Posts Tagged ‘ocean’

How to Enter Deep Waters-from Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power

Thursday, February 20th, 2014
Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power...

Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power…

EL pen Logo with heartHave you ever been listening to a new worship song and the words and musicality of it just reached out and embraced you, took you in to a place you rarely go? A place where there is no one but you and Jesus and you are singing the words of the song with every ounce of your being because that’s where you are in life? The message in that song renders you in tears, and your heart and soul are entwined with your Creator. Oh, what a feeling, to bask in His presence, to feel as if you could go wherever He may call you.

I heard such a song about a month ago now, and every time I hear it come on the radio; I stop, I mean I emotionally slow down, and often I stop physically whatever it is I am doing so I can meditate on the words, words that are so powerfully relevant in my life, but also in the lives of friends and church family all around me. Tragedy is striking at a pace so swift that it is hard not to get caught up in waves of panic and oppression, tragedies that threaten to suck us in to the rip tide of negativity.

For me, music is a great escape, a way for my heart to stay soft and to communicate with my Father, a way to pour my heart out while pressing in to the only place that brings me perspective and peace: His presence.

For Valentine’s Day, I told my husband that all I wanted was some new worship music, especially a new worship CD with that song by Hillsong United, Oceans. I didn’t know it wasn’t “out” yet on a CD. He didn’t either until he went to the Christian bookstore and told them that’s what he wanted. They told him it’s not on a CD yet; it’s just a single but they’ve recorded several versions of it. The cool thing is that person offered to burn a copy of all the versions to a CD! And that was my Valentine’s Day gift. I’ll always cherish the joy with which he handed me that gift, as well as two other worship CDs and a book by my favorite author, Karen Kingsbury. It was such sweet thoughtfulness that will always squeeze my heart when I take the time to reflect upon it.

Little did I know how much I would need to press in the very next day, and

Oceans

Oceans

again and again; I’m getting hit hard. So I pressed in, and I listened to that song, sang it from my gut, the waves of trials of ours as well as those being endured by friends evident in every note I sang. At first, I was groaning from the pain of it all, but if you’ve ever heard this song, you can’t stay that way for long, because the chorus repeats itself, over and over again, and soon, I was confidently calling out His name, declaring that I would keep my eyes above the waves of trials, this new trial, and the one that came after that; that I will allow “His Spirit to lead me where my trust is without borders, let me walk upon the waters wherever He may call me; that He could take my feet deeper than I could ever wander but my faith would be made stronger in the presence of my Savior.”

Just three days later, He really did call me out into more deep waters, waters 1345506468168of forgiveness for someone who had broken my gift of trust, and it was so unexpected. With ever-so-wobbly legs, I rise, but just to a crawl for the pain is that bad. But as the words of this song begin to penetrate my heart, I stand just a bit taller, ready to hold His hand that He may hold me up with my wobbly legs and enter those waters filled with uncertainty for me, uncertainty because I don’t know how to love that person as though I’ve never been hurt. Oh, I forgive but how do I love without hurting.

My heart sings these words that I may live these words:

“You call me out upon the waters, the great unknown; my feet may fail. And there I find you in the mystery, in oceans deep my faith will stand. And I will call upon Your name and keep my eyes above the waves when oceans rise, my soul will rest in your embrace for I am Yours; You are mine.”

And my soul is reminded I am not alone:

“Your grace abounds in deepest waters. Your sovereign hand will be my guide. My feet may fail when fear surrounds me; you’ve never failed and you won’t stop now. So I will call upon your name and keep my eyes above the waves when oceans rise, my soul will rest in your embrace for I am Yours, and You are mine.” [Oh, Abba, I am yours. Thank You that You never leave me; You’re always there to love me through my hurt.]

And the cry of my heart becomes:

“Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders; let me walk upon the waters wherever you may call me. Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander and my faith will be made stronger in the presence of my Savior.”

And again:

“Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders; let me walk upon the waters wherever you may call me. Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander and my faith will be made stronger in the presence of my Savior.”

And again, and again, until I can see me walking on the water, my focus only on the One who will get me through it all.

