Posts Tagged ‘tears’

Power Friday from Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power

Friday, August 1st, 2014
Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power...

Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power…

EL pen Logo with heart

Thanks so much for joining me! It’s been a long time since we’ve done Power Fridays, and I’m bummed to not have Jeff’s Java Hour @ Chicklit Power for you today, but he’s getting ready for the biggest change in his life, and during this preparation period, he’s been going through something incredibly emotional, so I guess we can grace him out for this week, but he will be back with us next week, but from TEXAS! I’ll give you a little hint; he shares something powerful from his heart that’s going on inside his heart as it relates to his earthly dad and his Heavenly Father. So grab your coffee and come on in for our Friday power thought that I pray will encourage you in your journey!

So speaking of a big change, I’m about to go through one as well because what affects my son affects me, too. See, he’s leaving with his family on Monday to Austin, Texas! I can’t even begin to tell you how many tears I’ve cried at the mere mention of him and my daughter-in-love and my favorite little nine-year-old and five-year-old being in another state! But I know they are called there and good things await for them. They’ve prayed every step of the way, walked through only divine opened doors and a new and exciting life awaits them …. 1150 miles away!

That’s where this power thought comes from and I pray that if you are going through a situation that brings tears to your heart, that the truth within this power thought will lighten your heart and dry your eyes:

Joy is not a denial of painful circumstances but a certainty while in them of what He will work from them!

Looking forward to what He will do, here and in Austin, Texas!

kim L

Evinda

 

 

 

How to Enter Deep Waters-from Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power

Thursday, February 20th, 2014
Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power...

Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power…

EL pen Logo with heartHave you ever been listening to a new worship song and the words and musicality of it just reached out and embraced you, took you in to a place you rarely go? A place where there is no one but you and Jesus and you are singing the words of the song with every ounce of your being because that’s where you are in life? The message in that song renders you in tears, and your heart and soul are entwined with your Creator. Oh, what a feeling, to bask in His presence, to feel as if you could go wherever He may call you.

I heard such a song about a month ago now, and every time I hear it come on the radio; I stop, I mean I emotionally slow down, and often I stop physically whatever it is I am doing so I can meditate on the words, words that are so powerfully relevant in my life, but also in the lives of friends and church family all around me. Tragedy is striking at a pace so swift that it is hard not to get caught up in waves of panic and oppression, tragedies that threaten to suck us in to the rip tide of negativity.

For me, music is a great escape, a way for my heart to stay soft and to communicate with my Father, a way to pour my heart out while pressing in to the only place that brings me perspective and peace: His presence.

For Valentine’s Day, I told my husband that all I wanted was some new worship music, especially a new worship CD with that song by Hillsong United, Oceans. I didn’t know it wasn’t “out” yet on a CD. He didn’t either until he went to the Christian bookstore and told them that’s what he wanted. They told him it’s not on a CD yet; it’s just a single but they’ve recorded several versions of it. The cool thing is that person offered to burn a copy of all the versions to a CD! And that was my Valentine’s Day gift. I’ll always cherish the joy with which he handed me that gift, as well as two other worship CDs and a book by my favorite author, Karen Kingsbury. It was such sweet thoughtfulness that will always squeeze my heart when I take the time to reflect upon it.

Little did I know how much I would need to press in the very next day, and

Oceans

Oceans

again and again; I’m getting hit hard. So I pressed in, and I listened to that song, sang it from my gut, the waves of trials of ours as well as those being endured by friends evident in every note I sang. At first, I was groaning from the pain of it all, but if you’ve ever heard this song, you can’t stay that way for long, because the chorus repeats itself, over and over again, and soon, I was confidently calling out His name, declaring that I would keep my eyes above the waves of trials, this new trial, and the one that came after that; that I will allow “His Spirit to lead me where my trust is without borders, let me walk upon the waters wherever He may call me; that He could take my feet deeper than I could ever wander but my faith would be made stronger in the presence of my Savior.”

