’t even watch them,” Martha said, her tone so full of exasperation that everyone laughed. The rest of the dinner conversation was lively and animated as Martha and Lacey shared stories about Adam and Jake’s shenanigans.

***

On the way home, Lacey slipped into a comfortable silence as Doug, Martha and Jim talked about plans for a boys’ day on the mountain. Lacey listened as the conversation switched to politics, Doug’s favorite subject, and the Christian Coalition, a group that Doug was very active in. She listened for a few minutes and then her mind wandered to Jake’s homecoming tomorrow, the things that she needed to get done before he came home. When they pulled up into her driveway, Jim offered to walk her to her door.

“That’s okay, really,” she declined with a big smile. “But thank you.” She opened the door and got out and walked quickly to her front door.

Doug’s lights shone right on the lock of her door. She put her key in, unlocked the door, turning to wave after she pushed it open. She watched the headlights pull out of the driveway before she closed the door. She let out a sigh of tired contentment and headed up the stairs to get ready for bed.

Minutes later, she pulled the covers down and arranged her pillows all the way down the opposite side of where she slept. Her last thought before drifting off to sleep was the realization that she hadn’t even thought about the possibility of Ian calling her.

Wow, have you ever done that; got so immersed in the moment that you were able to let go of thoughts that had previously consumed you? I love when that happens. That is the end of Chapter 2. I was wondering if I should keep going and give you a little more, and I think I will, so… May you stay in the moment today and come back tomorrow for the beginning of Chapter 3!

Sincerely,

Evinda