You can’t stay in the same place when you are pressing in, and oh, what a better place it is when you come out! May I encourage you to press in . . . You can start now by clicking on this link, go where your feet have not wandered, and press in. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dy9nwe9_xzw&feature=kp

Walking on the waters of life with Him

Evinda

2014 Headshot

Creator Quiets Creation-from Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power November’s Wow

Friday, November 1st, 2013

Creator Quiets Creation

Mark 4:39

Then He arose and rebuked the wind and said to the sea,

Peace, be still. And the wind ceased and there was a great calm

EL pen Logo with heart

Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power...

Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power…

Whew, where in the world did the month of October fly off to? Don’t you find that the busier you are, the faster time flies? I’ve been looking forward to November for a while, and yet, now that it’s here, I wish we were still in October. Oh, if only time could stand still for a bit! Grab your coffee and come on in. It’s time for another WOW.

I’ve been studying the book of Mark for a couple of months and for those of you who have read all of the Gospels, don’t you think that Mark’s version is like a super fast roller coaster ride where you go so fast, you miss half of the sights? He definitely wasn’t a man of detail; he just went straight to the facts!

But, I am a girl who likes to dig, and I was coming to the end of chapter 4, and I saw three words that really stopped me in my thought process, and for moments, I was still with bewilderment. Let me explain a little of what comes before these awe-inspiring words.

Jesus has just finished a full day of pouring out of Himself through healing and teaching. He is literally exhausted. He so understands that weariness we often feel, especially if we are a wife and mom. How many of us can relate to that feeling of utter and complete exhaustion? Anyway, He tells the disciples, let’s get in the boat and go to the other side – (in so many words) and so they all get in the boat and proceed out to sea.

Now I am not able to glean from this particular interpretation how long they had been out to sea before a violent wind storm began, and I’m sure if I got the map out, and did some more digging, I could guesstimate, but what we do learn is that the disciples were freaking out. Why? Because the wind had caused the waves to toss so high that they were spilling into the boat and the boat was filling up. Now I don’t know about you, but I’d be freaking out too! As you can imagine, they went looking for Jesus and if you haven’t read this chapter of Mark, you will never believe where they find Him: Fast asleep on a pillow in the stern of the boat! He must have been passed out. That was one exhausted Savior!

Let’s stop there for a second or two. Have you ever been in the midst of a storm, not necessarily weather related, but financial, relational or physical and busted out in an all-out panic, forgetting who is captain of your ship? And haven’t you ever felt like you wanted to jump ship?

Oh, I can’t wait to share the spiritual significance of these three words that truly speak peace to the soul amidst a storm. Join me Monday for our conclusion.

Joyfully,

Evinda

kim L

Coffee in Kauai From Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power

Wednesday, September 19th, 2012

Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power

Thanks so much for stopping by today for the conclusion of Coffee in Kauai. All of us have been opportunities to create memories that make us smile. Isn’t our God an amazing God? Grab your coffee and come on in. We were in the midst of our final day on the Island.

Rodney and Cheryl went off to explore the other direction and from a distance I could see her

Ken & Barbie-oops, Rodney and Cheryl

enthusiasm. When we caught up with them, I understood why she was so excited. She and I share the same view about snorkeling; breathing under water is just not a concept that our brain grasps. But here, on this little walk at this beautiful beach we could, as she puts it, snorkel on top of the water!

We were able to see a few types of fish, some of them very, very tiny, and even an eel, or at least we thought it was one! Every time I rewind the memory and pause it on Rodney and Cheryl, it squeezes my heart. See, she has such a childlike enthusiasm and is consistently able to see the small things, be in the moments so as to not miss the small things. And Rodney, he’s a mover and her protector, and a man of depth.

As I lay there in silence beside George, I remember feeling a little sad, wishing I could stay, and I had a little heart-to-heart with Him where I felt as though He were testing me by asking me “If you could move here to Kauai anytime soon, would you?” I searched deep, deep in my soul, moving beyond the memories we had created in Kauai, the fun we had experienced and the lessons we had learned, and the answer I came up with was, No, I wouldn’t because of ministry and family. If He don’t ordain it, then I don’t want it. I’ll have my Kauai in Heaven!