Just three days later, He really did call me out into more deep waters, waters 1345506468168of forgiveness for someone who had broken my gift of trust, and it was so unexpected. With ever-so-wobbly legs, I rise, but just to a crawl for the pain is that bad. But as the words of this song begin to penetrate my heart, I stand just a bit taller, ready to hold His hand that He may hold me up with my wobbly legs and enter those waters filled with uncertainty for me, uncertainty because I don’t know how to love that person as though I’ve never been hurt. Oh, I forgive but how do I love without hurting.

My heart sings these words that I may live these words:

“You call me out upon the waters, the great unknown; my feet may fail. And there I find you in the mystery, in oceans deep my faith will stand. And I will call upon Your name and keep my eyes above the waves when oceans rise, my soul will rest in your embrace for I am Yours; You are mine.”

And my soul is reminded I am not alone:

“Your grace abounds in deepest waters. Your sovereign hand will be my guide. My feet may fail when fear surrounds me; you’ve never failed and you won’t stop now. So I will call upon your name and keep my eyes above the waves when oceans rise, my soul will rest in your embrace for I am Yours, and You are mine.” [Oh, Abba, I am yours. Thank You that You never leave me; You’re always there to love me through my hurt.]

And the cry of my heart becomes:

“Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders; let me walk upon the waters wherever you may call me. Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander and my faith will be made stronger in the presence of my Savior.”

And again:

“Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders; let me walk upon the waters wherever you may call me. Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander and my faith will be made stronger in the presence of my Savior.”

And again, and again, until I can see me walking on the water, my focus only on the One who will get me through it all.

You can’t stay in the same place when you are pressing in, and oh, what a better place it is when you come out! May I encourage you to press in . . . You can start now by clicking on this link, go where your feet have not wandered, and press in. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dy9nwe9_xzw&feature=kp

Walking on the waters of life with Him

Evinda

2014 Headshot

Nana Holds-from Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power

Thursday, November 7th, 2013
Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power...

Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power…

EL pen Logo with heart

It’s great to have this time with you. I truly cherish sharing these truths that keep coming to the surface of my heart as I walk through this season of parenting our grandson. Several times in a given week, I hear about this very situation and what seems to be happening more and more: Parents parenting their children’s children. I am convinced, now more than ever, that this is an opportunity of redemption for the generation! Grab your coffee and join me for our coffee break.

So Bryce wound up staying with Jene’ and her family the first couple of nights, though he did come home a couple of hours after Rodney and Cheryl left so we could talk, and he brought Jene’ with him and Bryden, too. The highlight of those moments came in the form of yet another revelation as I sat and truly listened to him, trying with all my might to bring my defenses down so I could truly hear him and keep my opinions and frustration to myself.

As he sat there on the couch and shared his frustration with the program he had been in for the previous eight months, I suddenly realized that the truth of God’s love for him had not made that twelve inch leap to his heart and having it literally crammed down his throat daily had only clogged the way to his heart and not opened it, really.

Little did I know that this particular analogy would come alive and begin to form the basis for our Transform Trench class! See, there is something good about each and every recovery program, and there’s no such thing as a perfect one, but I truly have come to learn with all my life experience and being a particularly interested bystander in others’ experiences, especially with my son and step son, that in order to be able to receive the truth of God’s love, the pipe has to be unclogged which takes getting to the root. Don’t get me wrong; I’m not saying that His word doesn’t aid in that unclogging. I’m merely saying that if we were to combine the truths of His word with some other powerful exercises to remove the clog, wouldn’t His love be able to flow through easier, and thus free one from one’s hurt, habit and/or hang-up? Oh, so much to think about and I’m super excited as this concept swirls in my mind and resonates in my heart because I know that there were many clogs in the pipe leading to my heart before I was truly able to receive His love and thereby free the large pieces that blocked the truths of Christ.

Anyway, sitting there listening to him, I wasn’t thinking about all of this, but I did totally understand where he was at, as I was taken back to my days of being in the system in a foster home with foster parents that literally drug me up to the altar and said “you come to Jesus or you’re going back to McClaren Hall!”

What’s amazing is even though that definitely wasn’t His way, He still used it and here I am, all these years later, writing from my heart to yours for and with Him!