I can remember, as we picked up all of our stuff and made our way over to the showers, feeling so grateful for all that He had shown us on this trip, beginning with His beautiful creation, of course, and the ability to truly enjoy it. I was sad to leave, but so grateful to have been refreshed, to be able to say I am not the same physically, emotionally and spiritually girl I was the first day on the island.

When I came out of the restroom, the guys had befriended a local guy and blessed him with our ice chest of leftovers, for which he was openly appreciative. When Cheryl told me that the guy thought George and I were locals, I smiled as I remembered thinking when I first met George that he looked like an island boy!

Thank you RC!

We stopped for a bite to eat before heading off to turn the car back in and check in for our flight. All of that happened without drama and as we were boarding for the plane, something I had wondered about ever since printing our boarding pass became clear to me. Through some divine intervention, we received an upgrade to business class and while it meant earlier boarding – which I could care less about as I’m not a fan of being cooped up in and on an airplane – but it meant more leg room, which is something I desperately needed in order to spend the night on that thing! And here I thought I’d be up most of the night and maybe do some writing! He had other plans and I actually got a few hours of sleep!

The landing was one of the best, and as we got our luggage and began to walk toward the shuttle, we made plans to share one more meal together at a very popular place in Los Angeles! Darn it, I forgot the name again! The food was good and the company great. We were back to a different reality, a reality that began to tug on all of us as we talked about what we needed to do when we got home. Rodney and Cheryl were moving their daughter Tina into her dorm later that day, after dropping off a load of shower gifts at their other daughter’s, Jaime. We had our first event planning meeting and Bryden was coming back home today as well. Yes, we all had a full plate waiting in each of our realities!

Music that makes my heart sing

last Kauai sunrise

Thank you so much for sharing this time with me. Let me share one more thing with you that is spilling out of my heart through my fingers as I write this for you: Things go better with prayer! See, I think the thing that squeezed my heart the most about this trip — and maybe it’s because it was bathed in prayer – is the truth that the trip had ended with a stronger friendship than when it began, and it really could have not been that way but for the grace of God!

Have a beautiful day, and join me tomorrow for more of the series we left when we started this, Nana Holds!

 

Blessed beyond belief,

Evinda

 

Coffee in Kauai-From Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power

Thursday, September 6th, 2012

Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power

Thanks so much for stopping by for a little coffee break today and more of our Kauai moments. Grab your coffee and come with me as I walk ever so carefully to the pier.

I all but forgot my own pain as I made my way up and onto the pier still in a hunched-back position. Where had all these people come from? I hadn’t noticed these people while having lunch and I was somewhat surprised at the camaraderie that was evident on the pier. The realization of this being a locals’ hangout lingered in my thoughts as I walked closer and closer to the end of the pier where the person in the wheelchair was.

There was a little boy sitting on the edge of the pier helping another person who was struggling with her line. As I walked closer, I could hear the excitement coming from him. The person he was helping had actually caught a little fish. At first glance, I thought for sure it was a man, but as I made my way right up to them, I discovered it was an older woman, obviously a native, her skin leathered by the sun, her hair short and white with a couple of sprinkles of pepper. I looked down at the fish, now thrashing on the ground and I was surprised at how small it was. Surely she’ll put it back, no? She got up out of her chair and quite adeptly pulled the hook out of the little fish’s mouth and slung it into her ice chest and sat back down preparing her fishing line for another victim.                                                                                                                                                                                            

Andy, “local” 10-year-old boy

I glanced over to the person in the wheelchair and my breath caught in my throat. It was a woman, and she had a tube around her throat that ran down the side of her and was lost somewhere in between her flesh and the wheelchair. When she spoke, she spoke into the tube and the girl who had pushed her there came to her side. I couldn’t quite make out what she said, but the girl left and came back with a baggie of what looked to be bloody something. What, I have no idea.

The woman reached her hand in there and felt around for what she was looking for and brought it up and out of the baggie. I nearly gagged, but my eyes remained on her. She attached it to her homemade line, and then cast it out into the ocean. I continued to watch her. I wasn’t trying to be rude; I just wondered what her story was, why she was as big as she was, why she had that tube on and around her, and yet, bless her big heart, here she was fishing! Have you ever been so curious about someone that you stayed stuck in a stare?

The tug on her line broke my trance and I watched as she pulled up an even smaller fish than the lady to her left. By this time Rodney was there watching, too, and he said, “Is that a fish?” She looked at him and her expression said a thousand words, but the words she spoke were: “No, that’s not a fish! Of course it’s a fish.” Then she laughed. She had a sense of humor, albeit sarcastic, she had a sense of humor. Her size, her disabilities didn’t get in the way of her God-given need to laugh, to be out there with the other locals despite her circumstances.

I stayed and watched for a little bit more, talking with the little boy for a few minutes who said he was definitely a local boy, an island boy, though really what I wanted to be doing was talking with this lady in the wheelchair, to connect with her and find out her story, her beliefs, learn more about her. This doesn’t happen very often, but I was actually at a loss for words. I had no idea how to even begin to have a conversation with her, so I didn’t. I left there sad and encouraged at the same time; sad because how quick was I to judge a book by its cover, wondering why she had allowed herself to become so big. Staring at her on the pier, a crooked smile on her face as she responded to Rodney, I realize, once again, that we never have all the pieces of one’s life, their story. Yes, I was truly encouraged by the disabled woman’s tenacity, that though she was wheelchair bound, she wasn’t home bound. Could she be someone who was trying to live outside her circumstances?

Join me Monday for more Kauai moments. We will actually be moving on to Thursday, a very interesting day for sure!

Blessings,

Evinda

 

Me & My Bestie

Coffee in Kauai From Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power

Wednesday, August 22nd, 2012

Coffee in Kauai

Thanks so much for taking time to join me today for a little break. I know life can be full of distractions at times, and hopefully you will be glad you came! Grab your coffee and let’s get back to where we left off. . . Oh, yeah, the burning sand. Incidentally, I found out as we were leaving that the name of this beach is “Barking Sand” Beach! Barking is not what I was doing when my feet were getting burned, but how ironic. Hmm, makes me wonder! 🙂

So after Rodney set me down, he went back and got the ice chests he had to leave behind and George helped him. At first I felt like such a fool, a wimp, but then I saw that Cheryl had closed-toe shoes on and Georges sandals are a closed toe sandal. But Rodney, I don’t know; I think he’s just a nature boy in a man’s body and I swear he has a pain tolerance of a thousand.

Anyway, we settled in on some damp sand – I didn’t want to burn my butt, too! 🙂 We made sandwiches, drinks, and then George and Rodney went out to do some boogie boarding and Cheryl and I stayed put, enjoying the sun, our friendship and definitely loving watching them, especially when I looked up to see George’s feet straight up in the air and realized that the boogie board had escaped, sending him flat on his back. And then he got up and went right back out and rode some pretty good waves in for some pretty good rides. And Rodney, well, let’s just say I think he must have been born in the water. Cheryl and I both agreed, going out there where we were was not on our agendas.

Heads up . . . I mean legs up!

When they came back in, we sat and talked for a while and then Cheryl and I decided to go get wet, ever so gently of course. Well, the current had a different idea and before we knew it, we were both soaked and laughing.

I don’t even know how this happened, and I’m still having a hard time believing that it happened, but the guys managed to get us both out there on those darned boogie boards. To say I was scared is an understatement, kind of like the kayak trip we took several months back. The memory of that must have helped dissolve some of my fears because I went out there, I mean really out there, clinging to this board made of Styrofoam as if it could save my life!

Going out there was actually not bad, just like in kayaking; once you get past the first few waves, you face the rest head on and just bob right over them. The trick is coming back, knowing when to run like heck while clinging to your board, and when to get on the board and ride the wave in. Well, Cheryl did really well. I, on the other hand, ate it not once, but twice, and the second one was a nose dive! Want to know what happened when I came up? I was laughing!

I actually went out again before we left, wanting to get it right, feeling so good about conquering yet another fear, thankful to God for HIS mercy and for my husband and Rodney’s patience. I wonder if I could do this at home.