As frustrated as I was with Bryce, I was able to empathize with him without sacrificing my convictions and/or my boundaries.

He calls her Ja, Ja. Jene'!

He calls her Ja, Ja. Jene’!

And the beautiful thing that came out of that conversation was a picture that brings tears to my eyes as it comes to the surface of my heart. At the end of it, George asked Bryce and Jene’ to join us on the floor so we could pray, and there, we sat in a circle, joined hands and as George began to pray, he was stopped by his own sobs as tears ran down his face and he cried out to God for help in this situation.

Yes, friend, God uses all things, rights the wrongs and sets us on higher ground in the process!

Join me Monday for more

Evinda

Nana Holds!

Nana Holds!

 

Think like a Sheep-From Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power

Wednesday, June 13th, 2012

Coffee Hour!

It’s so good to have you join me for a little break. Grab your coffee and let’s get back to this sweet series taken from the 23rd Psalm, a series that began because of a term paper I got to write! 🙂

Back to Single by Evinda Lepins

The Book that started it all is RELEASED!

I need to rewind just a bit to the part of the Shepherd restoring our souls. Recently I watched with incredible sadness as a sheep very close to my heart wandered, and is now lying broken, in dire need of restoration. His dad weeps for him and the pain is like no other, in fact, it is indescribable. In those moments of weeping, I felt not only his pain, but I experienced just a tiny glimpse of how and what the Shepherd feels when His sheep wander. He weeps also.

As I watched this man hunched over weeping, I saw the shadow of our Shepherd weeping, too. Our Shepherd is incredibly sad when we wander and even more sad when He has to allow some breaking to take place, but I know that I know that I know that He loves us so much that He will go to unimaginable depths to get our attention so the restoration can begin. I feel that in my bones, in the depth of my soul and with all of my being. Pain is such an eye opener and yet, cleansing too if we allow it.

We, like sheep, often take the first path that interests us, or the path that looks to be the easiest, or the quickest. 99.9 percent of the time, that is not the path that the Shepherd is leading us to.

I didn’t take that little detour to depress you, but to impress upon you the reality of the necessity of our Shepherd’s direction in our lives that we may walk down those paths of righteousness and Godly instruction instead of evil and horrible destruction.

I’m realizing more and more that the Shepherd is more concerned with “what” we are than “where” we are. See, when we let the Shepherd guide, He promises to provide. When we think of our Shepherd leading us, we need to remember that He doesn’t just lead to the right places, but to the right circumstances, all to lead us to the right kind of life. If we are becoming what He wants us to be, He’ll have no problem placing us where we need to be!

happy sheep

Join me tomorrow as we move on to: for His name’s sake.

Sheepishly,

Evinda

Five Ways to Succeed in Life and Love-From Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power

Monday, February 27th, 2012

Welcome to Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power and thanks so much for joining me today for a break. I can’t tell you how much it blesses me to share these discoveries with you. Grab your coffee and come on in and get comfy. I may need to keep you a few extra minutes today! 🙂 Let’s get back to this first word, the first way to succeed in life and love.

I feel compelled to rewind just a wee bit to the truth I talked about last week, that my emotional and spiritual well-being are no longer wrapped up in my husband and/or my son. I don’t in any way mean to sound flippant when I profess this. I know that the need for love and acceptance, the desire to feel needed are forces within us that can steer us so far out of control, and can even blind us to this truth that once revealed, sparkles so brilliantly that darkness can no longer prevail.

As I write this, I can’t help but see the faces of several women I know who are in such a downward spiral in their search for love that their behavior is nearly unrecognizable, as if something else is controlling their choices; someone else is controlling their attitudes. Oh, Father, help me to paint a picture with words that describes this for them.

It’s coming . . . I’ve got it. Come with me!

Imagine this with me: A room that is dark, not a speck of light shining through the closed door, but through it I can hear someone moaning as if in pain, and yet, it sounds – sad, that’s it; the pain is coming from her heart. The sound is almost guttural. I put my hand on the handle to open the door, but I’m incredibly hesitant to do so and intrude into her pain. I take my hand off, but something tells me I must go inside.