After several hours at the beach we headed for the famous blow hole. There were a lot of people who had the same idea! We pulled up and I was surprised at the changes. There was now a fence surrounding it so you couldn’t walk down to it like we were able to do a few years prior. And it seemed as though the volcanic rock had grown, gotten wider. I was a little disappointed that we couldn’t take Rodney and Cheryl down there, but the beauty was still so captivating.

After that, we headed back to WalMart for a couple things we realized we forgot, came home, made dinner, and crashed! Wow, what a full day! I was so content as I lay my head down and thanked Him for a beautiful day of being in the Kauai moments of which there had already been so many and this was only Sunday!

Join me tomorrow for more Kauai moments.

Refreshed,

Evinda

Kauai Memories

 

 

 

 

Kauai Sunrise, my guy, and coffee too!

Coffee in Kauai From Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power

Tuesday, August 21st, 2012

Coffee in Kauai

Welcome to Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power, and thanks for joining me for Coffee in Kauai. I hope you are enjoying the moments I’m sharing as much as I am sharing them with you.

By the time George showered, I got our coffee, beach towel, and iPod, it’s still dark outside but I am so anxious not to miss the sunrise, I’m about bust out the slider. Well maybe not quite that dramatic, but anyhow…

How do I describe this amazing moment? Sitting on the beach, able to make out the clouds by the shadow they cast upon the water, the wind blowing in sync with the crashing of the waves on the shoreline, and my husband right beside me, sharing my iPod, one ear bud in his ear, and one in mine, listening to amazing worship music with one ear and to His creation with the other. All I can say is it is well with my soul!

He’s painting a beautiful one!

getting closer to rising . . .

Waiting for Him to paint the glorious sunrise, I felt like a little girl waiting for a gift that she knows she’s going to get but not sure when. I was beginning to think maybe He forgot, because it seemed like forever. Truth is, we got our times mixed up; it wasn’t 5:00 but more like 6:20, but it was worth it! I just knew He was going to paint us a beautiful one.

Magnificiant!

Rodney & Cheryl

After that, we went in and got ready for a run, all of us! Yes, that’s right, my husband too! There’s a bike/running/walking trail that goes for over two miles with the ocean as the backdrop. I could so get used to this.

Immediately when we got back, we walked over to the Jacuzzi. When I put my foot in, I nearly gasped from the heat, so inch by inch, ever so slowly, I let myself in up to my waist. Within minutes the soreness and stiffness that had taken residency all throughout my body began to evaporate like water on a hot day. That was a good move.

Kauai Sunrise, my guy, and coffee too!

We made breakfast, ate, and then packed an ice chest with food and drinks and headed for an adventure, destination? Unknown! Actually, we set out for Kauai’s Grand Canyon, and the road was closed – we later saw it was because of a fire — so we chose to take our Ford Focus on a dirt road that had a sign that said “Only four-wheel drive vehicles allowed beyond this point.” Well, Rodney was driving and he didn’t let the sign stop him. Of course, he was encouraged by two others. I was keeping my mouth shut but my mind was screaming, Oh great, this is all we need; to get stuck on a dirt road! I can be such a fuddy-duddy at times. 🙂

Cheryl was navigating from a paper map, and we had GPS along for the ride, too. Incidentally, the GPS was telling us to get the heck off the road, and Cheryl was saying there was a state park of some sort. So we kept on going and eventually we got a nice arrow on the GPS, too! When we finally came to the end of the road, what we came to stole our breaths away!

We parked in a real forestry area and saw shimmers of turquoise blue in between the foliage, and as soon as we opened our doors, we could hear the music of the ocean. We came to a couple of women who looked to be natives. They were camping there and were nice enough to  give us a brief rundown, telling us about the current, that it wasn’t real safe, but you could get in as long as you were careful. We stood at their campsite for a couple of minutes more and as we turned to go, one of them added, “The sand is really hot, so make sure you wear shoes.”