I open the door and the light from the hall lessens the darkness and I am able to see a shadow of a woman on the ground, literally crawling on her hands and knees. She’s saying something but the words are lost in the moaning that is turning into crying. Let me get a little closer.

She’s so entwined in her pain that she doesn’t hear me or see me, but then again, the room is dark enough to cover my shadow that is getting closer to her. I can literally feel the pain and bitterness all around the room and it is almost suffocating. What is she saying?

“Where is –“sobs choke the rest of the sentence and since she seems unaware of my being there, I bend down about six inches away from her, and I am now on all fours, so close to her and I am overwhelmed by the spirit of pain that is hovering closely around her and threatening to send me crashing clear out of the room.

I am so close that I can now see her tears and I want so much to reach out and wipe them but her voice stops me. Once again the depth of her pain renders me speechless. “I just –“(more moaning) “—want some- — someone to – (sobs) –to love mm- — me, don’t want to – to be – be alone.”

I wish I could say that I help her up and wrap my arms around her and pray over her and she is whole again, no longer dependent on others for her emotional and/or spiritual well-being. Tragically that is not the case, and while this may seem a bit dramatic, the truth is that this kind of pain is a daily companion for many. In fact, that was me many, many years ago, blinded by my need yet driven by it to a destination unknown, a destination driven by desperation.

Would you join me in praying for those who are lonely, stuck in a cycle that is spiraling deeper and deeper into their need for love? Pray that the eyes of their hearts would be open to the love of Christ, the ONLY love that satisfies that need to give and receive love, the need to be accepted. Pray that their spiritual and emotional well-being would come to rest on and in Him. Oh, how He longs to be the lover of their soul, and yours, too!

We’ll get back to more of the definitions in this first word/way to succeed in life and love.

Evinda

P.S. Join us for Blog Talk Radio at 1:00 Pacific time today, and if you can’t join us at 1:00, you can go back later and download the show onto your IPod! Click on the “Listen to my weekly Podcast.”

 

Cleaning the Closet (conclusion to He’s a Housekeeper, too?) From Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power

Wednesday, October 5th, 2011

Welcome to Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power and thanks for coming back to this powerful series. I love that Jesus is our heart’s housekeeper, and that the tools that He uses to clean are gentle but strong, removing all residue and stain of the past. Grab your coffee and come on in. Let’s get back to cleaning the closet today! 🙂

Jesus is in the middle of explaining how often effects of things that have happened to us are like pieces of a puzzle, tightly knitted together as they form a complete picture that illuminates understanding into our closets of secrets.

I stared up at Him, feeling such a relief after blurting out one of the questions that had haunted me ever since I had escaped from the hands of the abuser. I felt a smile that warmed me from head to toe.

“See, one of residual effects of shame is the way that it cripples the abused from establishing personal boundaries, both physical and emotional.”

The tears of realization ran down my face as I agreed with Him and explained that for years, I had existed with the sense that my needs were unimportant compared to the needs of others.

“Beloved, that actually cycled into an unawareness of what your needs actually were, and so you existed without personal boundaries. But you are getting better at thriving instead of surviving.”

His reminder lightened my heart.

“See, you used to survive by avoiding pain and criticism at all costs as you tried the impossible: to impress everyone so you could feel acceptance. This leads to another piece, or effect, if you will.”

I looked down to where He was leaning and stared in awe at what I saw. I had not seen it until just then. It was a puzzle and He was placing another piece into it. I couldn’t quite make out the picture yet, but I could tell it was forming into something that looked like me. I brought my attention back to His voice.

“I see so many of my kids whose purpose has become looking for love. That pursuit interferes with a true connection and thus many who have been abused and wounded find their value in doing and not in being.”

He placed another piece in the puzzle and I gasped as it added to the picture of a heart that was bruised and dark in color. “But isn’t it good to please others?”

“Oh, yes, many of My scriptures talk about putting others ahead of yourself, but there is balance in this, and when one’s heart, or closet, is unpacked of old wounds, it becomes easier to see the balance in this.”