I didn’t disregard what she said, but I did take it rather lightly; after all, I had my flip flops on and I was a regular at walking in the sand of beaches. We began to make our way down. Rodney walked ahead of me and Cheryl was behind me. George was nowhere to be found but I found out later, after the rescue, that he was in the restroom changing. I don’t think I took more than 50 steps, trying desperately to walk lightly without sinking in the sand when I realized there was a fire burning, not around me but on my feet! I tried not to panic. !#$%^^&*(*)_)_++

I don’t remember screaming but the next thing I do remember is Rodney coming over to me and gesturing to get on his back! He said, “Come on, get on. This beach is too beautiful for us to go back now.” I looked ahead, and I looked behind. I had no choice; my feet were on fire. Rodney seemed to sense my hesitancy but wouldn’t take no for an answer. I don’t know how he did it, because you just know he had to be sinking even deeper into the sand with me on his back, and weren’t his feet burning and on fire? But a couple of hundred steps later, he planted me on my feet on cool ground!

The burning sand . . .

He gave me the rainbow right before He finished painting the Sunrise!

Join me tomorrow for more Kauai moments,

Reminiscing,

Evinda

Fears are like . . . From Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power

Monday, November 21st, 2011

Welcome to Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power and thanks for joining me today. We are going to be returning to the original fear that began this whole series, so grab your coffee and join me in the kayak out in the middle of the ocean, or so it feels like, and we’ve just gone through two waves.

(okay, so we weren’t kayaking in the glaciers, but you get the picture!:) )

I was gasping for air, sputtering water out of my mouth, and trying desperately to get the water out of my eyes so I could see, all while trying to scream, begging not only George but the guy who was directing us right to and through the waves, to get me the heck out of the kayak. I didn’t want to go through with it; I wanted out. George’s reassurances were going over my head, just like the prior two waves had.

“Pu- — le- — ee- — ee- — ase let me out,” I managed to gasp as I turned to face my husband again.

“Turn around” the guy screamed back.

I turned around as I was told to, but begrudgingly. The wave was right at the tip of the kayak. The scream froze in my throat, and I don’t know what was louder; the beat of my heart or the crashing wave that spilled up and over us, nearly knocking me out of the kayak. Suddenly I felt a jerk, and then George’s voice commanded me to begin paddling. The guy had pushed us off into the wave and he was no longer hanging on to us! 🙁

“Left, right; left, right,” he mimicked, trying to sound like a drill sergeant. I was still gasping for air, and though my chest didn’t feel as though there was someone in there playing a bongo drum, I was shaking pretty bad, so bad I couldn’t even speak.

“You’re doing good, honey. Just keep paddling.”

Oh, I would keep paddling all right, but so help me, I wanted to put that paddle somewhere other than in the water! 🙂 I bit my tongue and swallowed the retort I had on my tongue; after all, I had just been spared from drowning and delivered through my fear of the waves, one of my biggest fears ever, and I certainly didn’t want to appear ungrateful!

So yes, I got through it, but the best part is yet to come; the revelation from the fear! Join me tomorrow for more.

Joyfully,

Evinda

P.S. Don’t forget to join us today for Blog Talk Radio at 1:00 Pacific time for more of our Destination? Joyful! show, Unpacking the junk one piece at a time!

 

Fears are like . . . From Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power

Wednesday, November 9th, 2011

Welcome to Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power and thanks for joining me today. I love knowing there’s you and that you are taking a break from the demands of your life to come to Coffee Hour. I pray that today will encourage you forward in your journey, and if you have any fears, that the revelation I’m sharing will cast a light of understanding on them and help you face them. Grab your coffee and come on in! 🙂

We managed to walk at least a mile away from all the kayaking and so I tried to allow the sounds of the waves calm my fears. See, that’s what’s crazy about this, because I love to go to the beach and sit. It’s like the greatest anti-anxiety medicine for me. No matter what is going on in my life, in my head, with my heart, I can sit on the beach, look at the waves, listen to them roar, and be inspired, calmed, relieved and I always leave better than when I came. Looking at them is different than being in them!