As I stared at the picture again, I saw something I hadn’t seen before: This pursuit had set me up for failure, because unconsciously I had expected others to be aware of my needs, and when they couldn’t fulfill them, I moved on to the next person, the next relationship, trying desperately to fill the hole within me.

He interrupted my silent thinking. “Daughter, you had no way of knowing that your continuing to form these relationships was setting you up for the cross-generational cycle, but you have chosen to break that cycle by allowing me into your heart and allowing me into the rooms of your heart. I am most delighted that we have begun the cleaning of this room which has held you in captivity for too long.”

I nodded my head in agreement.

“Now let me show you another piece.” He placed it in its spot and it added the color black to the already bleeding and bruised heart. “This is the effect of depression.” He sat up and grabbed a few more pieces. “Actually, these are what I call residual effects of child abuse.”

As He added the pieces, He named them. “Depression, death” –

My gasp interrupted Him.

“No, no, daughter, thoughts of suicide, which is a spirit of death.”

“Oh,” I nodded, still in a state of mixed emotion as the pieces pierced my heart with their reality in my own life.

He continued. “This one is sexual promiscuity,” and He placed the piece next to the last one. Fear went right beside it. “And then there’s anxiety.” He placed that one beside fear, surrounded by the others.

“That is one wounded heart there, Father, so dark and ugly.”

“That is why we must clean out the closet, Dear Daughter, so the effects will lose their power over your flesh and you will be better equipped to walk in My Spirit.”

Whew, I don’t know about you, but I think that’s enough cleaning for the day. Join me tomorrow for the conclusion and final cleaning of the closet!

Sparkling in His Sovereignty,

Evinda

 

He’s a Housekeeper, Too? Cleaning the Master Bedroom-From Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power

Monday, September 19th, 2011

Welcome to Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power and thanks for joining me today. It’s good to be coming back to this fun and meaningful series, “He’s a Housekeeper, too?” Grab your coffee and come on in.

For those of you joining us for the first time, this is about the 19th post in this series, and we are looking at the rooms of the heart, figuratively, and literally learning how He desires to come in and clean them out with us and for us and then take title, so to speak, of our heart. The beautiful thing about the way He cleans house/heart is He is always loving and gentle, not loud and quick, like a shop vac! 🙂

We last left off with the master bedroom, so let’s get started.

I woke up abruptly, shaken by my dream. Why in the world was I dreaming about that? I wondered. I sat up in a daze, completely confused because the dream had felt so real. A friend of mine had come to me, in this dream, and shared that she was having an affair. After all the years of a troubled marriage, she had decided to break her vows. I shuddered at the reality of it, at the truth that so many around me were actually dropping like flies in search for the state of happiness.

The tears ran down my cheeks as I sat there thinking about this friend I had dreamt about. What made it all the harder to decipher the dream from reality was the truth that this particular friend actually was in a very troubled marriage, emotionally starving for attention. We had talked many times about the precarious state of her marriage. This dream confirmed my suspicions from our conversations; that she was definitely looking for love in all the wrong places. But worse than that, she had crossed the line.

I bowed my head still lost in my silent tears, comparing our real conversations to the one I remembered in the dream. It hadn’t been much different from our in-person conversations. I had not ever been critical of her in real life or in the dream, but in the dream I was much more intense with her and definitely frightened for her. In real life, she was much more grounded, sensible, but in the dream, she had thrown all caution to the wind and she had thrown herself physically and emotionally into a hole of passion, blindsided by her own needs of which she was unaware; she only knew they were driving her to a place she had never been before, over a line she had never dared cross.

I sat on the bed for a while longer, swaying in the hope that it really had been just a dream and trying to escape my gut feeling that it had been more than a dream. Suddenly I remembered where I was supposed to meet Him and I groaned, not sure I wanted to after the vivid dream, a dream that had actually been a reality for me, more than once. “Is that why this is bothering me so much?” I asked aloud to no one in particular. I threw back the covers and grabbed my robe and headed for the coffee pot.