As we got to the check-in spot to receive our kayaks, I saw a couple walking up and the girl caught my eye. She was shivering and I thought it was from the cold but as she came closer, I saw that she had a golf-ball sized bump on her head and she was beginning to cry. And no one from the kayak place was even aware that she had had a terrible spill, or they were not doing anything about it, anyway. The guy that was with her led her to the little decking that had been built for people to leave their shoes and leaned her against it so he could look at the goose egg that seemed to be growing from where I was standing.

I had to know what had happened. There was no way in h-e double toothpicks that I was going out in a kayak with the high possibility of it tipping over and no one paying attention! No way! No how! Huh-uh! I walked over to the couple and she was still shivering and full-blown tears were crawling down her face. I asked the first thing that came to my mind: “Are you okay?”

Her husband spoke up for her. “She’s okay.” The glare that she gave him contradicted his answer.

My curiosity got the best of me. “So what happened? Did that happen out there?”

She nodded her head up and down. “We got dumped and the kayak hit me on the head when I was under!”

My mouth fell open, and I stood there. It’s a wonder the bugs that fly around the seaweed didn’t come on in to stay for awhile! What he said next just about sent me back to Joe’s car.

“She doesn’t swim, so I think that made it worse. She freaked out pretty bad.”

She affirmed what he had said. “I never learned how to swim, and the ocean really scares me and now I know why. I will never, ever swim in the ocean!”

All I could do was agree with her. “You should probably get some ice on that bump of hers,” I told her husband. I looked up at her and smiled. “Whatever you do, don’t go to sleep for a while.” I tried to smile and wished them both well.

Now how in the world was I supposed to go out there?

Fearfully,

Evinda

 

 

 

Fears are like . . . From Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power

Wednesday, October 26th, 2011

Welcome to Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power and thanks so much for joining me today for a cup of coffee and this new series, “Fears are like . . . “ I truly hope that this story will bring revelation in your life and take root in your heart and life. Grab your coffee and come on in! 🙂

So I have just announced that I was not going to be kayaking after all. Suddenly, my carefree day had gone sour and what I thought I was looking forward to was carried out to sea by the waves of fear that were threatening to overtake me, just like the waves had all those years ago.

“So where did you think we were going?” Joe said from the driver’s seat.

“You said we were going to the caves.” I sounded like a petulant toddler needing to have her diaper changed, even to my own ears.

“And that’s still where we’re going.”                                               The silence was deafening and the tension suffocating, but I didn’t care. “I didn’t think we were going in the ocean,” I managed to stammer.

“Where else can you kayak if not at the beach?” Joe was trying to be good-natured, and even invested a little bit of energy coming up with jokes. Everyone else laughed but me. All I could think of was waves, and I was more than a little frustrated with getting myself into this pickle.

George’s gentle voice brought me back to the tense air in the car. “It’s going to be okay,” he assured me. I listened as he explained to Joe and Janine how I could have made such a big mistake in my kayaking geography. “When we kayaked in Kauai, it was more like a river in a forest so that’s what she was probably thinking it was going to be like.”

I was grateful for my husband’s explanation for my misunderstanding and tried to smile my appreciation to him, but at the mention of Kauai, my eyes welled up. Oh, if I could only be there, anywhere but here, I miserably thought to myself.

He began to rub my arm gently, and Janine turned around to look at me and offer some words meant to be encouraging, and if it had been about anything else but kayaking in waves, I might have been encouraged. She even went as far to say something about there weren’t going to be any waves today and the surfers were not happy.

The crazy thing about this is the ocean is my favorite place to be, as long as I’m not IN it! I mean, I love to go boating but boating is WAY different from kayaking in many ways. The biggest difference is it’s really easy to tip a kayak! Just the thought of it and I tense up. I used to enjoy cruises, too, but the older I get the more claustrophobic I get.

Sitting at the beach, on the sand, is one of my most very favorite things to do. Nothing calms me like the sound of the waves, which He controls. Nothing inspires me like the sound of the waves as I sit on the sand and watch them. Whenever I do go to the beach and if it’s really hot, the most I’ll do is go in to my waist, and even then I’m gasping in fear. If I’m feeling real brave, I might bend down and let my head get wet. That’s on a real strong day! 🙂 But swimming in the ocean, absolutely not, not only no, but heck no!