The rich aroma of freshly-brewed coffee helped clear my thoughts. I poured my first cup, added cream and a little sugar and leaned into the counter as I took a sip. Oh, yeah, just the way I like it: strong! I poured some into my thermos and got my rice cake with peanut butter. I was now armed and ready to go meet with Him. I was a little hesitant to meet with Him because I wasn’t sure how I was going to talk with Him about some of the things that I needed to talk about, but since He was so good at reading minds, I reminded myself, just maybe I wouldn’t have to say a whole lot. 🙂

Join me tomorrow for more housecleaning in the master bedroom.

Washed in His love and grace,

Evinda

 

He Gathers our Tears-From Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power

Monday, August 8th, 2011

Thanks so much for joining me for Coffee Hour. Today’s blog is dedicated to my self-adopted mom, her entire family, and any other mom who has lost a son or a daughter. Grab your coffee and come on in, but bring some Kleenex with you when you do.

I pulled myself away from what I was doing when my cell phone rang, but as soon as I saw “Mom’s cell” show up on my screen, I happily pressed the button to take her call. I was about to say a very happy hi – I love hearing her voice and we usually talk every day, especially when she’s on these around-the-world trips in her RV with her hubby. I just miss her and yet it squeezes my heart that she, at the age of 84, is able to still do this. Anyway, there was this sobbing on the other end and immediately every ounce of my being stood still, even the beat of my heart. I listened as the sobs turned into almost incomprehensible words. “K… -im…, D… -av…-id’s gone.”

I heard her the first time but I still said “What?” My brain just was not comprehending the message.

“David died in the middle of the night,” she managed to get out in between sobs. The world stood still for me then as I felt her pain and all I could do was cry out, “N-o-o-o-o-o-o-o.” Our sobs joined. “I’m so sorry, Mom.” I felt her pain, even though I have never lost a child. All I wanted to do was hold her. I longed to be where she was, but reality was she was in Maine and I in California. The release for my soul’s ache was that she would seek our Father’s grasp.

Immediately I was reminded and relieved that she had had some very special time with him and in fact had just left his house just two days before, planning on coming back after she went to visit one of her grandsons in Maine. I voiced that relief and she agreed and then was reduced to tears again. Thank you, Father, that you have gathered her tears.

Despite the truth that she had some quality time with him this last visit, she knew in her gut something wasn’t right. She as much told me so every day when we talked. She was so sad and heavy-laden as she told me about his struggles, his biggest apparent struggle being that of breathing. Their early-morning breakfast time had become a beautiful tradition every time she came to visit and this time was no exception. What cast a shadow upon it this time was his lack of appetite – a 240 lb man eating only part of a banana and a glass of milk? Mom made him promise he would go see a doctor, and in fact before she left on Tuesday, he told her he had an appointment that Thursday morning.

Mom went on to tell me more of the details that had just been relayed to her; that on Wednesday evening, he had begun to cough up blood, so they took him to emergency. The things that happened next and the discoveries that were uncovered happened within a very short time: They x-rayed his lungs and discovered several cancerous tumors stealing his air. He slipped into a coma and within two hours, he was gone.

As I listened, I just knew in my gut that David had waited to see his mom; that he knew there was something terribly wrong within him and he was ready in his mind, body and soul to go get his new body, claim those new lungs so he could sing in heaven with the angels as he waits for those in his family who dare to believe in the reality of The Heavenly Father, the gift of eternal life in Heaven. Oh, Merciful Father, thank you for putting a quick stop to any and all of his suffering. Even though her and I and my self-adopted sister, Shari, know that we’ll see him again, the sadness is so heavy! 🙁  Hope is our common denominator.

This is still an incredibly sad time for them, and because they are so sad, my heart is sad, too. That’s what family does, especially the family of Christ: We share in one another’s sorrow and joy. Mom said something so true: “You expect that you may bury some or all of your siblings; you expect maybe your spouse, but no way are you supposed to bury your own children.”