“I’m really sorry, you guys,” I apologized from the back seat while almost curling up in the corner. George tried to tell me that I was going to kayak, and when he saw that wasn’t working, he gave up and joined my refusal to kayak all the while keeping his good-natured attitude. “That’s okay; you guys can kayak and we’ll sit on the beach, or maybe go for a walk.”

Oh, how sweet, I thought to myself. I still was a bit irritated with him for not only minimizing my fear, but actually making fun of me!  I watched the landscape go by and wondered how a day that had started out so filled with excitement and promises of fun could take a sharp turn down Nightmare Lane so quickly.

I began to kick myself inwardly as I realized I had been so ready for fun that I had come with nothing to do, nothing to read, no laptop to sit and work on, just my purse. The thought of sitting with him on the beach while he found ways to remind me that we should be out there kayaking with our friends was nothing I would willingly do, either.

I haven’t been in such a state of mind for I don’t know how long, but I am not the type of person, anymore that is, that can stay in an emotionally miserable place, either. I usually like to work through these tough times by looking for the good, finding a win/win way out, if you will.

Join me tomorrow for more of this saga of fear!

Smiling,

Evinda

 

Fears are like . . . From Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power

Tuesday, October 25th, 2011

Welcome to Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power and thanks so much for coming by today and joining me for this new series which started in my heart a couple of months ago. Grab your coffee and come on in. 🙂

There are those revelations that are so life-changing in a subtle and mind-boggling way so as to stay in your heart and mind forever and yet, I am still surprised at the role they play in our journey of life, especially in those hard-to-maneuver circumstances. Many revelations splash perspective in tough seasons and bring calm to chaos. Have you ever had one of those? Unfortunately, many of the realizations from the revelations we receive don’t plant in our hearts and our lives, but this particular revelation about fear is still reverberating in my heart and mind and it is one of those that I’m not likely to forget.

It’s also a revelation that can’t be kept to myself; It’s meant to be shared. So as long as I am allowed to be in ministry and encourage others, this revelation will have a ripple effect, if you will, helping not only myself as I come face to face with fears, but any and all who dare to face their fears. Let me share this with you in the way I know best, a story.

I leaned back in the seat and let out one of those sighs that whispered relief. It was so good to be on our way to something fun. I was looking so forward to spending time with our friends and I was really excited about how we were going to spend the day. We were going to La Jolla for some kayaking. The friends we were going with had gone a few weeks prior and they had told us how much fun it was. My hubby, who is not one for rigorous activity, was even looking forward to it, although after kayaking in Kauai, he said the only way he’d go again is if the kayak had a motor! 🙂 So when he agreed to going, I was super excited about the getaway.

We stopped at Starbucks and then got back in the car and headed for La Jolla. I’m not sure how long we’d been flying on the freeway – yes, I said flying, because Joe has an incredibly heavy foot that is heavier than my lead foot 🙂 — but the word “waves” caught my attention. I had been leaning back, listening to the background music on the radio while partially listening to their conversation.

I sat up in my seat, grabbed my hubby’s hand and continued to listen as Joe talked about kayaking at the beach. “I thought you went kayaking around the caves” I exclaimed.

“We did.”

“So why are you talking about the beach?” Panic was rising from my toes and by now, it was in my gut and traveling upwards fast.

My husband began laughing. “Where else do you think we’re going to kayak?”

I, for one of those very rare moments in life, was at a loss for words. The panic had reached my gut and turned into a full-blown fear and it was growing, and I mean seriously growing.

My husband recognized “the look” in my eyes and began to tease me a little bit. “This was all your idea, mamma.”

Again, I was speechless.

“It’s too late now,” my husband continued to taunt. “There’s no backing out now.”

Finally, the fear let go of my tongue long enough for me to say “I’m not kayaking in the ocean.” I couldn’t even tell you the expression on any of their faces because all I could see were gigantic waves overtaking me, just like they had when I was 12 years old and a lifeguard came out and rescued me and saved my life, but not before having to perform CPR.

Join me tomorrow for more . . .:)

Fearfully but confidently,

Evinda