The reality of the unfairness of that hits me in the eyes of my heart and yet I must rely on His word that PROMISES (with His blood) that He works ALL things out for the good (His glory and our good) for those who are called according to His purpose. I know my self-adopted mom is called according to His purpose and one of her many purposes in life was to reach out to a wounded wretch like me and love me unconditionally, and therefore start my process so I could go and encourage others.

Because of what I’ve learned, what I’ve come to know as truth, I had to remind her that there would be something beautiful and amazing that came out of this incredibly unexpected and heart-wrenching loss. Her words to me: “I know that, but would you please help me find it when it does.”

Oh, friends, reach out to those who have lost. Don’t tell them not to cry, because you’re asking them not to feel. Don’t even suggest that they have much to be thankful for, because they can’t see that right now. Just love on them, and in a prayerful way, remind them of the hope we share, and the promise that something beautiful will come from the pain of the loss.

I love you so very much, Mom. And to the whole Standefer family, may the love your family was founded on bind you together toward heaven, that you may enjoy the biggest family reunion ever! 🙂

Evinda (Kim)

Join Steve & me for Blog Talk today at 1:00 Pacific time, or just click on the “Listen to my weekly podcast” link and you’ll land right in our Destination? Joyful! show.

 

He Doesn’t Use Band-Aids! (August WOW) From Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power

Monday, August 1st, 2011

Welcome to Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power and welcome to our August WOW! I can’t believe July is already gone. I know as I look back on the month, there have been a lot of sweet victories among us, a couple of very sad losses, a miracle or two, and a couple of lessons learned. Grab your coffee and let’s go chat about some words of wisdom which are weapons of warfare for us to use for this new month. 🙂

As I look back to when my journey with Him began, I can see this month’s WOW come to life even more and its truth ties another knot in my string of faith. Our weapons of warfare just happen to tie into the new series we just started entitled “He’s a housekeeper, too?” I don’t believe in coincidences as much as I believe in God-incidences. 🙂

August’s WOW comes from the book of Ezekiel and it is not only a promise, but a prophecy, and though it is directed to Israel, it is incredibly relevant for you and me. See, Israel had blown it big, just like we do today. They had become insensitive to sin and were running amuck and the nation was a mess. Sound familiar? These words contain a promise of the New Covenant, which is why I say this verse is not just for Israel, but for you and me.

How many of us have literally fallen and been hurt physically? Lots of us, right? If you’re a parent, I’m sure you’ve cleaned and nursed a few skinned knees and elbows, kissed a few boo-boos and wiped away many tears. Not too long ago, my six-year-old grandson was over and he had a pretty good fall and scraped his foot so bad it bled. He’s a lot like my son because the minute he sees blood, he panics. This day was no different. He hit his emotional panic button and the tears burst forth powered by the screams.

I wrapped my arms around him and carried his long and lanky body upstairs to take care of his latest child battle wound. He kept resisting my cleaning it, but finally, after several attempts and promises that it would only sting for a minute, he let me clean it. I pressed the little cleaning gauze with peroxide gently down on his scrape and then applied a bit of pressure, and as soon as I saw his eyes go wide, I leaned down and blew little huffs of love on the area that was wounded. That seemed to fascinate him and calm him at the same time, somewhat, that is until I pulled out the Band-Aid and then he really threw a fit. “I don’t want you to cover it up,” he cried in full force again while the tears began to stream down his face once more.

Oh, how I can relate to those child-like tears as I look back and remember when I started meeting with Him consistently and He began to reveal some things in me that needed to be cut out, some wounds that needed to be dressed and addressed and not covered up, spiritually speaking. Emotionally, I was like my little grandson, so scared that it was going to hurt, so afraid to let go and yet so miserable hanging on.

I’m so thankful He wasn’t swayed by my temper tantrums, my fits of fears and tears where I just knew it was going to be painful. He didn’t just cover it up; He cleaned it all out so there was no need for a Band-Aid, i.e., an addiction, a bad habit, anything that replaced the True Healer’s intervention in my life.

Instead, He made good His promise and this promise has been a process and His word confirms this over and over again. Oh how true it is that His Word is alive and active! 🙂 I love how it splashes reality and perspective on and in our life. These words are like a healing salve that He speaks to any and all of His wounded children, not just to the children of Israel or the nation of Israel.

Go with me now to Ezekiel 36:26 (NKJV) “I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit within you; I will take the heart of stone out of your flesh (body) and give you a heart of flesh.”

He just needs you to show up and He will replace that hard heart, and though there may be times where you will struggle with the fear and just the whole process, know that He will be faithful to clean out all the infection, anything that needs to go and fill and heal that wound, but not with a Band-Aid! 🙂 Instead, He will put love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control in its place.

May this promise resonate in your life and heart today and every tomorrow you are blessed with.

From my healed heart to yours,

Evinda

 

 

 

 

P.S. Join us at 1:00 Pacific time today for Blog Talk Radio, Destination? Joyful! show, Unpacking the junk, one piece at a time. We will be going over some of the demographic statistics of eating disorders and discovering just how common this is. Click on the “Listen to my weekly podcast” and you’ll land in our show! 🙂

 

Poetry in Heaven-From Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power

Thursday, July 21st, 2011

Welcome to Coffee Hour @ Chicklit Power and thanks for coming by. Today’s blog is about someone very special and dedicated to a very special family, so grab your coffee and come on in and let me share a little bit about this person and their incredible family.

Just last Friday I got the dreaded text from one of my best friends Kim, who happens to be CPM’s emcee as well. The text said, “He’s gone to be with the Lord.” She was talking about her dad. She’d been at his bedside for the past four days, fighting for his life in prayer harder than he could fight for himself, and there was Gum-Gum on the other side. You may remember some months ago me telling you about Gum-Gum in another blog. This is Kim’s mom, and everyone else’s she meets. 🙂 I don’t think I’ve ever met a woman with a bigger heart, but her daughter’s heart is nearly as big. 🙂

As soon as I got the text, I began to sob for their loss. It was as though I could feel it and I’m sure having gone through this last year with the loss of my own biological mom, that made it even more real for me. I also believe with all my heart that when you love and respect someone deeply, you feel their pain; you laugh when they laugh and you cry when they cry.

What a bittersweet time this is. On one side of the coin I am overwhelmingly sad for Kim and Gum-Gum’s loss and on the other side, I am rejoicing that his suffering is over, because believe me, I’ve had a few conversations with Abba where I’ve admitted that I just don’t get it, why He allowed her dad to suffer so much before taking him home.

I have come to terms with the fact that bad things happen to good people and I thank the author of Faith who whispers in my heart and reminds my mind that there are some things I just don’t get to understand but that doesn’t stop Him from turning this painful time into something beautiful in the future. I know that He can and that He will because He says He will. My sweet friend and Gum-Gum too are already talking about the service being a salvation service, which her dad is rejoicing over in Heaven.

Richard, aka, Kim’s dad, or Poppy as her kids call him, was a man of many thoughts, thoughts that he turned into poetry. He was a strong man with a gentle soul, a hard worker, a fierce protector and provider, a man of honor, a man honored. I’d like to honor him with a few lines of poetry inspired by the Father of all fathers . . .

Thank you, Father, for Richard’s life that touched so many of us down here,

whose kind words and deeds and gentleness would chase away all fear.

I don’t know that he realized the different legacies that he would leave behind,

For example, the gift of his poetry that came from his heart and not just his mind

Much of his poetry is captured on paper and is hanging in frames on the wall,

But truly his poetry was a reflection of his heart, the biggest gift of all.

I look into the faces of his grandchildren and can see traces of his gentleness

I know we’re all thankful for that, though it doesn’t make us miss him less.

His strength, wisdom and gentleness will live on in his family

And the way that he loved is so much more than just a memory

Simply said, Richard lived life like that of a beautiful poem

Steadfast in his faith, true to his convictions till the day that he went home

Our loss is heaven’s gain and yet we know we’ll see him again,

So let it soothe your soul to know there’s poetry up in heaven.

Love you so much, Gum-Gum, Kim and family . . .

Evinda